The Lavender Butterfly

Chapter 18

I rubbed my eyes and opened them softly, with my eyelids seemingly the weight of bowling balls. I looked around and found myself in the middle of a shopping mall. The mall was decorated in bright neon colors. A group of teenage boys walked past, wearing baggy acid washed jeans with baseball caps on their heads backwards. A group of girls walked past me, wearing high-waisted jeans, loose-fitting neon-colored tops. Each girl had a lot of volume in their hair, which were tied up in bright-colored scrunchies. There was plenty of hairspray to go around, as I was overwhelmed by the concentrated scent of Aqua-Net in their hair. I felt like I was sucked into a time warp. This had to be in the early 90’s, or late 80’s? I thought to myself how much this setting reminded me of when I was just a young child. I then second-guessed myself; was this a memory of when I was a young boy, or is this just a retro fantasy of a 13-year-old girl and how she envisioned this time period, as it was long before she was born? I didn’t even know who I was anymore. I found myself confused by my own existence. I became aware that I still had 36 years’ worth of memories crammed into my 13-year-old mind. This image bewildered me to my very core. When was I born? Where am I from? What have I been doing for the past 13 years of my life? I had all of my memories, but to the outside observer, I had no past. I was a blank slate, suddenly breathed into existence at the age of 13. I thought that maybe I could take advantage of knowing all that I learned in 36 years of my former life. I felt like I had things figured out when I was thirteen, and now here I was, thirteen again, with far more life experience than I should have at my age. I further took inventory of my surroundings. I noticed a late 80’s bubble gum pop song playing over the speakers in the mall. The music started in soft, but gradually got louder and louder until everyone in the mall started to dance along. I had to laugh, as this was as close to a stereotypical view of the late 80’s could be. Suddenly a girl reached out to me from the crowd. “Come on, let’s dance!” she said to me. I blinked my eyes and shook my head and I saw Meredith hovering over me, smiling at me. “Come on, let’s get a move on!’ Meredith said. She had the same 80’s bubble gum pop song blasting from my Bluetooth speaker. It appeared that she had just gotten out of the shower, as she was wearing her bath towel around her and had another bath towel wrapped around her hair. She grabbed me by the hand and pulled my sleepy body out of bed. I stood there, still waking up, as I let out a yawn and stretched out my limbs. Meredith was incredibly perky and cheerful, as she was dancing along with the music and singing into her toothbrush as if it were a microphone. I’ve always loved her quirkiness, and mornings like these remind me how much I absolutely adore said quirks. “Are you gonna dance, or what?” she said to me with an exuberant smile. I returned the smile and took her hand as we danced along to the song. We sang the chorus of the song together loudly as she twirled me around the hotel room. We then exchanged glances and we both burst out with laughter. As we both caught our breath, I looked at her and smiled. “I love you so much,” I said to her as I embraced her tightly. “I’m so happy you’re a part of my life,” I continued. “I love you too, dear,” she said to me, overcome with emotion. “Oh, stop, you’re going to make me cry!” We both laughed warmly as I buried my head in her chest. I never wanted to let go of her. I wanted to stay in this moment forever. I felt an overwhelming feeling of love and longing for Meredith. Somehow, I’ve never loved her more. Our roles had entirely changed, we were no longer husband and wife, but more and more, it felt like we truly were mother and daughter. I thought about how lucky I was to have a woman like her in my life. I looked up at her face and we both smiled at each other, as I saw a small tear run down her face. “Why don’t you go get into the shower and get yourself ready for the day? We’re going downstairs to join the others for brunch in about thirty minutes” she said. “Okay, I’ll be as quick as I can,” I replied as I walked into the shower.