Chapter 17- Feelings Never Did Me Much Good

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The sun was setting in the early evening as the hockey team was on the bus, heading to a game. I was sitting next to Razor as he was doing his math homework. He had his textbook on his lap along with his notes. calculator and pens that he was seemingly always chewing on. One arm was around me, as I was slumped over, giving him advice on his math problems.

I was dozing off, this was the time for my afternoon nap. As a kid I was never able to take naps, and now I'm catching up on all that lost time. Razor was hesitant to let me sleep, he shook me gently to wake me, telling me I needed to be awake to play the game. Little did he know that he awoke the sleeping beast and now he shall pay the price.

"I will take my nap. I do not care. You will let me sleep because you are unable to take my nap away from me. Yes?"

That was the final note on the matter and he let me doze off for the last part of the bus ride to the other school's ice rink. When we were there, I hadn't realized we were and I was pissed off that he woke me up again. I sat up, rubbing my eyes and I began yelling at him sleepily.

"What did I tell you about letting me sleep, you moron!"

"Dude. We're here, wake up!"

I looked around, the bus was stopped and I saw the school out the window. I took a deep breath and sighed, getting up to head out off the bus.

"What, no 'I'm sorry'? Maybe a kiss?!"

In return to his statement and attempt to be smooth, I put my hand on his entire face, shutting him up and making it obvious I wasn't going to kiss him.

"You'll never get a kiss from me that way, you know." I advised, removing my hand from his face.

"Then how do I? Will I ever get another one is the real question at hand here-"

"Maybe you should just stop asking," I played hard to get.

The rest of the team responded with the appropriate sound effects for the situation and with that, Razor knew he was defeated. At least for today.

"Would you like some ointment to put on that burn, luv?" I snickered as I grabbed my bag and hopped off the bus. He rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair, trying to keep his dignity that we all knew was long gone.

Today marked the first game that I was on the starting line. I wasn't confident in myself that I was able to do this, but I told myself I would deal with my emotions later.

It surprised me that word didn't spread around our division that I was a girl, so there was the same reaction from the players on the other team when they first saw me. I had gotten used to it by now, their doubt mixed with mine, but I had used it to my advantage. They didn't expect much from me, but with the set of skills I had and was decently talented at, I used it to my advantage.

The end of every game was the same though. When we had to shake hands, I either got nods of respect from the guys for being a girl and really trying hard, or condescending looks from the assholes because I was a girl.

You would think that because I have to go through all of this, I would quit. Believe me, the thought had crossed my mind many times, but this sport gave me something to hold on to. Something to belong to. After all my hard work to master basic skills so I didn't look awful, I wasn't just going to quit.

When the bus arrived back in our school's parking lot, we filed out and headed to our cars. Razor and I threw our bags into the backseat of his Jeep and he got in the driver's side. I tumbled into the passenger's seat next to him and I collapsed, exhausted. He drove me home and carried my bag to my door too, as he knew I was about to fall asleep standing up.

I unlocked my front door and took my bag from him, putting it up in my room. I came back downstairs and he was still standing on my front step. I walked out, closing the door halfway behind me. I stood in front of him and he played with a strand of my hair as he talked quietly.

"Good game tonight. You did nicely on the starting line."

"Thanks, Razor. You too, you really had it on point tonight."

"Thanks, I know. It felt different, but I don't know why."

"Eh. Things change in people."

"Now we're not talking about hockey, are we?" He questioned, getting to my head.

"No." I softly said as I put my right hand on the back of his neck, my warm hand reacting with his cold skin. I stood on my toes and pressed my lips to his before I walked back inside.

"Was that so hard?" He played as I was in my house. He gave me the puppy dog eyes he managed to pull off so well, he knew I couldn't resist him when he flashed his big chocolate eyes at me along with an expression that could make anyone pity him, no matter the circumstances. I stepped back outside and we kissed over and over again, until we were out of breath. I smirked and stepped back inside and closed the door, collapsing onto my bed and falling into a deep sleep.

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