"My heart is so full of you, I can hardly call it my own. I'd be yours in a heartbeat, only if you asked."
- an enhypen texting/twitter au story
[Book 2 of the 'Right' series]
The group's vacation at Jeju had ended and their plane from Jeju had finally landed. The group slowly moved out of the airport and Jay couldn't wait to get back to his dorm. Oh My God, I'm so sleepy. I shouldn't have stayed up so late last night.
After Jungwon and Jay left the beach, they returned to the house. Instead of going to bed like normal people, they ate ice cream and stayed up watching cringey dating shows while making unnecessary commentary until the sun rose. Ugh, that was probably not the best decision. I'm so tired that I will probably fall asleep if I sit down.
I don't regret it though. Staying up with Jungwon was really fun. He's a really cool guy. I didn't know he was that feisty and funny. Jay smiled to himself as he thought of how Jungwon had passionately defended his favorite contestant on the dating show and how he had been so invested into the show that he hadn't even realized that his ice cream had fully melted and fallen onto the floor. He's like a cute, fierce little kitten.
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The group had finally located their cars and Jay quickly loaded all of his and Jake's into the car. "Come on Jakey. Let's go" he called as he got into the car. Jake nodded and was about to come over but Sunghoon quickly grabbed Jake's hand and said something to him. Jay smiled bitter-sweetly as he saw how Sunghoon's eyes softened whenever he spoke with Jake and how Jake's ears turned bright red whenever Sunghoon smiled at him. They really are crazy over each other, aren't they?
Jake and Sunghoon finished their conversation quickly and then Jake waved goodbye to everyone and finally got into the car so they could leave. As Jay was about to start the car, Jake looked at him worried and asked, "Hey Jongseongie, you look tired. Do you want me to drive instead?" Before Jay could respond, Jake had already gotten out of the car and switched seats with Jay.
As Jake started driving back home, Jay silently stared at him. Things like this which you do are what made me fall for you in the first place, Sim Jaeyun. You being so naturally considerate is what stops me from getting over you easily. I know you don't realize it but by being so sweet, you're breaking my heart. Because I know that no matter what, I'm not going to be the one you love.
And I don't know if I'm okay with that yet. I thought I was, but I'm not so sure anymore. At times, like in Jeju, I kind of accept the fact that you're never going to be mine. But, sometimes, you make me hope again. And that's the worst part. If I just lost all hope in you and me, then I can finally move on.
Jay let out a quiet sigh as he turned to gaze out of the window as the familiar streets blurred past them. I wish I could tell you. I wish I could just stop pretending I'm fine with being just your friend. But the truth is, I'm terrified of losing you completely. So, I'll keep pretending.
Jake glanced at Jay for a second, his expression soft. "You okay?" he asked casually, his voice full of concern, as though nothing was wrong. Jay forced a smile, nodding. "Yeah, just tired," he lied. Maybe someday, I'll be able to let go. Or maybe... I'll keep falling for you over and over again. Either way, you'll never know.
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As soon as they got to the dorms, Jay went straight to his room and passed out. As he woke up a few hours later, the dorm was surprisingly quiet. As he looked around, he realized that Jake wasn't in the dorm. Where's Jake?
As Jay picked up his phone to call Jake, he noticed that he had a bunch of new messages and notifications. As he clicked on the first notification he saw which was about Sunghoon's latest post, his heart dropped as he stared at his screen.
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@not.sunghoon tweeted.
all mine? ❤️ @sim.jakeyy
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10394 likes | 90 retweets
replies:
@sim.jakeyy all yours.❤️
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Well, I guess that answers the question of where Jake is.
I guess Sunghoon finally mustered up the courage to ask Jake to be his boyfriend.
Jay stared at the screen as his hand gripped the phone tighter, knuckles turning white as he fought the familiar sinking feeling in his stomach. He had known this day would come eventually.
I mean, the look of pure, unfiltered love in Jake's eyes as he stares at Sunghoon is hard to miss. Jay's heart thudded uncomfortably in his chest as the knot in his stomach tightened. From the moment Jay had known Jake and Sunghoon, he knew they would end up together. But seeing it, seeing them, become an official couple like this made the pain sharper, more real.
I want to be happy for them. I really do. I mean they're both my friends, in fact, Sunghoon's probably my best friend. And they're clearly in love, and they both deserve to be together. They deserve it, they are made for each other. The image on Jay's phone blurred as his eyes filled with tears. Oh My God, I'm crying? That's so embarrassing. I can't believe I'm crying over someone who doesn't even know I like them.
I knew this was going to happen, but why does it still hurt so much? Jay cried silently as he moved back to his room and locked the door. He sat down on his bed and stared at his reflection at the mirror on the wall in front of him.
Jay slowly wiped away the tears from his eyes as he whispered, "Jake, why couldn't it have been me?"
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[kitty]
kitty: hyung i saw the post are you okay?
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a/n: SORRY FOR NOT POSTING IN SO LONG i was super busy and fell sick for a few days so i wasn't able to post i hope yall like the chapter tho :)
