i'm yours

seventeen

Minduelle held Deiji in her lap, staring ahead of her, zoning out, hardly blinking. She had woken up about thirty minutes ago, at 6:15am. Her body hated her for what she put it through last night and waking up so early. Her mind hated her for make it overthink so early in the morning.

Minduelle was currently imagining life without her Grandma. She had to prepare herself some how...

Everything was hitting her so hard now. She was doing decently the weeks before even though she saw the signs. Today just felt so far away then. But now...

Now it's only a few hours away and everything was falling apart around Minduelle.

She knew today would be a horrible day.

–

Minduelle closed her eyes, feeling Taehyung's back move against hers with every breath he took as he sang. She nodded her head slowly to the song they were practicing, keeping her eyes closed. She hummed along softly, really enjoying this song, even more with Taehyung's voice.

But then, he stopped.

"Come on," he spoke gently, his hands holding her wrists tightly. "You need to sit down."

"What?" Minduelle frowned, suddenly feeling how cold Taehyung's hands were against her skin. Or was her skin burning? She couldn't tell.

"You're going to pass out." Taehyung mumbled, sitting her down on the rocking chair, the only chair other than a folding chair. "We need to decorate this room better."

Minduelle grabbed Taehyung's hand, her head falling forward for a moment. "I need to lay down."

"Okay." Taehyung remained calm, kneeling on the floor as he helped her lay down. He picked up her hand, looking down at the heart rate monitor. "Take some deep breaths, Noona. You're okay. Just keep breathing."

Minduelle took a deep breath, doing as Taehyung said. "I guess I'm more nervous than I thought." Minduelle tried to smile. "First duo with you in a while, last performance in front of my grandma, last day out in the real world with my grandma before she gets sentenced to a disgustingly sanitized hospital room, last dinner with all seven of you and my grandma, last day I'll be out and about for a while until-"

"Min," Taehyung chided softly. "Stop. It is 8:43 am and you are in the crappy storage room at our house. You are Minduelle and you can only control Minduelle." Taehyung gave her a reassuring smile, staring right in her eyes. "Live in the moment right now. Don't worry so much."

Minduelle held Taehyung's eyes for a few more moments before closing her eyes, her hands going to her face, her lips trembling. "I don't want her to go. I-I feel like, if, if I do something, there must be something I can do to stop this." Tears traced her temple before they disappeared into her hair. "If I just, what if I donate my heart and lungs to her? Or, or what if I just, can I medically assisted suicide-"

"Noona." Taehyung's voice cracked, his own emotions fighting to burst through and into sloppy tears. "Please don't talk like that. I can't lose you so soon." Taehyung picked up one of her hands, holding it tightly. "You promised me we'd be Bingo Buddies in the nursing home."

Minduelle stared through her blurry vision, too upset to decide if her vision was blurry because of the tears or because of her medical condition. "I don't think I can live without her Taehyung. I've been thinking-"

"Stop." Taehyung begged, laying down on the floor, his head on her shoulder across from him, his chest on her chest, his hips on their side and on the floor, his legs as well. "You're not dying."

Minduelle's breath was stolen from her right as she passed out, Taehyung feeling and hearing her heart rate suddenly drop. He sat up quickly, cupping her face, keeping her head steady as his eyes darted around her face. He let go of her face and scooted down to her legs, picking them both up and putting them on one of his shoulders.