The Lavender Butterfly

Chapter 15

“There you are!” Stella said as we walked out onto the beach, toes buried in the hot Florida sand. “Olivia!!!” Chloe bellowed as she came running straight towards me. “I’m collecting seashells, look at what I’ve found so far!” She showed me her bucket, which was half filled with seashells. “Good work, so far, Chloe!” I said, praising her. “Let’s go find some more!” I said, running toward the shore. “My mom really likes you. She told me that can’t wait to spend the rest of the summer taking us do all sorts of fun things.” Chloe said to me, while bending over to put more seashells in her bucket. “I’m looking forward to spending more time with you guys as well. You seem like a very nice family.” I replied warmly. “Your mom’s really nice too. We’re pretty much family, you know.” What she said hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn’t want to think of Meredith as my mother. “My mom?!” I blurted out, catching myself before I exposed myself any further. “Well, yeah,” she replied. “She did adopt you, right?” “Well, I haven’t known her for a while, so I haven’t really called her my mom yet,” I replied, covering up my tracks. That statement was partially true, at least. She was right though. She has become a sort of mother figure to me the past couple of days. I felt weird even thinking about it. “Oh okay,” she said. “Have you ever met your real parents?” she said. I had to think about what I was going to say next carefully. I shook my head no. “I’ve been bouncing around in foster care pretty much my whole life. I never knew my parents.” I replied. “Yeah, I know what you mean,” she said. “My dad left before I could meet him. He left us when I was a baby.” I knew this wasn’t entirely true. Her father didn’t leave her when she was a baby. He stuck around until her toddler years, but I understand that she probably didn’t even remember him. “AHHHHHH!” she shrieked as she dropped a shell in the sand. “Oh no, did it bite you?” I said, examining her index finger. “No, it just scared me,” she replied. “That’s a hermit crab, you should probably leave that shell. It’s his home, after all.” I spoke. Talking about this mother and father talk got me to think about my parents. My father died quite a while ago, but my mom is still alive and well for sure. I hadn’t thought about it, but she would never see me again, as her son. I started to tear up, realizing that was eventually going to find out that she had lost her son. “What’s wrong?” she said to me inquisitively. “It’s nothing,” I replied. “Ooh, look!” I said, as I pulled a large, beautiful multi-colored shell, half buried in the sand. “Whoa, that’s a big one!” she spouted. I took a closer look at it. It was perfectly symmetrical and pristine. Not a single chip or blemish. “Chloe,” I said, placing the shell in her hand, “I want you to have this. Consider it a symbol of our new friendship.” “Wow, thank you, Olivia!” she said, giving me a big hug. I don’t think I’ve ever talked with her this much before. I usually spent more time with Evan, as we had a lot more in common. I really enjoyed my newfound friendship with Chloe, though. “Speaking of Evan, I should probably go find him and spend some time with him as well.” I thought. I wanted to make a good first impression with him too. I sauntered through the sand back up to the bench where Meredith and Stella were seated.  They both appeared to be deep in conversation, with a very forlorn look about them. I wasn’t sure what they were talking about, but whatever it was, they stopped talking as soon as they saw me approaching. Their demeanor completely changed as I approached, both greeting me with a smile. “Hey Liv,” Stella said. “We were just talking about you.” “What were you saying about me?” I said with a sly smile. Stella grinned ear to ear. “Come here, you,” Stella said as she overwhelmed me with a big hug. Stella could be intense at times, but I already knew that. “Now I know why Meredith wanted to adopt you; you are a wonderful little lady,” she said to me. “Chloe already looks up to you like a big sister, too.” She continued. I smiled back at her. “Chloe is so sweet,” I replied. “Have you seen Evan around?” I continued. “He’s over at the batting cages on the other side of the boardwalk,” she said. “He seems really down today, maybe you can cheer him up, I know I couldn’t earlier this morning,” she continued. “I’ll try,” I said as I made my way to find Evan. I advanced toward the batting cages, where I observed Evan taking some very aggressive swings with a very irritated look on his face. “Hey,” I said. “Hey,” he replied. I watched him take a couple swings. He was swinging angrily, the aluminum bat cracking loudly as it contacted the ball. On the third pitch, Even swung wildly and missed, as he and his bat spun around. Evan groaned loudly. “Do you mind? I’m just trying to get some swings in here,” Evan said to me frustratingly. “I’m sorry for bothering you,” I said as I began to turn away. I turned back around and looked back at him. “Just curious, and you don’t have to answer me, but what’s wrong?” Evan tossed his bat down and stormed towards me. “You know what’s wrong with me. You did this,” he said to me angrily. “I did this?” I replied, surprised. “Yeah,” he said. “He left…because of you!” I paused, looked at the ground and took a deep breath. “Look,” I replied. “You can blame me all you want, but he left because he was scared. He got cold feet. Meredith told me as much. I don’t know if he’s coming back, but I can assure you that none of this has anything to do with you.” Even looked back at me with a blank expression. “And another thing Meredith told me,” I continued, “is that you meant a lot to him.” He looked back down at the ground. “He…..was like a father to me…” he said. “We talked baseball to each other, showed each other drawings, and talked about pretty much anything.” I stepped back, staggered by what he just said to me. I knew that he enjoyed spending time with me, but I didn’t stop to think that he looked at me as a father figure – one that somewhat filled the void after his father had abandoned him. At least my old self. “You’re from Chicago, right?” I said to him. “Yeah, why?” he replied. “Cubs fan or White Sox fan?” I asked. “Cubs fan, of course,” he answered. “Good,” I replied. “The White Sox stink!” Evan laughed. “They sure do!” he replied. “You’re a Cubs fan too? Where are you from?” I shook my head. “I don’t really know where I’m from, I don’t really know who my parents are. I’ve bounced around foster home to foster home. Ended up here in Florida. At one of my previous places I lived, someone gave me a Cubs hat and I wore it all the time. We’d play pick up games out in the yard and I’d always wear my Cubs hat, so I guess I’ve always liked the Cubs.” Evan looked at me somberly. “That must’ve been a tough life. I’m sorry you didn’t know your parents, and that you’ve never had a place to call home.” He continued, “Look….I’m sorry I yelled at you. It’s….none of this is your fault.” He handed me his bat and batting helmet. “Do you want to take a few swings?” he said to me. I smiled. “You bet I do,” I said. He smiled back at me. I put on the helmet and took a few practice swings. I felt in the zone. Like a fish in water. I settled in front of the plate, waiting for the light above the pitching machine to flash. The pitch came, and I hit a screamer back to the other side of the net. I hit pitch after pitch after pitch gracefully. I didn’t feel like I had as much power as I did before, but that’s understandable, seeing as I was now half the size as I used to be, with a lot less muscle mass. “Wow, you’re really good,” Evan said to me. “I mean, for a girl, at least,” He continued. I quickly turned toward him, “What do you mean, for a girl?” I retorted. “I….um….uh,” he stammered nervously. “I just meant to say…. that you are the best…..girl…..ballplayer I’ve ever seen….” I smiled, amusingly. “Thanks,” I said. “You’ve got a pretty good swing, too,” I replied. His face lit up like a light bulb as he smiled at me. “Why is he looking at me like that?” I thought. “Hey Olivia,” he said to me. “Hmm?” I replied. “I think you’re pretty cool. I get that Chris probably isn’t coming back. I’m just glad I met you, so I have someone to talk baseball with.” He said to me. “We’ll always have that, right?” I replied. He nodded. “And who knows, maybe I can teach you a few new things about the game?” He continued. I smiled back. “I think I can teach you a few things, first,” I said artfully, as I grabbed my bag and started to walk away. “Chris….” I thought. I looked in my bag and noticed my phone and my old wallet. I could not continue to keep carrying this around. “Hey, where are you going? Evan hollered at me. “I’m just going to walk along the beach. Why don’t you go join up with your family? We’re all going to be heading up to the boardwalk soon.” I called back to him. “Right, I’ll see you later!” he said. I walked alone to the edge of the water and slipped my sandals off. I set my bag down and l laid back in the sand, feeling the waves wash up gently onto my feet and thighs. All at once, I felt at peace. I know my life had been turned upside down. Evan mentioned to me that Chris probably wasn’t coming back, but I knew the truth. Chris was gone forever. I was Olivia, and that’s just who I was, and who I was going to be. And for once, I felt okay with it. If anything, I had gotten a new lease on life. I felt like I was starting over. In a way, I was. I grabbed the wallet, took the $115 cash out of it and put the cash in my pocket. I took the wallet in my hand and charged into the water and lobbed the wallet into the ocean with all my strength. I went back into my bag and grabbed my phone. As soon as I picked up the phone, it began to ring. It was yet another call from work. Without delay, I sprinted to the short and hurled the phone deep into the ocean. I feel like I tossed it a mile. I calmly walked back to the shore, picked up my bag and started to walk back toward the group. I turned around and took another look at the ocean. My old life as Chris was over. Chris Parker was, in a sense, dead. I felt like a part of me died that day, but at that moment I felt so alive. I felt light as air. I wanted this more than anything. I was Olivia and this young girl was ready to take on anything.