Match Point

Chapter 23: I Would Do Anything For You

'Cause I'll be a listening ear
To everything you say
I won't turn away

And I'll listen, open up my heart and must say
That I love you, so

- "I Would do Anything for You," by Foster the People

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Lettie

Alex sat next to me in the booth we had taken over, and I pulled him in to kiss him. I felt so good that my surprise had gone over so well. Alex seemed to be in better spirits, and I was tipsy. I lost track of how many drinks I'd had, but I was having the time of my life with the people I cared about most.

"I still can't believe you're here," Alex whispered in my ear, kissing it sloppily. I giggled and instinctively shrugged.

"What would make you believe it?" I asked, trying to be a seductive drunk, but I'm not sure it actually played out like that.

"Such a loaded question," he let out a low laugh and looked at me with his glassy eyes. I leaned in and kissed him again. I wanted to be normal for a bit and not think about how this scene was going to be posted about or pictured online. I wanted to kiss my boyfriend; I was drunk to the point that I actually thought PDA was okay.

"Did that help at all?" I asked as we parted.

"Actually, no... Can I try?" Alex teased and pulled me in to kiss me again gently.

"That felt very real to me," I told him, and my heart was fluttering. Alex smiled at me and then took my hand, pulling me out of the booth and out to dance with Emily and Kate.

After a bit, I excused myself from dancing with everyone and made my way to the bathroom. There was a semi-long line, and I stood at the end to wait my turn. As I waited, I bopped along to the music, trying to keep my mind off of having to go so badly.

The line moved along. I was three people from the front and from being able to feel human again. The guy behind me stood uncomfortably close and kept bumping into me and apologizing. I didn't really acknowledge it and just tried to focus ahead of me.

"Hey there," he said, tapping my shoulder, his voice low, sounding very intoxicated. "You look familiar."

"Sorry, just here visiting," I said, as politely as I could muster.

I felt his hand on my shoulder, then moved to touch my hair. My heart started to race, and I could feel panic rising in my chest. "Please stop," I said, my voice shaking.

"Come on, don't be like that," he murmured, his fingers brushing against my neck.

"Seriously, back up. Now." I said shakily.

Just then, the door to the bathroom opened, and I bolted inside, locking the door behind me. I leaned against the sink, trying to catch my breath. My vision started to blur, and tears prickled at the corners of my eyes. I realized I was having a panic attack. I could hear people outside getting frustrated, complaining about the line not moving.

I heard a familiar voice outside the door, calming and reassuring. "Hey, is everything okay in there?"

I hesitated, unsure if it really was him. "Matt?"

"Lettie? You okay? Need me to get Alex?" Matt's voice was so calm, and I unclenched the sink, trying to leave the bathroom

I unlocked the door and stepped out of the bathroom, trying to compose myself. I apologized to the line.