Playing Pretend (Pablo Gavi)

Chapter 5

Sevilla, 2012

Carolina and Gavi went to school together but anyone who saw them outside of it would think they'd never seen each other before. They tried to ignore each other to avoid more arguments. But also, they always tried to find each other with their eyes. No matter where they were. It was like there was some sort of magnetic force they couldn't control.

Their personalities were so different too. Carolina was very social and extroverted. She craved the attention as well. Whenever there was an activity being organised at school, she was the first one asking to help or to be the star of it. She had a lot of friends but some people didn't like loud kids like her. They preferred kids like Gavi.

Because Gavi was the complete opposite. He was getting better at making friends and playing football definitely helped him. But he was still so shy. The spotlight terrified him. Even if it just meant speaking in front of the class.

"I'll be captain of the team!", said Carolina during their PE class.

"Honey, the girls don't play football. Why don't you go with them to play volleyball?", told her the PE teacher, earning a glare from little 8-year-old Carolina.

"I play football. And I'll be the captain".

"Ok...Gavi, you're captain of the other team".

Gavi looked down and walked to stand next to Carolina. He always felt confident playing football and she was going to stop him from doing that now.

"Are you going to tell me girls can't play football again?"

"No but you just aren't good enough, Carolina. Deal with it".

"And you are, little midget?"

At just 8, Carolina was slightly taller than Gavi, which bothered him a lot.

"I still can grow and short players are good".

"Whatever".

"At least I'll get a chance...you won't".

He didn't even know why he was being so mean to her. But Carolina always made him so nervous. Ever since the day they met 3 years earlier. He always felt like he had to defend himself before she even attacked him.

But at the end of the day, he felt bad because he could tell his comments hurt her. Carolina didn't know how to hide her feelings. This time, she just took the ball from him and got ready to play.

"Carolina! Stop!", screamed the teacher for the tenth time. "You can't do that".
"What? Take the ball from all the boys who can't play?"

"You are mocking them. This is a class where we learn more than just how to play".

"I'm just being the best. You don't mind it when Gavi does it".

Gavi couldn't believe how she had to make him a part of the argument. It was always the same.

"He plays for a real team and will have a future in football. I have to encourage him so he gets better".

"I want to play football too, where is my encouragement?"

The teacher didn't like being talked to like that. "With that attitude, you're getting nowhere. Go play volleyball with the girls NOW!"

Gavi looked at her leaving while the other boys celebrated getting rid of her. But he didn't celebrate. And when the classes were over, he was going out to meet his sister to walk home together and saw Aurora wasn't alone. Carolina was with her, and she was crying.

"Pablo, go away", said Aurora and Carolina lifted her head.

"Let him see me cry. I'm just a weak girl so that's what I do".

"I don't want to see you cry", he whispered.

"You have it all so easy, Pablito. Everyone loves you. Everything is so easy for you...".

Was that really what she thought? It was her that everyone loved...or so Gavi thought. He didn't realise how her need for attention was trying to compensate for the lack of help she got. Carolina didn't want to do the things girls were supposed to do all the time. And she was met with rejection after rejection. She couldn't understand why that was done to her. Also, all her teachers compared her to her older sister and made her feel like she was never enough. Her cry for attention was just her way of asking to be accepted. But being just 8, she didn't understand that was why she did it. And no one bothered to try and understand what the reason was either.

"I'm sorry you feel that way", tried to say Gavi but Carolina was already leaving.

"Whatever you say".

Present time, Barcelona

Carolina was having a lot of fun filming a video with Ona but once it ended, the smile left her face. She could see the way the media team looked at her. One of the first things she learned was what looking at her like she was a big disappointment looked like.

"We need to talk".

"Ok".

"Carolina, I don't care what you and Gavi do outside of here. But this is your job. You have to take it seriously. We can't have you arguing every five minutes all over the place. You can't let your personal relationships affect how you do your job".

"I'm sorry...it's just...it's just how we talk, kind of".

"Well, talk in a different way".

Carolina nodded. She hated being told off like that. "I will".

"Gavi has always been a perfect player for us. A perfect boy, really. Hard-working, humble, nice, ...he's never had any issues with anyone and then you show up here and this happens. So it's easy to see who is the problem".

Ona looked at Carolina, trying to asses whether she should talk to her friend or not.

"You ok, Caro?"

"Yeah", answered Carolina but Ona could tell she didn't mean it. "It's just the same as always. Gavi is perfect and I'm problematic. I'm used to it. He probably told them it was me who started everything. It wouldn't be the first time".

"I didn't know things between you two were so bad...".

"They're not", said Carolina. "I just hate that I can't hate him. He gets all I want and I just can't hate him".

"Why?"

"I don't know...".

When Carolina was leaving, she noticed Fermín was by her car, waiting for her.

"You knew they were going to yell at me, then".

"Are you ok?"

She shook her head and Fermín hugged her. Gavi wasn't far and he saw them. Carolina's body was shaking slightly so he knew she was crying and he hated seeing that. Of course, when she felt bad, she went to Fermín. Or to Aurora. It was always that way...why would she look for comfort somewhere else? Even if someone else was willing to comfort her too. Carolina didn't want Gavi to be the one who tried to make her feel better when she was crying. She wanted him far away.

"I'm sorry they told you off. I told them it wasn't a big deal...", tried to tell her Gavi but Carolina was too hurt.

"I'm sure you begged them not to say anything to me", she said, voice full of sarcasm.

"Carolina...".

"You're just the same you've always been, Gavi. Just leave me alone. I wouldn't want to be a bad influence for the perfect Golden Boy".

She was so tired of not being enough. Maybe she shouldn't have left Atleti. That was the first place where she felt like she belonged. All her teammates supported her and the fans treated her so well. She missed seeing them at the matches so much.

Maybe she had made a big mistake.