You're Mine Only

We Need to Talk About MaKayla

     "So who's Makayla?" She unbuckles her seatbelt turning to face me. 

      I take a deep breath, preparing myself for a a traumatic flashback.

     "I met her, in the beginning Sophomore year, she was new to our town and I was one of the first girls she befriended. In a way I'm grateful for her, she made me realize that I was lesbian but she took advantage of that fact. She lied to me about how lesbian relationships work and manipulated me into things I didn't want to do. She was toxic not letting me talk any other girl even my friends causing me to lose most of my friendships. She verbally abused me and encouraged me to hurt myself, I even remember when she watched me cut my thigh, laughing at my tears. But the breaking instance was when she took my virginity. I remember the night all too well. I was in her car after a party she made me go to, I was wasted only after a bottle of beer. I could barely open my eyes but I could feel her shoving her fingers in and out of me. She had long nails with little trinkets on them. I just remember telling her 'stop' constantly I felt the tear run down my cheeks. She only stopped when she was satisfied and she drove me home. I woke up and I walked to the bathroom and seeing my underwear with spots of blood on it. Suddenly I recollected all the moments from last night and I broke down. I finally grew a backbone and broke up with her and soon she moved away but she left me with so much trauma, I had nightmares almost every night my grades slipped, I shut everyone out. My parents got so concerned they sent me to a shrink but I still wouldn't open up. It got so bad I almost committed suicide one night, Zachary was actually the one to stopped me, I almost got sent to a psych ward when my parents found out. My brother vouched for me so I decided to tell him everything, he's the only one who knows about this, until now of course."

    I bust into tears gripping my chest, I felt like my heart was going to bust out my body. I rub my wrist in a frantic motion and rock like a was coddling myself. "I'm sorry, I haven't said that before out loud. I can't- I can't breathe. T-t-take me home I can't breathe." I sob even more, my breaths becoming shorter. My ears start ringing, and my vision starts to blur. 

     "Salem, Salem, it's okay, just breath." 

     "Take me home! I can't breathe." Jade grabs my hand squeezing it at a constant pace like a heart beat. "W-what do I do to calm you down."

     "Call Zachary, he knows what to do." My world starts to fade and I could feel myself blacking out. I almost passed out until I heard Zach's voice on the phone. 

     "Salem? Salem? Salem answer!"

     "I-I'm here."

      "Good, okay. Now count the Abc's backwards." 

      After minutes of mumbling I speak up, "What now?" I breath hard sweating hard. 

    "Sing the Itsy Bitsy Spider with the hand motions."

     "What? I'm not doing that."

     "Do it Salem, for me."

     I roll my eyes before singing. After a few minutes I a feel myself calming down and breathing regularly. "You good now?" speaks up reminding me he was still on the phone.

     "Mhm, you can hang up now."

     "Wow, not even a thank you?" 

     I scoff and roll my eyes, " I'm sorry, thank you so much I really do appreciate it you know. I'll see you soon, I love you." 

     "I love you too, stay safe Salem." I hear the beep of the phone telling me he disconnected. 

      The car was silent for a while, "Sale-" 

     "Take me home please."

     "No, I need to say what I need to say. I'm so sorry you that happened to you, I know how it feels to be taken advantage of and it's fucking horrible. I'm so happy that you trusted me enough to tell me that. Believe me when I say call me anytime day or night if you have another nightmare, or if you need to talk. You are my world and I don't want you to feel this type of way anymore." She grabs both of my hands holding it in hers. 

     "I would like that now can you take me home?" 

     "Of course baby," She lets go of my hands and starts the car back up.  

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

     "Baby, we're here." Jade shakes me awake, I started to gather my things while I see Jade still sitting there. "Why you still standing there, you're coming inside with me." She sits up straight, coming to attention. "Ok let me get the rest of my stuff." She quickly shuts off the engine, and grabs the rest of my clothes from the back seat. 

     I open the front door leading her with me, "Put the bags in my room and I'll join you later. she nods her head walking to her room while I walk into Zachary's, "Hey Zach." I lean against his doorframe, "Oh Salem, how are you? Are you hurt, what happened you haven't have an attack in months." he jumps up running to hug me, "Yeah, I'm good, I told Jade what happened." 

     "You like her that much? Damn. How'd she take it?" 

     "She took it well, and I do like her that much for a matter of fact."

     "I'm happy you found some one like her, she's good people."

     "I know, I really like her. She makes me feel a bubbly inside, it's disgusting. I'll catch you later ok." 

     "Ok ugly." He let's me go of his grip on my arm, letting me go to my room.

     "Hi, baby," She looks up from her phone and opening her arms for my to jump in. I climb into bed laying on top of her, digging my face into her neck and wrapping my arms legs around her waist like a contractor boa. She wraps around her own arms around me rubbing my back in circles. She grabs a blanket to put over us.

      We laid there for for a second, before I spoke up, "Thank you for making me feel safe, I-I'm very grateful for it." I catch myself before I say I love you. Do I love her? Or is my emotions getting ahead of me. I push those thoughts to the back of my mind, right now I want to savor this moment. I doze off soon after.