Saved by the stars

Chapter eight - time to leave x

Tw for flashbacks to abuse and very slight sh references

Sammys pov
It's the day we are set to go to camp, I've checked my bag too many times to count and Leah has overpacked my emergency bag. I've planned everything from what I'm going to eat to my night and morning routine (which is similar to usual but I have written down anyway). I have watched lots of videos about planes and airports and feel confident I will be able to manage, Leah even managed to get special access so it isn't too busy and I can take time.

Leah's PoV
Although I've got special access in the airport we are leaving an hour earlier than the girls and meeting the England phycologist who we had a video meeting with last week.
I've noticed Sammy is more distant today and I'm wondering whether it's her anxiety making her nonverbal or whether she is just really tired as it is only 8 oclock. She has had her toast and we are about to go.
We have checked her emergency bag is carry on size and have packed her teddy that she seems extremely close to recently. Me and her have matching ones that our gran bought us on her first Christmas, maybe it's a sentimental thing. I get sam in the car and make sure she has her timetable so she knows what is happening when. I also ask her if she has any questions but at the minute I think she's nonverbal.

Sam's PoV
I want to respond to Leah asking my questions but I physically can't. It takes me a minute before remembering dawn had sent me communication cards and she even let me decorate them with my favourite things and colours! So I got out my cards and flipped to the emotions part, I managed to find the one that says 'I'm worried' and Leah nodded asking if I knew why. I just shook my head, it made no sense I knew what was happening, I was prepared, I even had a timetable but I still had that feeling in my stomach that Leah taught me was feeling nervous.
'Hey bug, you don't have to know right now just focus on what you can control, like the games you can play that are in your bag, yeah?'
I just nodded, today had taken all the energy out of me.

Leah's PoV
Sammy seems really off today and kinda out of it but I can't tell whether it's her trying not to go into a flashback or whether she's overwhelmed but before I can answer that question she starts to scream. I pull over straight away and open the door on her side of the car. I stand in front of her and hold her hands so she doesn't punch herself.

Sammys PoV
I don't know why but I feel a bit dissociated but before I can warn Leah I can taste the alcohol on his breath as he shoves me down the stairs and gets the knife out the drawer, this was always the worst one, he started cutting my wrists and legs making sure I could feel pain in every part of my body.
'Safe... brave.... Leah' seemed to break through and I was soon in the car, desperate to hurt myself again but Leah knew what to do.

Leah's PoV
She started kicking and moving this time, obviously this was worse than the others so I started to explain 'hey it's ok, you're safe here. It's Leah and I won't hurt you'
And just like that she snapped out of it but tried to get her hands out of mine so I pulled her into a hug and opened her bag. I had a feeling this was gonna be a long journey.