Forever Yours

Chapter Four

Ethan Williams

"You went up to him about it?" I run my fingers through my hair shaking my head.

"Personality disorders untreated can be bad. It says here, 'self harm or self destructed' self harm E" Remi snaps, looking at his dad, Uncle Xan.

"He's right honey. If he's untreated it's not safe. He needs to see someone" Uncle Xan nods, and Uncle Knox comes in, two mugs in hand. He passes one to Xan, and sips his.

"Yeah, mental health is serious. You can't fuck around with that. Plus if you care about him that deeply-" Uncle Knox says, and Remi cuts him off.

"Sh!"

"You told them?!" I burst, getting to my feet to pace.

"I was worried!" Remi gets to his feet, and comes over to me. "Think about him, okay? Do you want him safe?"

"Yeah" I sigh, glancing over at my uncles.

"We won't tell Bran. You wanna be a weird stalker that's your business" Uncle Xan says, shrugging his shoulders.

"It's not weird" Knox and I say at the same time, which causes Remi to grimace.

"You stalked dad?"

"Stalking is a stretch." Knox shakes his head. "Back to your problem, if this boy struggles from all of what Rem's told us he definately needs to see someone. Tell your dad you have a friend who needs to see someone but can't get in without help. He'll help you. He doesn't want anyone to be in distress because of their mental health"

"I can't believe you told them" I murmured under my breath, which made Remi pout.

"I tell them everything"

"Mhm"

—

"You have an appointment tomorrow at the pack house" I lean over the counter, talking to Connor.

He raises his brows, pushing to his feet. "Excuse me?"

"With a psychiatrist. At 4, after school. I'm picking you up, and we're going." I nod, confirming my words.

Connor laughs at me. He shakes his head. "I don't know what you and Remi think you;re doing. But I don't know you. I don't want to know you. I have nothing for you. You have nothing for me." His words are harsh, and he believes them. I can feel it.

"Connor-"

"No, listen, I don't want any part of this. Leave me alone. If you need books, fine, come and get them. But dont come in here for a friendship. I have nothing to offer you" and then he's fucking gone.

—

"You told my brother before you told me?" Pop brows crease, as he glances at his brother. I've told him everything. The light stalking, the obsession, the worry we have for him. And that's what he takes from it?

"Actually, i told my best friend, who ran his mouth" my eyes flick over to Remi, who's leaning against the wall.

"Do we know if this boy has hurt himself, or are we just worried he might?" Dad asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

"We self diagnosed him with a personality disorder. It's a huge spectrum, but it's a lot like bipolar. Well, not really but it is. And it has the potential for self harm. He's definately on the high end of things. He has outbursts'' Remi fills in our search, and dad shakes his head.

"Googling your symptoms is never helpful. You never actually know what things can be. Rhys has outbursts and he doesn't have a personality disorder" Pop says.

"Emotional, outbursts"

"Xan had those, and he's bipolar" Dad chimes, and Uncle Xan nods.

"That is true"

"Okay, so we're on the conclusion he's neurodivergent or bipolar which still needs treatment. It doesn't matter what it is, he may need treated" i huff out, and dad sighs.

"You can't force someone to get help. You can offer it, and if they reject it they reject it"

"So I just have to sit back and watch all of this happen?"

"Yes' ' My dads response, and I groaned.

"But how is he supposed to get help if he doesn't have the access to it himself? If I didn't set up the appointment, he wouldn't have a way to make an appointment period. Our pack needs some serious mental health changes "I huff and start pacing again.

"That's uh. That's actually a really good point" Uncle Xan says. "I was only offered so much help because of who my dad was. What about the people who are lower on the pack tier? What are we doing for our pack members who need the extra help? You said this boy lives with his sister, mental health illnesses can make it hard to keep jobs. How are we helping our own pack members?" Xan voices some of the thoughts running around my head.

I chew my bottom lip, picking at the loose skin. "We come from a family with loads of mental illness, and it's taking us three generations to even think of any of this?" Remi says, making his way to me.

He pulls my hand away from my mouth, and leans into me. It's weird maybe, but it's what works for us. Remi has become like my rock. He knows when I get anxious, or too into my head. And when one of us does, we tend to actually lean into each other. It's like the physical touch grounds us.

"Sounds like something an Alpha can change," Dad says, his eyes on me.

"But Will-"

"Doesn't want it" Pop sighs. "She told us last night she wants nothing to do with it. She said it doesn't feel like her. But she doesn't want to force you into it"

"I could make this difference?"

"If you want it" Dad nods. "When you turn 21 mated or not you can be an official alpha. Until then we can start with ideas and I can start enforcing them until you take over. Then it's all yours. It'll be yours now, i'll just inforce it until you can"

"I can help," Remi says from beside me. "We can brainstorm together"

"Want a difference? Make one" Uncle Knox says. "You want to see a difference, be the difference. I think mental health deserves to be talked about more and we need a change. Make the change"

If I want a difference, if I want him to utilize the help, shouldn't I help make that happen? And not just for him, but for everyone. For people who don't have the chances to get help. But I don't want to help just the people in my pack.

I want to help everyone. But how do I do that? How do I make that a possibility? If I'm alpha can i really make a change? Can I make this pack?

Being alpha is so much more than the title though. It's something I'll have to commit to. Something I'll have to want, and not just because one thing sounds good.

But if I can make this difference, what other things can I change? What other things can I make better?

Do I want to find that out?

....... 

Ethan thinking about being alpha is soooo real for me. It shows more of the pressure of being alpha and what you need to be capable of!