Turbulence

Chapter 12

Eda lay curled on the bed, embracing her knees as her body shook with unstoppable cries. 

She couldn't believe how stupid and naive she turned out to be. A couple of smiles, sweet words, and gestures, and she fell hard her head first, not thinking about anything, only making a fool of herself.

Eda tried to wipe her tears but to no avail, as the new ones didn't want to stop flowing from her eyes, and every time she began to calm down, a new wave of sadness was overwashing her, making her cry even more.

She couldn't believe how pathetic she was. She was sure that Serkan immediately sensed it and used it to the full extent. After all, everybody must have seen how easy target she was. Self-conscious and insecure. It was a child play.

There she thought she was flourishing, growing up, becoming a woman, prancing around in new, revealing clothes, and playing with makeup just to earn his gaze, while she only proved to be the biggest idiot in this world. 

She never was so humiliated in her life. It hurt so badly that she couldn't even breathe. It hurt even more because she was in love with him.

How could her mother be right? She mocked Eda when she chose to work at the base that she would fall for a handsome pilot, and he would cheat on her, and this is exactly what happened. 

Why did Serkan turn out to be a lying cheat? He seemed so perfect. Was he pretending all this time? All his sweet words, loving gestures, all their nights of passion. Did it never mean anything to him? Was it all a lie?

Eda sat up on the bed, feeling exhausted after a sleepless night. It was already breaking dawn, and she still couldn't put herself together. Her hands were shaking, and her head was splitting in half from the headache.

Eda bit her lips, trying to control her sobs, ordering her body to stop with this pathetic display of weakness, but her chin trembled, her lips quivered, and she burst into tears again.

She wanted to stop thinking, forget, and never come back to this topic again, but her treacherous mind was putting Serkan before her eyes over and over again. 

Eda snorted with anger, fisting her hands and throwing herself on the bed, burying her face into the sheets and hitting the mattress to vent her anger.

Now she could see how stupid she was. What on earth possessed her to enter into a relationship with a man so secretive as Serkan? She had never thought about it before, but she barely knew anything about him. The most she knew about him she had learned from Ceren, but even that wasn't a lot. 

He never talked about himself. He threw her some scraps here and there. All he was doing was asking about her while giving fragmentary information about himself that at the time seemed satisfactory, but Eda realized that even if asked directly, he barley was revealing anything about himself. He never talked about his past work, studies, childhood, not even family, to the point she embarrassed herself, not knowing that the party was taking place at his family estate.

She didn't know anything about him. He was so good at decepting her with his cheerful, easy-going personality. He mastered averting her attention with his jokes and stories about other people, and later, he clouded her judgment with sex but if anyone would ask her now who Serkan was, she wouldn't be able to give a comprehensive answer. 

The truth was she didn't know. She had no idea who was the man with whom she spent a couple of past weeks. All they did was have sex.

Eda hid her face in her palms, feeling shame. Why didn't she notice it all before? She should be better than this. She shouldn't act like a stupid teenager who lost half of her brain because of a handsome man. Maybe, if she hadn't been so awkward for the better part of her life and had more normal human interactions, she would have been able to read people better and recognize and avoid players like Serkan, but she didn't. It was her mistake. It won't happen ever again.