Burn To Ash: A Star Trek Fanfiction (Spock x OC)

Chapter 11

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This chapter contains mentions of physical abuse. If this topic is sensitive for you, please feel free to skip this chapter. If you are currently or were in the past a victim of abuse of any kind, know that you are seen, valued, and loved! If in the event you are in immediate physical danger, call 911. Resources for abuse victims are listed here:

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233 (If you are unable to speak freely, text BEGIN to 88788.)

Counseling Services: BetterHelp, GoodTherapy, House of Ruth, etc.

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After what seemed like an eternity, and after several attempts to pry my heavy lids open, I finally woke up in a room with white walls---the Medbay. I slowly sat up, at which point my eyes felt like they were burning with the rage of a thousand suns due to the bright lights of the room, and I covered them with my hands. Slowly, my eyes got acclimated to the room, and all I was left with was the question of what had happened.

As soon as I allowed myself to ask that question, I began shaking violently. I remembered the dueling pistol, the burning house, my fainting on the bridge. I hugged my knees tightly, and without my consent, some tears fell down my cheeks. Suddenly, I heard footsteps coming into the room.

"Ah, looks like Sleeping Beauty's woken up," McCoy's gruff voice said in a joking manner. I shut my eyes tightly to stop any more tears falling. I would NOT make myself look like a baby, not after fainting in his arms just a short time earlier. His footsteps drew closer.

"Hey, hey now, what's this? What's this? You've got the shakes, sweetheart?" he asked in a gentle voice, sitting down next to me. It was then that I realized he was calling me "sweetheart," which was a term of endearment my father had used for me. More tears threatened to spill at that realization, but I managed to keep them at bay by shutting my eyes tighter. I nodded in response to McCoy's question.

"Ah, I see. It's because of what happened today, isn't it?" he asked. I nodded again. McCoy was silent, then put a hand on my back, rubbing circles into it.

"You're awfully tense, sweetheart---you're as stiff as a board. Just try and relax for me. Just relax, sweetheart," he soothed as he rubbed my back. Gradually, I relaxed a bit, though I was still shaking somewhat.

"There you go. Good girl," he murmured in a fatherly manner. A shiver ran through me at his calling me "good girl," but I said nothing. It was a nice feeling, one that I hadn't had in many years...but why did McCoy care so much? Why was he talking to me the way he was? These questions swam around my mind for a few moments, and I was still mulling over them when the door opened. I looked up and was met with the soft smile of Kirk and the contemplative gaze of Spock. Kirk walked over to my bed.

"How's the patient?" he asked, trying to clap a friendly hand on my shoulder. As his hand was coming down, I remembered how angry he was in Trelane's house, and how he reminded me of my old foster father. My memories flooded me like a river, and all I could see was Victor Corbett. I flinched away from him, earning me a confused look from Kirk and an eyebrow raise from Spock. I tried for what I hoped was a reassuring smile.

"I'm fine, sir. Thank you."

Kirk once again gave me a soft smile, though Spock still remained behind him, looking at me, as though he were trying to figure out a puzzle. He gestured to the bed, silently requesting to sit down. I nodded, and he sat down, still keeping that same soft expression on his face.

"Ensign...I care deeply for all of the members of my crew. I don't view any member of the crew as expendable or worthless. That's why I've come to see you. I've noticed a few behaviors of yours that I'm a bit...confused about, let's say. I'd like to talk with you about them, if you're well enough for it," he said in a calm tone.