𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗟𝗞𝗘𝗥 | PJM ✓

//32//

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✦ᴛʀᴜsᴛ✦

Jimin didn't come the next day. You had somewhat expected him to, especially since you were supposed to hangout today. Not that it mattered—you wouldn't have been able to join him anyway.

You hadn't slept, and now you lay lifelessly on your bed, dried tears on your cheeks, with no energy to get up.

What did you do to deserve this? You only wanted to love someone and when you thought you had, you were fooled. But not all of it was the truth.

Although the candy fooled you into feeling that way, there was part of you that genuinely liked him, you liked the Wansoo you knew.

Why did you like him in the first place even though he didn't care much about you and had several women? It's simple: you thought he was a great man. You had been stalking him for years as you've seen how he treated women, seen him sympathize with people you never even noticed, observed how he cared about his friends. You had seen his simple acts of kindness, like helping an injured cat and making it his pet. It's not just his small lips, not just his doe eyes, not just his smile but also his actions.

Even though he had several relationships, he never cheated while in them. He was always loyal. Having multiple relationships didn't mean he was unfaithful—it just meant those women weren't the right ones for him.

You always saw him as a gentle, caring, kind man when he was dating them.

Maybe it was the image of your ideal someone that you saw in him, which made you like him even for a little bit.

You never ate the candy everyday, only when you were upset and even then, it was only one piece each time since you didn't like the taste. You weren't always high when you saw him, so you knew that some of your admiration for him was genuine.

You liked him, not just because of the candy's effects. Somehow, you managed to trust him without realizing it and now after everything, you feel betrayed. Everyday, you admired him, especially his unique trait of giving candies to people he knew randomly only to discover it was something worse. It was shattering—was that why my candy was always different from the others? It made you feel special. Deep down, you knew something was wrong but you trusted him anyway.

It isn't entirely his fault. You trusted him because of your foolish thoughts and ignorance. He was never a very close friend for you to trust so deeply. It was your own decision and knowing that hurts you more. What his fault was doing this to you, his friend, doing something inhumane.

Even though you expected him to do something bad, you never thought it would go this far. The realization that he was trying to achieve something you never wanted to think about, left you devastated.

The only person you had defended to your brother, the one you admired and liked was trying to use your body.

The betrayal cut deep and the pain was almost unbearable. You felt profound sense of loss, as if everything you believed in had been shattered.

The person you trusted and looked up to, the person you liked, the person you had stalked for years, the person that caused your guilt, the person that made you happy, upset, cry, Wansoo, had turned your world upside down leaving you utterly broken.

You aren't sure if you'll be able to move on from this or be the same person ever again.

He made you not to trust anyone.

You find yourself staring blankly at the ceiling as tears continue to fall like an unstoppable river. Each tear carries a piece of your emotions, flowing down as if it could lessen the pain. The pain with betrayal, devastation, and other feelings too overwhelming to describe pulled your heartstrings.

Heart not broken because of love, but because of trust. You never loved the man, it only made you think so. If it was love, it wouldn't disappear so quickly. If it was love, you'd try to understand him. But there's no forgiveness in you, no mercy. You want him out of your life.

Wansoo broke your trust.