𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐈𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐍 / alex standall ✓

𝟐𝟐. tape nine

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐈𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐍
22 / TAPE NINE
↳ season one, episode nine: tape 5, side a
act one / the tapes

!! TW: SEXUAL ASSAULT !!

"𝐈𝐅 𝐈'𝐃 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖𝐍 what would happen, what that night had in store...I might never have walked through that door. But parties have a weird magic. They're like an alternate universe.

They can make you believe that maybe anything is possible. Maybe you do fit in, after all.

But she didn't, did she, Justin? She didn't know. And people don't really change. Welcome to your second tape, Justin Foley."

"Please?" Nessa begged her boyfriend as the couple walked into the living room, where at least ten of their friends were playing Suck and Blow. Alex had a sour look on his face as he glanced around the room, the heightening number of drunk teenagers lingered across the couches.

"Fine, but only if you drop the card and kiss me on purpose." Alex surrendered to his extremely persuasive girlfriend.

"I was already planning on that." Nessa revealed, dragging her boyfriend to the couch, placing herself between Zach and Alex. She always made sure to sit next to Zach during this game, because nobody would make her kiss her brother. When she and Alex had joined the game, so had Justin and Jessica.

"Scoot, Clay." Jessica said as the two drunken teenagers wedged themselves on a small portion of the couch next to Clay Jensen and Hannah Baker.

"You guys playing?" Jessica asked, and both of them declined.

"You guys playing or what?" Sheri asked both Jessica and Justin as well as Nessa and Alex, who all eagerly replied with a yes. The game started, and made its way from Sheri to Justin, who immediately blew the card off and began making out with Jessica passionately.

"Damn, Justin!" Nessa called out, clapping for the two. She thought they made a supremely adorable couple.

"Damn, Justin, get in there!" Bryce yelled over the sounds of the party guests cheering.

"Shit, I guess I lost." Justin said, laughing when he and Jessica pulled away.

"No shit, you did." Nessa replied as Jessica picked up the card and continued the game, passing it to Jeff, who passed it to another girl, who passed it to Zach, who passed it to Nessa. Nessa blew the card off too, a little more subtly than Justin had moments before. She shrugged before wrapping her arms around Alex and began to make out with him.

"Holy shit, Ness." Bryce cried as he clapped, everyone else following him as well.

"Fuck yeah, Nessa!" Jessica said as she smiled and laughed, kissing Justin again.

Nessa and Alex continued, their bodies moving just as Jess and Justin's had moments prior, only they were a bit more respectful of the people around them on the couch.

"Alright, that's enough." Zach said, embarrassed as he tried to stop the couple.

"Ah, Zachy, let her have fun." Bryce told the boy. "One of you's gotta get some action."

Finally, Nessa pulled away from Alex, who immediately grabbed her body and pulled her onto his lap to hide the situation that was in his pants at the moment.

"Zach, you really need to get laid." Nessa teased her brother before she planted another quick kiss on her boyfriend's lips and continued the game.

"That night, for the first time in a long time, I didn't feel invisible. I was nervous 'cause I felt so good, and I didn't want to screw it up. I was trying to act normal, but I didn't really know how anymore.

There are three stories to tell about that night. I'll tell this one first. How did I end up in that bedroom? That's another story. But for now, Justin, you'd been with the same girl all night. But I'm not going to call her out by name. Even though, if you were at that party, you already know.

I realized two things in that moment – number one, I was drunk. And number two, so was this girl. But I figured you'd just give up, and leave her alone. At least, I hoped you would.

I know what you're thinking. Maybe, if this girl hadn't had so much to drink, what happened next never would have happened. But, it was a party. Everyone had too much to drink. Besides, how can you blame someone for something that happens while they're unconscious. That's a question I'll be asking again later.

I had to do something. I had to make him stop. But I couldn't get my feet to move. It was dark in there, and the music was loud, but I saw his face. And I recognized his voice as clear as day. And so would all of you.

But this tape isn't about him. It's about you and me, Justin. You called him a friend, but your girlfriend needed you. That girl had two chances that night, but we both let her down. How do I live with that? How do you, Justin? How does she live with what happened?"

Nessa was sitting in an empty classroom with Zach and Justin, who were sitting in front of her as she ripped them a new one.

"Are you two fucking crazy?" Nessa spat as she paced around, her arms flailing as she yelled at both of the boys in front of her. "I mean, seriously, planting weed on him?"

"It wasn't just us, Marcus did it." Justin tried to defend himself, but he looked away once Nessa cut her eyes at him.

"This is not going to fucking help!" Nessa quietly yelled so they wouldn't get caught talking.

"Come on, Ness." Justin said, pleading her to understand..

"No!" Nessa raised her voice. "Montgomery already pissed me off, you know, beating my boyfriend senseless. Then, you had to go and start another fight with him, Justin. And now, you idiots are planting drugs on someone. This is fucking ridiculous!"

"We needed to do something." Zach tried to say, but Nessa cut him off again.

"Why? Why is it so bad that Clay goes to the cops if the tapes are lying anyways, Justin?" Nessa questioned. She had listened to the rest of tape nine in English class, and she was disgusted. She remembered that party, she remembered who Justin was with. Everyone did.

She didn't know what to believe, Hannah or Justin. One part of her wanted to believe her best friend of six years, wanted to believe that he would never let that happen to his girlfriend. She wanted to believe that he was all good. But the other part of her, the more overwhelming part of her, had a feeling that Hannah was telling the truth. Everything she had heard so far was true, and she hadn't even gotten to her own tape yet. Because, why would a dead girl lie?

"Because, we all go down." Justin tried to defend himself.

"Well, if Porter finds out who planted the drugs, we'll all go down further." Nessa spat, grabbing her things and leaving Justin and Zach in the room.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐬. hard chapter to write. please see the resources in the first chapter of this book if you are struggling, and remember my dms are a safe space and always open. take care of yourselves!