Bully Me

Chapter Seventeen

Oakley Carson

I threw up. A lot. That's all I know, as I strip out of my nasty clothes and get into the shower. I'm at the hospital, and I woke up throwing up.

I step under the sprayer, cleaning myself off. It's kind of hazy, the shower and getting dressed. The clothes are a little big, so I'm assuming they are Axton's. I don't mind that though.

After cleaning up I go back into my room, seeing Axton with wet hair and clean clothes. The bed I was in is also cleaned up and Axton is sitting at it. Before I can ask anything, a sharp pain surges through my neck. I gasp, gripping the base of my neck. And it hits me.

Ford fucking marked me.

My eyes meet Axton, and he's getting up and clearing the room.

"What's wrong?" his eyes flick over me.

"He marked me?"

"Yeah" Axton hesitates, but nods.

"Y-you don't want me anymore" the words slip free, and my wolf loses his shit. I fall to my ass, and curl up. The rejection, the idea of being marked without permission, the idea of my mate never marking me all hits like a fucking truck.

A sob works its way through me, and my whole body starts to shake. My wolf starts to cower, slowly going into hiding.

"I want you" Axton's voice breaks through the fog, and I notice I'm in his lap. He's holding me close, rocking me. "I'll always want you baby. My wolf and i. We want you" he keeps repeating himself, holding me close until the sobs fade and my wolf starts to calm.

But he doesn't come out of hiding. I can feel him, but he's so far away.

"Come on baby" Axton murmurs, pulling me up with him. My legs shake slightly, and my vision is a bit blurry. He hoists me up, forcing my legs around his waist. He walks us to the bed, and sits down with me in his lap.

My face buries into his neck, and i stay like that for a while. I can feel a pull, building between Ford and I. I can feel it. But it's painful. It hurts and makes me nauseous. It doesn't feel amazing and perfect like they teach us.

It feels wrong, and dirty. I feel disgusting. I feel like a part of me was stolen.

It was.

A sob breaks through, and my whole body starts to shake again. I cry for a while, and the whole time Axton rocks me, murmuring sweet words and rubbing my back. I can't stop crying, and I don't stop feeling disgusting. Not even when I pass out.

—

"How are you feeling honey?" Mama asks, sitting on the edge of my bed. I got to come home this morning, which was nice. They're still looking into what can be done about the marking and it not being my mate.

I don't know what's happening with Ford. I didn't ask. As soon as I got home I curled up in my bed, and have been here since.

"Fine, just tired" Of living. Of feeling so fucking broken.

"You gotta talk to me, or mom. Someone baby, because you're not fine" she slides up my bed, laying down beside me. "What happened isn't okay. It's a form of assault, and that's not right. You're allowed to feel honey."

I turn completely on my side, facing my mama and she does the same. She rests her hand on my arms, and I let the tears build in my eyes, and I take a deep breath. "I feel disgusting," i admit, testing it out.

"I can understand that" Mama whispers, and she rubs my arm. "When I was about your age, right before I met mom I had some sort of assault happen. We aren't gonna get into it, but I felt so... gross. I didn't feel like me. I felt like I was someone else, and I didn't feel at home in my own body. But I learned something. It took me a while. But it isn't your fault. It'll feel like it is, but its your brain telling you one thing"

"You can't control other people. It wasn't your fault, Oaks. He is a messed up person, who did a messed up thing. It's not okay. But if you let him destroy you, you're letting him win. And people like him don't deserve that" Mama's words hit hard, and tears start streaming down my face.

She pulls me into her body, holding me close. "It's okay honey" she whispers, "It's gonna hurt, but we will get through it. I promise"

"What if he doesn't want me anymore?" the words croak out of me. "What if I can never be marked by him? What if we can never complete the bond?" my voice cracks, and sobs wrack through my body.

"I don't know babe," she admits, rubbing my back. "But he does want you. He stayed with you at the hospital, he called us an hour ago and asked to come over, he cares babe"

I sniffle, and push myself into a sitting position. "Do you think he will come over..?"

"He doesn't need to if you dont want him here" Mama says.

"I-I do. Can you ask him to come over?" The words are weak, just like me. But mama nods, kissing me once before leaving me alone to my sadness. I know it's likely our bond, but being around Axton right now makes things at least bearable. I need that.

—

It's been two days since I left the hospital. Axton's been going to school, and then he comes right over and holds me through the night. He even spends the night. Most of the time I'm crying, or staring at the wall.

I haven't really slept. I haven't been able to. Everytime i close my eyes I feel the mark puslate, I feel the pain of him marking me all over again. Axton's been really.. Sweet. He holds me, and offers to make me food. When I decline he seems upset, but he doesn't push.

I haven't showered, and the only time I leave my bed is to use the bathroom. I've drank some water throughout the two days, but barely. I ate once, and it was a couple crackers. But then I got nauseous and couldn't hold it down.

I threw up, which didn't feel good. We're on day three now, and Axton just got here from school. He comes into my room, setting his bag down and making his way over to the bed. "Hey baby" he whispers, as he climbs into bed.

"Hi" I whisper, my voice quiet and weak. I feel so weak. So disgusting. He slides in bed behind me, wrapping his arms around me. He holds me close to his body, his free hand playing with my hair.

"How are you feeling today?"

"Same as before" I murmured, my eyes flickering over the wall to the window.

"Do you want something to eat?"

"No"

"Do you want to shower? I can help you "His voice is soft, and sweet. I shake my head no, burying my face into the pillow. Tears start to build, and Axton climbs over my body, laying in front of me and pulling me into his body. "It's okay baby. I'm here. Everything is gonna be just fine"

He murmurs the words he's been saying ever since this has started. My heart aches, and my head hurts. I'm never gonna be enough. If he can't mark me, if we can't fulfill our bond, what do we really have?

We have nothing.

"You should go" the words leave my lips, a lie. I don't want him to go.

"Why?" he asks, the hurt obvious in his voice.

"Because I can't offer you anything Ax. I have nothing to give you. He stole it from me" a sob works its way through me, making me shake.

"Baby" he whispers the word, pulling me on top of him. He sits up, me in his lap as he cups my head. "You give me so much. Just being here with you. We don't know if you can be marked again, and if you can't? That's something we will deal with when the information comes. But either way, I want you. I'll always want you. I'll be here as long as you let me Oaks. I want you "His words are raw, and they hit me hard.

I sob into his neck, and he holds me for a while. Maybe an hour? But then when i've calmed down, he asks if i want to shower again. This time I took him up on the offer. 

..........

Idk what to do with this anymore :(. Poor baby just gets hit with one thing after another. I'm so happy Axton is sticking by him. He caused him a lot of pain, but im happy to see he's sticking through. 

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