The Lavender Butterfly

Chapter 20

“Meredith, what time does the gala start?” I asked, in a half vegetative state, watching cartoons on the television. She poked her head out of the bathroom, putting on her dangling deep blue teardrop earrings in. “We have to be down in the Atlantic Ballroom at six, and it’s almost 4:30,” she replied. “That sounds good, looks like we have a little time to kill,” I said. Meredith poked her head back out and stared at me in amusement. “My, I can tell that you don’t have much experience being a woman, do you?” she said while starting to laugh. I laughed in reply, “No, not really!” “No, in all seriousness, you must start getting ready. You haven’t even begun to get dressed yet!” I was still wearing the same tee shirt and capris I wore to brunch. She stepped out of the bathroom, all made up, with eyeliner and ruby red lipstick. She was also wearing her favorite dress, her long flowing silk burgundy dress, with ruffles around the top. I recognized the dress fully well. It was the dress she was wearing when we went out for our anniversary dinner a year ago. “You remember what day it is, don’t you?” I nodded solemnly. I honestly forgot it was our tenth anniversary, but I remembered the instant I saw her in that dress. She looked absolutely stunning. However, the occasion rang a bit hollow now that I wasn’t her husband anymore. I suddenly felt myself overcome with sadness. I thought I had accepted my new reality as a young woman, however I was still holding onto the past in some circumstances. This was one of them. It was our tenth wedding anniversary, and suddenly I had no reason to celebrate. I thought about our wedding day…...seeing her walk down the aisle with her father, and locking eyes with her after not seeing her the entire day, laughing with joy after I kissed her, having the first dance at the reception, stuffing cake in each other’s faces as we cut the cake……all of these memories came crashing into my psyche like a bag of bricks. I broke down in tears. “I thought……I thought we would be together forever…” I said, wiping away the tears. She started to cry, as she embraced me. “Listen sweetie, you know that we will be forever…. I will always be here for you, okay?” she said as she kissed me on the forehead. “I love you,” she continued. I started to tear up even more as I held her tightly. “I love you too Mo---Meredith,” I said, sincerely, but quickly correcting myself. I’m sure she had to have picked up on my slip-up, but neither of us wanted to acknowledge it. The truth was that she was becoming a mother figure to me. We were surely both aware of it, but I didn’t think that either one of us was willing to accept that reality yet.  “Look, we’re going to have to get you ready on the fly, we don’t want to be late,” she said, changing the subject. She reached into the closet and handed my lavender dress to me. I stripped my clothes off frantically and slipped into the dress. I was quickly reminded how good it felt against my soft skin. Meredith smiled at me. “It looks so perfect on you,” she said. She pulled out her makeup kit. “Come sit, we have some work to do,” she continued. For the next half hour, she treated me like I was her own personal doll. She put blush on me. She put mascara on me. She put lip gloss on my lips. She brushed my hair in a way that accentuated my curls. She put some sparking earrings in for me. She even put diamond beads in my hair to make my hair sparkle. “There,” she said, “Come take a look!” I looked at my reflection in the mirror and just about cried. I never thought I could look so beautiful. It was all so overwhelming. “You look absolutely gorgeous,” she said. “No, no, no, don’t start to cry, your mascara is going to run,” she continued, picking up on my show of emotion. “Oh, one more thing,” she said, reaching into her purse. She reached in and pulled out a small box. She handed it to me. “Open it,” she said. I opened the box and looked inside. There was a silver necklace with a heart-shaped pendant on it. The heart has small diamonds in it. The sparkled radiantly in the light. I looked at Meredith and smiled. “Thank you,” I said. She smiled back at me and said, “I picked the necklace up when we were at the mall the other day. I know that you are not my husband anymore, but…” she placed the necklace around my neck and clasped it in place. “…I just wanted you to have something that would you embrace the beautiful girl you have become. And also, I just wanted to give you something to remind you of how much I truly love you.” I smiled and embraced her affectionately. She leaned over to me. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?” she said to me. I just simply nodded yes. I don’t think I truly was ready, but I don’t think I had a choice at this point. Seeing at we had five minutes before the gala was scheduled to start, I slipped on my flats as we quickly made our way down to the ballroom.