All too well ² // the fisher brothers

002

Eleanor 🎀

I drag myself out of bed and stumble into the bathroom, intending to relieve myself, but as I glance into the mirror, I'm met with the sight of puffy eyes, hair tangled into a bird's nest, and the same old Cousins t-shirt I've been wearing all week.

With a sigh, I splash some water on my face, scrub my teeth, and attempt to tame my unruly hair. Ever since I cut it a few days after Susannah's funeral, it barely reaches my shoulders. I spot the familiar bow sitting on the counter, the one I wore to the debutante ball, and decide to add it to my half-up, half-down hairstyle.

Returning to my room, I change into a dress for Steven's graduation. If it weren't for his big day, I'd probably have stayed in the same t-shirt.

"We should already be in the car," my mom calls out as I descend the stairs.

"Coming!" Steven shouts from somewhere above. I take a seat and wait.

"I swear I left the tickets here," my mom mutters, clearly flustered. I can't handle anything right now; my head is pounding. I rummage through the medical cabinet, grabbing a painkiller and some water to alleviate the headache.

Belly trots down the stairs and heads for the door just as the doorbell chimes. She returns with a basket filled with goodies.

"Ooh, is that for me?" Steven asks eagerly, pointing to the basket.

"Sweet, a laptop. Well, who sent this? What?" he wonders aloud, spotting a letter nestled among the contents. I retrieve it and read the sender's name aloud.

"It's from Susannah," I announce to Steven.

"She must have planned it before. Classic Beck," my mom remarks.

"I wish she could have been here. Conrad and Jeremiah, too," Steven muses.

"They were busy," Mom responds dismissively.

"Yeah, sure," Steven mutters, shooting a knowing look at Belly. I reach for the necklace Conrad gave me, but it's missing. I miss him. I miss all of them.

🌊

"They say... that everything happens for a reason," Steven begins, his voice carrying across the graduation hall as he stands at the podium, a figure of authority as the valedictorian. I'm seated beside Aaron and Isla, listening intently.

"Now, who 'they' are, exactly is unclear. Maybe a theologian coined it. Or, I don't know, whoever configured the simulation we're clearly living in. Maybe it was Rihanna. No, no. Rihanna can do no wrong. It was definitely not her," he quips, eliciting a few chuckles from the audience. "But we've heard it time and time again. It's supposed to convince us, you know, that everything had to happen exactly so, in order to teach us something about ourselves, in order for us to grow and meet our destiny."

"I think that's BS. I'm sorry, Mom. Sorry," Steven continues, his tone slightly apologetic. "You know, breakups don't always lead to breakthroughs. Sometimes a girl dumps you after an awesome summer, and it sucks. And you learn nothing from it, but you eventually force yourself to move on anyways. But then the unthinkable happens, and you realize it's pointless to think of life that way."

"Ellie," Susannah calls me.

"Hey, I never see you in here," I reply, noticing her seated in the room where my mom usually writes her stories.

"Your mom assigned me this room to clean. It's the easiest, since I don't think she sets foot in here once to do any writing this summer," Susannah explains.

"Don't you hire cleaners anyways?" I inquire, and Susannah puts her fingers on her lips. I instinctively touch the infinity necklace dangling from my neck, finding solace in its presence.

Susannah moves a piece of my hair to get a better look at the necklace and begins to speak. "I love that necklace on you. Connie told me what happened between you and Jere."

"Oh," is all I can manage to say at first, but then I gather my thoughts. "I just feel like I'm losing everyone."

"You're not. It just takes time. Jere will find his way back to you. And this place is always here for you," Susannah reassures me.

"Yeah, but you've made every summer here so magical, Susannah," I say, tears welling up in my eyes. "I mean, what happens... what happens..." I choke on my words, unable to finish the sentence.

"Ellie, you love this place the same way I do. If anyone can keep the magic going here, it's you. You're my special girl," she says softly as she rises from her seat. "I need to call the cleaners." As she stands up, I can't help but wrap my arms around her, not wanting her to leave me.

"Promise me you'll never leave me," I implore.

"Never," she says, kissing my forehead tenderly.

"Come to the party," Isla pleads with me.

"Okay, yeah, sure," I agree, giving in to Isla and Aaron's enthusiasm.

"Really. Oh, Ella, it's going to be the best night ever," Aaron chimes in, his arm draped around me as we walk toward Steven, who's waiting in the car with my parents.

"Come to dance regionals," Isla urges me further.

"I can't, Coach won't want me there," I explain.

"Please, please, pretty please with a cherry on top," Isla persists.

"Okay, okay. I'll come."

Word count: 890 words