Saviour (A Phanfiction)

Chapter Nine

Warning: this chapter does contain mild smut (...again) don't judge me okay?
Im am literally SO sorry for the length of thia chapter. I was not expecting it to be this long.
Enjoy

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I land back on the balcony and almost fall to the floor. Phil looks up with a tear stained face. I step forwards, in absolute silence and practically fall into Phil's arms. He wraps his arms around my freezing cold body and I cry into his shoulder.
"I'm sorry Phil. I'm so sorry." I say.
"It's okay Dan, it really is okay." He replies.

*******

We sit side by side, leaning against the wall and watch as the stars shine ever so brightly. I feel the warmth being emmited from Phil's body and I look over to him, he's staring into the distance. I look away and I instantly feel his gaze on me.
I smile slightly.
"I really am sorry for doing that Phil, I didn't realise, I didnt want to scare you like that. I can be stupid sometimes and it's just-"
"Dan," he touches my hand, I flinch at his touch and just stare at those sea blue eyes, "you don't need to be sorry, it's not your fault, it's mine for being so hard on you and I made you get up there. I'm sorry."
"Phil..."
"Shut up and listen to me Daniel." He interrupts, I raise an eyebrow and look at him.
"I'm listening."

"We have been friends for how long, two months? I remember your first day at school, you stared at me for a good old two minutes without doing anything at all. I may have not been directly looking at you, but I did see you staring like you'd been starstruck- I mean, I don't really know why you were looking at me like that, I'm not that attractive. But that's not what i want to say. Dan, I want to talk to you: your beautiful brown eyes and fluffy brown hair, you are beautiful and whenever I see you I feel butterflies flying rapidly in my stomach. You are truly a amazing boy and you are perfect. Your flaws make you perfect.
I have had a crush on you for about a month and a half and- ugh I don't know what to say. I have feelings for you that a best friend should not have for eachother... I just want to say I love you more than anything in the entire world, I worry for you, I knew something was wrong when I first saw you crying in the toilets. I thought I could help... but... I guess I made everything worse-" he looks out to the sky and he's blushing so hard, I feel tears and I stroak his arm to reassure him it isn't his fault. He looks at me, "but you don't like me, do you?" He says, his voice shaking nervously.
I laugh out loud at that comment. He looks at me confused.
"No I dont like you Phil, I love you." I say, his eyes brighten up and I watch the smile form on his face and I start to grin and start to grin like a fool.
"Really?" He says, not believing me.
"Yes I do Phil, I have loved you for ages." I say holding his hand and assure him it's the truth.

It is the truth. I love him so much, I have since I first saw him. I didn't used to believe in love at first sight but this boy has changed everything, love at first sight really does exist because it happened to me first hand.
"But how can you love a boy with scars all up his arms?" I add.
"Because scars are beautiful, they tell a story. The story of your life and they make you who you are."
We just sit there in silence for a few moments feeling eachothers heat and just embracing our company.

"Oh, and I know what happened on Sunday. I didn't drink as much as you did. I may be young and incredibly stupid but I know when to stop." Phil says suddenly.
"Then why...?"
"Dan, you were drunk out of your mind, I only did what you wanted."
"Phil.... can we forget about that night and start something new, something amazing and wonderful? Forget about the past and enter the future. Will you do that with me and be my boyfriend?" I say, I feel my cheeks go hot. "Oh my gosh that was so cheesy-"
"It was supposed to be cheesy." Phil says using his fingers to make me look at him and lifts up my chin, then plants a kiss on my lips.
"Yes, I would be honoured to have you as my boyfriend."

He kisses me full on the mouth. I close my eyes and kiss back, a feeling of euphoria flowing through my body and heat flares through my veins, like flames. I push the kiss further, he lightly pushes me into the wall and leans on top of me as this wonder continues for longer and longer.
He pulls away, he's on top of me, he looks down at me, his eyes shining like diamonds. I look up at him and smile.
"Come on let's get inside." He says holding my hand and pulling me to my feet.
He leads me to his bed and we kiss again, he ends up on top of me again looking down at me with that adorably cute smile.
"I love you." He says.
"I love you too." I reply.
I let hin hover above me for a few minutes and then I just hug him again, pull him slightly to make the cuddle closer and just laugh into his chest when he falls on top of me.
"Hey, I knew you could laugh, I knew you hadn't lost the ability to laugh."
"Shut up." I laugh pushing him off me teasingly. He laughs and sits back up. He sits on my lap and I hear my phone beep. I ignore it.
I look at Phil. "Kiss me again, please Phil."
So he does what I say and kisses me on the lips. He removes my shirt and I quickly remove his. He stops kissing my lips and starts kissing down my face and to my neck. I moan in pleasure. I move my head back to give him more room and he plants kisses all the way down my neck, leaving lovebites as he goes, making me shiver and moan in complete pleasure.

He finds my lips again. I spit out a giggle between kisses.
My phone beeps again.
"You should answer that." Phil says.
"Its probably my mum asking where I am. It'll be fine." I say.
I hold the back of his head and pull him towards me more.
"Dan," he says.
"What?" I groan pulling away. My phone beeps again.
"Answer it."
"I don't want to."
"Fine." He replies. He kisses me again and pushes me to a laying position and kisses me even more. More passionately.
"Phillip Michael Lester, I love you so, so, so much but..." I say pushing him up slightly and sitting up.
"No 'buts' Daniel. Forget about the past-" he kisses the scars up my arms, then my lips- "and think about the future. Your dreams, they will come true."
"They already have. My dream was to have a friend, a friend who accepted me, who understood me, who didn't judge like every other bastard out there. I wanted a lover, a boy who will love me forever and never stop loving me..." I drift of unintended and start crying.
"Dan... what's wrong?" He says wiping my tears then pulling me into a massive hug.
"But you wont love me forever. You'll ditch me in a few months for another person and i'll be back to square one. It always happens."
"Dan, you're paranoid." He says releasing me. "I would never leave you. I love you and i always will no matter what, I promise- oh and for your info Daniel: I never break promises."
"I doubt that." I murmur, then cover my mouth. That was a mistake.
"Try me." He says.
"Kiss me then." I say, surprising myself.
"Urm..."
I literally jump on top of him and press my lips against his, he kisses back with no hesitation.
He quickly ends up pushing me below him and he goes back to placing lovebites all over my body, then kisses his way back to my lips.
I love Phil Lester. And he loves me back!

******

I end the kissing and pull away, we lay in the bed together. Me cuddling up to Phil's bare chest, he's warm and it's relaxing.
He fiddles with my hair and rests his chin atop my head.
"Dan, promise me you will never ever hurt yourself again." Phil says quietly.
My heart skips a beat and I jump slightly. I can't, I think. The pain is pleasure and I love it.
I enjoy it.
But I love Phil more. I enjoy Phil more than pain. He gives me more pleasure. Pleasure pain cannot give me.
He's a pleasurable companion who's now my boyfriend. Pain is not my boyfriend. It is a unhealthy obsession I have which I need to stop or I will hurt Phil again.
"I p- promise."