Match Point

Chapter 24: Paralyzed

When your blood runs dry
You're paralyzed
It will eat your mind

Did you hold it back?
It comes to you in slow attacks
It's the meanest fire

- "Paralyzed," by The Cardigans

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Lettie

"Bonjour, ma sœur!" Niamh greeted me cheerfully as she stepped into my flat.

"Come in... just putting my boots on," I called out, heading into the living room to finish lacing up.

Niamh was my designated guardian for the day. Although I had wanted to fight with Landon, I let him have his way this time and let him arrange my babysitting with Tom and Callum.

Tom about shit himself when I said it was "whatever" about his plan, basically agreeing to be monitored. He promptly set up a schedule, all while I flew back to London on Sunday.

Tom had set up a schedule to ensure someone would be with me at the shop every day this week and had safe words we should use if we needed to alert him, Callum, or whoever else I was with that day.

Tom took the first shift yesterday, and my Monday was manageable. Tom and I caught up, and there was nothing out of the ordinary. He then forced me to have dinner with him and Violet, which had been way overdue, so I was glad he gave me no choice.

Today was Niamh's day. Despite my dislike for being babysat, I had agreed to this arrangement for everyone's peace of mind. I was tired of fighting, honestly.

We walked to the shop together, and the cool morning air was refreshing. As we reached the shop, Niamh turned to me with a playful grin. "Alright, boss, what's on the agenda today? Where can I work from?"

I laughed, unlocking the door. "Just some last-minute stock updates before we open. It shouldn't take long. You can set up wherever is best for you."

Niamh wandered into the back, setting down her bag. "Fancy a cuppa?" she asked.

"That sounds perfect," I replied.

While Niamh busied herself making tea, I started tidying up and checking the inventory. The shop was quiet; the only sound was the soft rustling of fabric as I worked. I reached up to adjust a display, and suddenly, something brushed against my neck.

I froze, a wave of panic crashing over me. My hand flew to my neck, desperately trying to swat away whatever was touching me.

"Get off. Get off. Get off!" I flailed, shoving my hands down my neck where I felt it touch as if I could rub off the feeling.

My breathing grew rapid and shallow. It was only a leaf that had fallen off the plant next to the display. I felt so stupid, and the tears welled up in my eyes, and I collapsed into a ball on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably.

I heard Niamh before I felt her. "Lettie? What's happening?" she asked, kneeling beside me.

"It's so stupid, and I will get over this... I felt something on my neck," I choked out between sobs. "I thought someone was touching me. I guess having one panic attack after two years just opens the floodgates to them..." I sighed loudly and started to cry harder.

"When did you have the other attack?" Niamh asked gently, holding me.

"Two days ago...while I was in New York. I was waiting in line for the bathroom. It just reminded me of the mugging...and that same feeling just happened..."