Steps to happiness

Chapter 1

       On a hot summer morning, two years after Emanuel had disappeared without a trace from her life, she was nestled in the canopy at the back of the house, sipping a cup of coffee as she watched the sun caress her face with the rays, and made her golden curls shine. In front of her lay a sea of colorful roses that made happy the guests' eyes every time. Her thoughts were full of pain. The birds were starting to chirp and the sun was getting hotter and hotter.

     There were times when loneliness overwhelmed her, the fact that she lived alone in a huge bed, without someone to caress her hair and outline her face. Her thoughts were only on Emanuel. She was the only one she could accept in her life.

        The room was empty, and her soul was torn to pieces. She didn't understand why she had walked out of their lives without any explanation. There was a silence in the house that was full of pain. Every corner of the house was filled with memories. On the bedside table next to the bed there was still their favorite wedding picture. She could see the happiness on their faces. An arched smile lift up their faces, and in their eyes you could see the flame of love, in their big eyes that emanated purity and happiness. With trembling hands, Emily sat up , taking the frame. She was trying to keep the tears from falling, but she knew it was inevitable. The pain was too much. Tears began to stream down his pain-strewn cheeks. As she looked at the picture, memories began to flash before his eyes, memories that were like arrows that pierced his still pained soul. Her husband was everything to her, and that wasn't going to change.

         Many times, after Hope fell asleep, she would sit on the bed, looking at the little girl's face, catching glimpses of Emanuel's features. She had to leave that room quickly so that Hope wouldn't see the tears streaming down his cheeks at those moments. It would have been too cruel for her childish soul. It would have been unfair to cause her suffering at such a young age.

       Time passed, and the pain became more and more deafening. Instead of suffering, reality intervened: it was just the two of them, she and the miracle that God had blessed her with. She decided to continue his life. She had loved, and still loves Emanuel, God was her witness, but she was aware that the little girl could not live in the past. The main reason she had been driven away was that Emanuel didn't want Emily to tie her life to him, to a husband who was sick and unable to take care of himself, as he thought, although, God, she wanted so badly to be side by side. It didn't bother her in the least. He was the father of her child. In those moments, the heart began to beat in an alert rhythm, she could no long control the tears that lined her face.

        After a few minutes she was interrupted by the crying of little Hope, so she hurried up the steps, her heart racing. Her steps were getting bigger and more pressing, and the way to the room was so long. Once she reached the room, at which point the door was quickly opened, Emily's heart seemed to stop. Hope was sitting on the edge of the bed, sobbing, her small, frail body seeming to fall apart. She would get out of bed and run into his mother's arms, wrapping her little hands around her neck.

      — Mommy! Mommy! I had a nightmare! You're not going anywhere, are you? Don't leave me alone Please! Hope said in a tearful voice, as if feeling what was in her heart.

       These words were sharp to her heart. She never thought those moments would come. Her tears flowed in torrents, and her heart seemed to be tortured by those words that Hope spoke.

        Clearing her throat and wiping her tears with the palm of her hand, she took Hope in a hug. She looked at her tenderly, hugging her to her chest, caressing her golden curls like the rays of the sun. She was trying to give her all the love she was deprived of. Her  wish was  having supernatural powers to stop seeing her daughter suffer. She was a strong woman. Life was a teacher who managed to make her understand that she had the role of both mother and father.

       She was tall, blonde woman with big curls that attracted all eyes, she was above all a strong woman, sure of herself, always beautiful, but it was as if now she was only a shadow of what she was in the past. When she walked into a room wasn't hard to see. All eyes were on her.

        "I'm not going anywhere, my soul! Here I am, next to you" , she whispered to the little girl's ear, gently caressing her soft, silky hair. She was looking out the small window in the room at Heaven, as if begging the divinity to give him strength while Hope buried her face in her chest. It was as if he wanted to never let her go.

           "I have an idea," Emily said gently, giving her a big, warm smile. How about I go make some delicious pancakes with jam, pancakes just the way you like them?"

             "Yes Yes Yes!!!" Hope said with a voice full of excitement, smiling sweetly at her mommy, forgetting everything for a moment."

             For a moment, she managed to forget that nightmare, making her smile with all her heart, that sincere smile a comfort to her heart. She was getting off the bed not before you kissed her forehead warmly once more, letting her sleep a little longer. She left the room slowly, not before looking once more at her treasure, whispering to her with a broad, gentle smile:

         "I love you, my Hope!" after that, she slowly left the room, going down to the kitchen."

        Her heart was beating faster and faster. Emily felt helpless in the face of life's difficulties, but she would have done anything for her hope, for Hope she would have moved mountains if it was necessary.

         After a few minutes, her thoughts were interrupted by the sleepy voice of the miracle in her  life. He saw Hope standing to the kitchen door. Emily smiled

            "Hello, sunshine."

            " Hello Mommy!" Hope said with a calm voice, her small mouth arching into a sincere and pure smile.

              "Are you ready to eat those delicious pancakes I promised you?" she said gently, smiling at her with all the heart and taking her in arms.

              "Did you really make pancakes?" she said with a big smile on her face making Emily smile back.

              "Look! With apricot jam, just the way you like it" , he told her with a soft voice, caressing her hair that was bathed in the sunlight. After you eat we have to go to your friends daycare for fun because mommy has to go to the office and auntie Amelia doesn't come until four o'clock so you don't really have a choice, Emily said in a low voice .

             In those moments, Hope felt a claw clutch at her little heart. She left the table, and crossed her arms in protest, scrunching up her face, scowling at her mother.

             "No! I don't want to leave home!" she said in a determined tone. I want to go to the office with you. I want to stay with you as long as possible, mommy. Don't take that away from me. At that moment his eyes filled with tears, unable to hold back. where is dad I want daddy! she continued to scream, stamping her feet hysterically.

            "Hope, calm down!" "You are not behaving properly for a young lady," Emily said gravely, unable to control herself.

          " I want to my father's! Why isn't he with us?" Hope said in a tearful tone, pain shooting through her small, frail body, causing her to burst into tears at times.

         Emily taked his face in her palms, then wiped away the tears that lined his sad face.

           " Well, we're going to stay together this week, but just for an hour I'd like you to stay at Aniela's house, to go and make my vacation application. This week is just for you, my love" , she said with a sweet voice, gently contouring her features.

           "Just for an hour, that's all?" she said sulkily, arching an eyebrow and stamping her foot on the floor as Emily smiled heartily.

             " Yes love. Only for an hour, that's all. I promise you" , saied with a sweet and loving tone, kissing her forehead, taking Hope by the hand and leading her to Aniela.

                Aniela was so happy to see Hope, so they started playing together, at which point Emily finally had a peace feeling.