Forever Yours

Chapter Nine

Connor Chase

Shifting behind me wakes me up. An arm tightens around my waist, the bubbling panic simmers.

He stayed.

I shift, turning onto my back. Ethan opens his eyes, his hair is a mess. His eyes roam my face, and flick back to my eyes. "Feeling okay?" His voice is hoarse from sleep. It's kind of hot.

I nod, shifting again until I'm on my side facing him. His arm stays across my waist, and it's comforting. Normally I'm not huge on being touched. It's not my favorite but it's settling with him.

"Want to get some breakfast?"

"Can I meet your uncle?" I blurted.

It's been on my mind all night. I'm not alone? I know everyone has their own issues. But I guess knowing that someone else struggles like me is comforting. Maybe it's what I need.

"I can see if he's free," Ethan nods. "I'll go get my phone" he starts to get up, and panic surges, I grip onto his arm, and he glances at me. "Just going to my room, Pretty Boy. I'll be right back"

I don't let go of him, and he nods. Then smirks. He's pulling my body on top of his, my thighs instantly straddling his lap. "Hold on" he murmurs, before he's getting out of bed. His hands go under my thighs, holding me.

He just gets up, and goes to his room. With me in his arms. I blush fiercely, because I know I'm being ridiculous, but he's feeding into it. He's carrying me around like a toddler.

Once we were in his room, one hand left my thighs, and I held on. My arms around his neck and my thighs tightening around his waist. Then he sits on his bed, leaning against his headboard with me in his lap.

A part of me is screaming to flee. That I can't trust him. I can't trust anyone. But my body betrays my mine, and settles into him. The bond between us settling into place. My head goes to his shoulder, and his hand roams my back as he uses the other one to text.

After a few moments of silence, Ethan speaks. "He said he's free now for breakfast. We can go to the diner in town" he reads the message, and i nod against him. "I have to get dressed, and so do you. Which means we have to separate"

I slowly nod, but my arms tighten around him, and so do my legs. He continues to rub my back, and it's soothing. We stay like this for a while. Until the panic settles. "Can I just stay here while you change? I wont look "I promise, almost pleading.

I don't recognize this side of myself. Hell, I don't even know who I am anymore.

"Yeah Pretty Boy. I'll go with you after. I might look though" he jokes, i think.

I slid off his lap, sitting criss crossed on the bed. He hesitates, then gets up and changes. As promised, I don't look. I don't want to. I'm not ready for that.

We go to my room after, and I change quickly.

We headed to the diner he was talking about. It's not too long of a drive, which is nice. We stay in a pretty comfortable silence. I enjoy it, honestly.

Once we get to the dinner, I see Alexander. He's not as well known as our Luna, but it's his brother. So I've heard of him.

I don't see him around much though. He's about my height, with curly black hair. His skin is a bit darker than Ethan's, but they have similar eyes. He gives me a nervous smile and I nod in return.

"Hi, I'm Xan." His voice is gentle. It's calming.

"Connor," I murmured, and he smiled.

"Our babies mate" Xan smiles, and turns. "Lets get some food"

We follow him in, and we get a booth. We slid in, me beside Ethan and Xan across from us. We look through the menu, and order drinks. It's pretty smooth. Ethan and Xan talk a little. Joke a little too, I think.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Xan asks, his eyes settling on me. I swallow down the rock in my throat, and get a drink. I lick my lips and rub my hands against my thighs.

"I guess I wanted to talk about- what you did to feel uh. Better?" My brows furrow, and I shrug. "I don't know. Sounds stupid when I say it outloud."

"I don't think it sounds stupid at all," he shakes his head. "I did a lot to get better. I had a long journey of sadness and my emotions everywhere. I learned how to handle them, I also got put on medication and saw a therapist regularly. Being with my mate helped a lot too. It settled a part of me" Xan says, explaining his life experiences.

"It wasn't an easy journey. I had my family by my side though. And i wasn't alone"

"I have a sister" i blurt "But that's all i have"

"You have me, too," Ethan says, his eyes roaming my face. "I'll be by your side" he adds.

"I guess so.." I murmured, looking at my lap.

"I'd love to be there for you," Xan adds. "I don't want you to feel alone. You're never, ever gonna be alone now. I am so sorry you had to go through that by yourself, but you won't have to deal with that anymore. We can be your support person"

His words are genuine. I can feel it. I can feel how much he cares about me. Yet my brain is telling me I can't trust him. I can't trust anyone.

"Every monday, at 7 we're going to get breakfast here" Xan says, nodding his head. "You and I. We're gonna get to know each other. I'll show you I'm here for you. I'll prove it to you" his words hold promise, and it hits me hard in the heart.

I've never had anyone in my corner. Never had anyone on my side. And now I'm supposed to trust that i do? How do I do that? How am I supposed to just throw away all my negative thoughts and trust?

Am I capable of it? Of trusting someone? Do I deserve this kind of support? What if I'm too much?
My head is spiraling, my mind is getting foggy. My vision is blurring, and I feel like I can't breathe. I try to take a deep breath, but I can't. I grab at my chest, and my whole body jerks. I crumble.

I'm pathetic, as I curl in on myself. I'm alone. I'm alone. Alonealonealone.

But I'm not. Because arms wrap around me, and I'm being carried. I'm too far gone to

comprehend where i'm going. My vision is so fuzzy. But i'm being set somewhere, and i'm rocking. I'm curled in on myself, and I'm murmuring something.

I don't know what though. I don't know what's happening, but it's not working well for me. My whole body is jerking and shaking. But then hands are cupping my face, and a blurry Xan comes into view.

Arms circle around my waist, and I realize I'm in someone's lap. Ethan.

"Listen to me babe" Xan's gentle voice breaks through the fog. "We're here. You are not alone. I'm here with you. Ethan's here with you. Take a deep breath in for me" he mimics the motion, and I follow, inhaling a large gulp of air. Then he pushes it out, and I follow suit, pushing out all the air that filled my lungs.

He does it again, and I start to shut down. But then he talks me through it, he brings air back into my body.

"It's all you Connor, not me" Xan corrects. I must've said that outloud.

"Couple more Pretty Boy" Ethan murmurs in my ear, as they help me out of my messy head. As they pull me from the darkness. The sadness.

"Monday at 7?" My words are rocky, and hard. They're broken, but firm.

"Monday at 7" Xan confirms, and I let out another shaky breath.

I'm gonna be okay. 

.....

Sorry for the late update! I got a bit behind. Hope you enjoy :)