Before Descended Afternoons

13

Trigger Warning: SA, violence

His eyes were full of lust. Both were shouting unquenchable thirst and lechery darting on my being.

It was scary. That was the first thought that came to mind as I stared at those.

I couldn't recognized him anymore. He slapped me. My head hit the wall. He gripped my jaw, his eyes... his eyes mirrored Pa. With those eyes of his, recollections of how my father hit my mother sank in my head.

He claimed my lips with so much concupiscence, it was as if he'd been dying to do that for too long. I couldn't do anything but shake my head, while his arms trapped me so I couldn't move my body.

I pushed him.

"Don't you ever do that again, asshole!" He pulled me by the hair and slammed my head to the vanity table.

My sight got blurry. He continued doing my body dirty. I was eaten by darkness. When I opened my eyes, I saw him lying on the floor, lifeless with multiple stabs on his body. The blood gushing in every laceration made me want to vomit, its drench grazing my nostrils while my gaze got engulfed by its deep red color.

Napabalikwas ako mula sa pagkakahiga, hindi makahinga. My heartbeat was erratic. I was catching my breath. It was one of those nightmares I've been having.

I turned my head to the couch beside me and was only greeted by an absence of the person who was there before I fell asleep. Bakas pa r'on ang pinag-higaan niya. Pero wala siya.

He left. I didn't know what's gotten into him that he did that without waking me up. He just disappeared, and a tingling feeling of frustration is poking my well being as the day goes on. Although, wala naman akong pakialam sa kung anong gusto niyang gawin sa buhay niya. It's his life. He has the decision to decide on that. If he decided to be stubborn and go continue his belligerent life, that's none of my concern anymore. I did what I could do last night. I treated his wound and that's it. Bahala siya sa buhay niya kung makikipag-basag ulo ulit siya.

Nakakunot ang noo ko na pumunta sa sapa na sinasabi nila, hila-hila ang leash ni Cooper na nakasunod sa likod ko at inaamoy ang daan.

I don't understand why he had to go and engage in fights. Yes, a lot seem to plant grudges on him in this town and maybe there's a lot more of that from when he was still a juvenile offender but isn't it a basic part of life to at least go for a different direction? Wala namang bayad ang pagbabago. Kahit ganun ang nakasanayan niyang buhay, hindi naman labag sa batas na pwede kang mag-iba ng landas.

We can't just keep on taking the same path. If he had experienced that before, then it's time to go and experience the other side of what life has to offer. This is like his second life after being trapped in that place. He should at least spend it in a good way. I don't really care.

I shook my head. It wasn't my business. Sino ba ako? I think I'm being insane. Why would I even think about that man's life? It's out of my grasp.

Sinipa-sipa ko ang mga maliliit na bato na nadaanan. I hope I won't get lost. I decided to just follow the path the helpers told me to walk on. It's my second day here in the farm and nothing seemed to be going on my way. I haven't achieved any of my goals for being here, and I hate that I am feeling this way. Maaga pa naman. Hindi naman siguro ganito magtatapos ang stay ko rito. I still have five remaining days to spend. I should chill.

I put my hands on my waists, took a long, deep breath, and then blew air. To my disappointment, I got lost on my way. I came across two paths, and when I chose the one going to the right, it only directed me back to the farm. Bigla na lang sumulpot sa harap ko ang bahay kung saan ako nagising matapos malasing. 
 
No one seemed to be home. It was dead quiet there. If not for the sound of the animals, it would be the deafening silence that would conquer the surroundings. I walked towards the house and knocked, although I knew no one was inside.