On Thin Ice (editing again)

Chapter 18- Seasons Change, People Don't

Before you get hit in the face with a puck, there are a few things running through your mind before it hits you. The first is, "wait, is that a puck?", The second, "wait, it's coming towards me", and "WHAT THE PUCK?!"

Usually, you don't get that far before it actually hits you, because in the millisecond that your brain needs to process the information, the puck has already established itself on your face.

The flying puck scraped my cheek and continued speeding along the curve of my visor on my helmet before landing on the ice in front of me. As a reflex, I took a shot and scored a goal, all before I got completely body slammed into the low sideboards before our team bench. I found myself laying across the laps of my teammates soon after, getting pats on the helmet for scoring the winning goal.

I don't know what just happened, but it was something good. That's one thing I've learned-- the best things in life come when you don't know what hit you and when you least expect it, before your brain has time to process what's going on.

Just then, Razor came skating up to the bench and he leaned over the boards to kiss me, just to keep skating over to the ice where the new face off was. Jake took my place on the ice, as I needed a minute to regain control of my mind and my bearings.

I bit my lower lip, excited that he spontaneously kissed me, and that I actually had someone like him right next to me.

"So are you two going out? Is it official now?" Andrew, a defenseman, asked me.

"You know, I don't know, really. We've hung out and been around each other a lot, and there's feelings there, we just don't know what to do with them. You know?"

"I know the feeling. But let me tell you something about Razor, okay? He's a really good kid. I've been on the same team with him for years now, and he really tries his best and hardest. He will be your best friend, but he doesn't handle some things really well. He can't handle losses of any kind, he's always pissed off at something, and there will be times when he'll say that he's fine, but it's obvious he's not and he just won't talk to you about it. Don't take any of it personally, it's just his feelings he doesn't do really well. Nothing against you. And if it is, I promise you, he'll let you know."

"Well, isn't that worrying, huh?" I responded. That got me thinking about everything. It was a scary thought. Would I be able to know? What happens when I won't?

"Don't even think about it now. We're up by 3 and you've got a good hand of cards here. And don't worry, you get another hand soon after you fold. It'll all be good, Blaze."

"I sure hope so."

***********************************

"Blaze, Blaze, snap out of it! Blaze? Hello? EARTH TO--" my brother waved in front of my face. I was caught in my thoughts and I caught up with reality soon after.

"Don't you even dare say my real name, Dallas."

"Eh, well it was about to get your attention. And, I miss your real name. Everyone just calls you Blaze. I get that you're firey and dangerous, but you're also my sister, and you have a real name."

"That doesn't mean I want to hear my name."

"Oh well. But anyway, what were you thinking about?"

"Nothing, Dallas."

"Have I ever told you how bad of a liar you are?" He smugly poked at me, knowing he would get something out of me. He sat on the couch arm that was by my feet.

"If you really want to know," I began, smirking. "I was thinking about boys and kissing and dates, cute puppies and long walks on the beach."

"Ugh, gross. You're a girl, and that seems to be all you think about."

"And kicking ass on the ice."

"Well, and that. I shouldn't ask anymore, jeez. But I suggest to go talk to Razor about how you feel. I know that look, and you're thinking about him."

"I was about to head out to get dinner. I'll go see if I can study with him today."

"NO, NO, NO!! Don't be a dork, Blaze. Profess your love for him as if it were a Nicholas Sparks novel. NOW GO!"

"Okay okay, I'm leaving! And no promises on the romance novel thing, Dallas. I doubt he'll be in a tux with roses and it will be pouring rain-"

"THAT IS NOT NICHOLAS SPARKS!"

"THATS MY ROMANCE NOVEL KIND OF LOVE, OKAY?!"

With that, I took my keys and ran to my car, praying that there was light traffic on my way to his ex-firehouse house. I prepared what I was going to say to him exactly, and I was just happy.

I really wanted to be his girlfriend, I had dedicated so much time to figuring him out and there have been too many nights where I laid in bed, tossing and turning and considering who I was, who he was, and who I became because of him. Now was the time to tell him that this isn't an act anymore, and that I was ready to be his girlfriend if he was ready to be my boyfriend.

I got all green lights on my way, it was as if the universe was finally agreeing with me. I pulled up into his driveway, and I parked the car and hopped out and ran to his door. I knocked repeatedly, and for the irony of it, I sang loudly and off key

"SOMEBODY CALL 9-1-1! NA NA FIRE BURNING ON THE DANCE FLOOR!"

He opened the door to his house and before he even said hello, he responded to me with

"Somebody call 9-1-1, the nostalgia is burning on the dance floor. Dear god, that was the jam of middle school," he laughed. "Hey Blaze. What's up?"

"Hey, Razor. I'm probably not going to stay for long but I just need a minute to say something I've been dying to say for the past few days and I should have said a long time ago, you know, but now, I have the courage to-"

Just then, one of the popular girls from our school, whose dad is a bazillionaire and pretty much owns the Pittsburgh sports teams, came to the door and draped her arm on Razor and rested comfortably in his side.

"Hey Ray. Who's at the door?" She cooed. I watched him totally give in to her.

"Oh, this is a friend of mine who plays hockey with me."

Wow, he doesn't even mention my name. My stomach sank and I was feeling suddenly sick, as I was realizing more was going on here than I initially thought.

"A girl hockey player?" She asked, clearly disgusted.

"Hey, that's my..." he stopped himself. "Best friend you're talking about here!"

"You know, I don't really care. Get her out of here and help me study so I can pass this test tomorrow, or else I'll make sure you can't play hockey again. Kay?" She threatened with a sugarcoat that anyone, any guy, would fall for. Her sugarcoat is just as sweet as I am, though.

Razor looked at me and I signaled to him that it was fine when it really wasn't. He closed the door and I walked out to my car. At that point in time, there were a lot of things that I could have done. I could have cried, knocked on his door again in a fit of rage, savagely beat up the girl that just ruined my night, or walk away.

I walked away, knowing that the only heart that was broken was mine, since I held up my expectations just a little bit too high.

Walking away is the hardest damned thing in the world until you walk away, and then, it's ridiculously easy.