Forever Yours

Chapter Twenty One

Ethan Williams

"He's going to be a bit tired. The drugs are wearing off and he hasn't really been awake in a while. He might be a bit shaky today and tomorrow but after that he should even out more. I'll get the paperwork started and then we will get you guys out of here" Dr. Anders says. She's a sweet woman, in her late 40's. She's been working with Connor this whole time.

I head back into his room, and sit on the edge of the bed. "Hey Pretty Boy" I smile, and Connor blinks at me. His eyes are hazy, and he's probably a little out of it.

I run my fingers through his hair, tugging on the strands.

"Hi" he finally murmurs, relaxing into me. "What happened?"

"I think we should wait until we're home. We can talk about everything then "I say sweetly, while stroking his hair. He stays relaxed and calm, and I let out a loose breath.

"When are we going home?" he whispers softly.

"We're just waiting to be discharged, Pretty Boy. Then we'll head home"

That seems to be answer enough, because he relaxes and settles further into the bed. He stays comfy like that until we leave.

My whole family has been here with me constantly, but when he started waking up they wanted to have it limited to one person. All the added people would just cause stress and he needed to be calm.

By the time we're pulling into the parking lot, Connor is fast asleep. I don't hesitate to carry him in, and put him to bed. I take a quick shower, then I settle on my bed.

He starts to thrash, whining and his chest jerking. I quickly get a hold of him, and try to calm him down as best I can.

He finally calms down, becoming putty in my arms.

And because he's warm, and because I'm exhausted. The last three months sitting in a hospital while my mate is in a medically induced coma took a toll on me. Because I need it, I fall asleep too.

——

I jerk awake, when Connor gets up. He murmurs he has to pee and he does just that. While I wait for him, I rub a hand over my face and let out a deep breath. I don't know how this is going to go.

Connor comes back, and instantly climbs in bed. He lays on his side, scooting close to me. He inhales a sharp breath. holds it and releases. Then he looks at me and nods. "I'm ready for whatever this is gonna be. But I can't sit here feeling panicked that you're gonna leave me. i'd rather just know then not"

"I'm not gonna leave you- why would I do that?" i shake my head "That's besides the point, are you sure right now is a good time to get into all this? i don't want to overwhelm you"

"I can handle it. Go on "I nod, and suck in a deep breath.

"I came home and you were really out of it. You weren't making much sense, and I didn't know what was going on. you were off, but i couldn't place it. We got the kids ready for bed and you went to lay down first. That's when I went to shower, and I found your blades and the empty pill bottle Connor. You took an entire bottle of antidepressants. You started to have a panic attack"

I suck in a breath, feeling my skin prickle with nerves. I hate thinking about that day.

"You wouldn't breathe, so I couldn't figure out if you took the whole bottle or not. I didn't know what was going on, so I took you to the hospital. They pumped your stomach, and found 52 antidepressants in your stomach. You had fresh scars on your body. But that was all the damage you did. The rest is something else"

I see Connor's eyes fill with tears, and I watch him blink them back. I watch him swallow, his Adam's apple bobbing. I go on. "They sedated you for 4 hours, and when you naturally woke up you freaked out. You wouldn't calm down, you wouldn't breathe.

They said you went through psychosis and PTSD. They said your mind wasn't where it should be. It was like being on another planet. So they had to sedate you again. And again. They had to keep putting you down for weeks. You would wake up and freak out. You'd scream so loud and try to hurt yourself, Connor. It was terrible" this time, i'm swallowing down my pain and blinking back the tears.

"You were down for three months. You woke up 2 weeks ago, and were calm for a few minutes before losing it. Then you woke up a week later and you haven't freaked out since. You've been in and out consciously but you haven't freaked." my voice is raspy, and my heart clenches. "You scared the fuck out of me baby. I never thought you were coming back to me"

"I'm so sorry" Connor whispers the words, but they're half hearted. He may not have been aware of how bad he's doing, but he knew he meant to harm himself. His plan failed, and now he has to deal with the repercussions.

We do. Together.

......

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