Honors And Redemptions Of The Outlaw

Chapter 20: Gray Murtle

Meanwhile

Amber*

Damnit. That's all I have to say. The only words fit to come out of my mouth as I let my childhood fully disappear. I could have done something, been quicker or smarter, I don't know anymore. Elizabeth's brother is dead and the conclusion is, it was my fault.

She blames herself for what happened to him, constantly saying about how it should have been her, not him, her. Reality sets in and the truth is it should have been me. I've done far worse than any of them. Jackson killed one man with a big name and he gets killed for it while I've killed many innocent folk who just happened to be in the way of this freedom we all seek.

That's society for you. Sure can be a bitch. Jackson was a brother to me, whether I'd like to admit that or not. He was annoying as hell when he was a teenager, constantly picking on us, especially Elizabeth. When I was a kid I just wished I could get out of there, find my own place. Now, now I just wish I was a kid again. Everything was simpler, not a care in the world, I'd go through hell and back just for one more day like that. It all just reminds me of, Sadie.

haven't written or spoken that name in a while. A year, maybe two. She wrote me a letter I still can't bring myself to open it. Haven't seen her since I and Elizabeth's mistake with the law. She was always a clever woman and knew how to get what she wanted when she wanted it. Seems she figured out what name my mail was under. I am slightly touched by this, but also scared. She always told me stories of how she and Mr. Marston worked so hard to keep us from this life.... How much my father gave up to get them to where they were. Now I've done nothing but undue their hard work and wallow in my own self-pity, keeping myself busy to not think about the pain in my life. People say it ain't healthy, but it helps sometimes. I only hope we continue our plan on getting out of this grave we're digging for ourselves before it really is too late.

June, 30; 1866

I dropped the pencil on my journal that laid on my lap, rubbing my temples with my thumbs. I lifted my head looking down the hill we sat on, waiting for the carriage as night set in. Henry sat leaning against a tree asleep while Shea had a grin on her face as she fiddled with something while she sat on a rock by Archie. Jameson sat against a tree watching the road with an unwavering gaze.

"Anytime now, mind waking Henry up?" I added. Jameson looked at Shea who had already stood up slowly tip-toeing her way over to him. "I think Shea has it." Jameson half whispered to not wake him up, anticipating her next move. Shea stood beside him holding a canteen of water before putting a finger to her lips while looking at Archie. A wide grin appeared on Archies face at the realization. Shea flipped the entire canteen upside down.

The water hit his face getting his entire upper half soaked as Hnery sputtered water out of his half-open mouth. Shea cackled in victory as Henry looked at her dumbfounded. "You fucking ass hat." Henry spat at her. Jameson shook his head when Shea rolled her eyes waving him off. "I ain't the one snoring to the point no one else can sleep."

Archie stood seeing a dim light come up the dirt road. "Would you two knock it off? The coach is coming." Archie said watching as the light came closer. Henry stood up with a sour expression. "What do you know, kid." I stepped in front of him going over to stand beside Archie. "Well, he's right so get your ass up n' stop being so sour 'bout it," I said before pulling my bandana over my nose. "Put your mask up and get to the horses," Jameson added which Archie and I nodded to, earning an eye roll from Henry.

"Since when does he get to say orders?" Henry asked as he pulled his bandana up. "Since he became more mature than you," Shea added, only fueling the fire. I mounted Junior leading him over below the trees on the side of the hill with Jameson at my side. Shea, Henry, and Archie followed. "Alright, usual, nobody has to get hurt 'ere." Jameson nodded, watching as the carriage came into view.