CHAPTER 46 | WHEN I DIED

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Axel's body felt heavy as lead as he lay in a field of soft, green grass. Opening his drooping lids, Axel gazed up at the clear, blue sky above. His mind still spun from the pain it had been subject to just moments before.

Where am I? What's going on? Axel sat up slowly and looked around him. He was in the center of a vast, green field sprinkled with white and blue flowers. The day was bright and cheery, offering a great contrast to the pain he had been enduring before being snatched from Angel's Landing.

Am I dead? Axel lifted his arms and studied his hands. I feel very much...alive... Opening and closing his hands, Axel confirmed that his body was not in pieces and was still intact.

"Ready to go?" It was not until a voice sounded behind Axel that the hangel realized someone was sitting just beyond him. Turning to see who had spoken, Axel's eyes widened when he saw the man.

"Rae!" Axel scrambled to his feet and rushed to the blue-eyed angel before throwing his hands around Rae's neck. "Thank goodness you're okay." All of Axel's concerns melted away as he embraced his colonel. I wish this dream could last forever.

Assuming that his mind had become so shattered that it pulled him into a fantasy to cope with the pain he was currently experiencing, Axel disregarded all the strange sensations he had upon waking and finding himself in a foreign place.

"You don't have to be so dramatic every time you see me, goof," Rae returned with a light chuckle as he interlaced his fingers with Axel's and stood to his feet, bringing the hangel up with him. "We're going to be late if we dilly-dally any longer."

"Where are we going?" Axel asked as Rae began to lead him to a nearby village that could be seen toward the edge of the field.

Instead of answering him, Rae turned to Axel and smiled brightly while saying, "I can't believe I get to be yours. I love you, Ilios."

Axel's heart dropped in his chest the instant he heard Rae voice the name of his past life. "I-Ilios...?" He was suddenly reminded of his conversation with Ilios, and that opened the floodgates to the memories of pain.

But, what confused Axel was that he was not feeling any pain aside from the spiked heart rate at the realization that something was very wrong. This was not his memory, and Rae was not the Rae he knew.

Upon looking at Rae once more, Axel quickly realized the Rae he was currently with was a younger version of the colonel he knew and loved. This Rae was the one who loved Ilios. Axel smiled softly when he saw Rae's happy, calm expression, and he secretly wished he could have been able to live out his life as Ilios with the Rae who knew no trauma.

"What do you want for dinner tonight?" Rae inquired as he pulled Axel along with him as he slowly made his way to the edge of the field facing the village beyond.

Axel choked on silent tears when he heard how light Rae's voice was. He was happy.

Slowing to a stop, Axel gently pulled on Rae's hand until the blue-eyed angel stopped and turned to him. "What's wrong?" Rae inquired, his voice coating with concern as he approached the hangel.

Axel remained silent; he did not give Rae a reply. This is Ilios' memory. Why am I here? What is happening? Axel's brows furrowed as he silently pondered the situation. What was happening to his soul? Was he still in Angel's Landing? Was all of this a mirage he had scrounged up to flee the pain?

Regardless of what this place was or why he had been brought there, Axel knew he needed to get back to Angel's Landing. His soul would shatter otherwise, and the Rae he knew, who was currently fighting for his life, would be buried by Hades' power.

"I wish this could last forever," Axel finally spoke when he came to his decision. Tears touched his eyes as he gazed up into Rae's clear, blue orbs. "I wish you could have remained in this happy life with Ilios. I wish I wouldn't have left you alone all those years ago. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Ilios..." Rae gently voiced the hangel's past-life name as he reached out and softly wiped a tear that escaped Axel's eye.

"I have to wake up." Tears streamed down Axel's cheeks as he voiced his decision. "I have to get back. You're waiting for me."

"What do you mean? I'm right here."

"No, this is a memory," Axel replied with a shake of his head. "A memory of our happiness. Right now, we are fighting to get that back. That's why...I need to go."

"Ilios, what are you talking about?" Rae's brows crinkled as he tried to make sense of the hangel's words.

As much as he wanted to stay in the perfect dream, Axel knew he must return to the present and finish out his duties. So, he took his hand out of Rae's and turned from the angel. Knowing that Rae would immediately reach for him to stop him from leaving, Axel instantly broke into a run. Axel's heart ached as he ran from Rae who called out to him endlessly. But Axel continued to run; he ran far, far away. He ran until he did not know where he was.

He ran until he heard a cry break out, "Ilios!!" It was not Rae's voice, but it sounded familiar. Who was that? Whipping his head around, Axel found himself standing underneath a glowing dome. He had been transferred to another memory. The change was so sudden that Axel had not realized he was in a totally different place until wings sprouted from his back.

Purple light cracked and flashed inside the glowing dome as one of Hades' machines was activated. The purpose of this machine was to suck every ounce of energy of whomever was trapped beneath its dome and store the energy in large containers that were connected to the machine.

It became hard for Axel to breathe as his energy and life force began to be pulled from his body. He was able to remain calm when he realized this was a memory. But, it felt incredibly real, as if it was happening to Axel then and there. As if he was Ilios. As he was the angel who had sacrificed himself for the universe five centuries ago.

That was when it clicked. Axel's head snapped up when he realized he was reliving the moment Ilios had lost his connection to Genyr. He then remembered, Aniela's words, "Genyr, is an exception. His link with his angel was severed before his angel was killed. Ilios had been trapped in a machine created by Hades to collect his light and energy, and this cut the link between Ilios and Genyr. Thus, Genyr is masterless and can be wielded by any angel."

This is that moment! This is when...Ilios died. When I died.

As Axel looked around, he realized he was in a throne room. Black columns held up the trusses and roof that appeared to be made of volcanic rock. The dark floor was made of rough rock, and the hall was lit by torches anchored into the dark walls. I am in Hades.

Axel knew of the battle that took place in Hades thanks to Aniela, who had spent hours catching Axel up on the history of Heaven's volatile relationship with Hades, so he was familiar with what was about to happen. Vitrius, the king of Hades who had trapped Ilios in the dome, was standing in the center of the hall with a large, black sword in his hand. Axel swallowed dryly, his gaze glued to the sword.

He had seen the black blade many a time. Every time he slept, that blade would torment his mind. And now, he was seeing it in person. Fear engulfed Axel as he could feel a shadow of the blade as it pierced his chest. Be strong, Axel. Be strong. There's a reason you are here. Axel inhaled deeply before breathing out slowly as he steadied his racing heart. More than anything, he needed to keep his cool. While this was a memory, Axel knew it would feel as though it was happening to him, and he needed to prepare for just that.

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