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Chaper fifteen- day in the life part one x

Tw- ptsd/age regression, slight sh references and disordered eating (not an eating disorder)

Sammys PoV
As I got up, I realised it was five to seven so i went to the bathroom to start getting ready. Truth be told, I didn't want to wake Leah up because I was scared she would be mad at me and I still hadn't put my hoodie back on. When I looked down at my arms I felt really guilty but also like I needed more so I got dressed to cover my arms. As 'out of sight out of mind' but it didn't work very well. I decided to go look at my timetable for today and it said Leah had training so I could do schoolwork for two hours with an hour in the middle of either gym or cooking as Gareth the chef had agreed to let me help prepare dinner, however I wanted to go to the gym intead. I woke Leah up at 7 and she explained to me that I have counselling after schoolwork with Halle and someone from my new school, who she called my 'key-worker'. She said this meant that she would be in charge of helping me with work and day to day activities. I knew I had counselling as I always talk to Halle after school but the new person, whose name I discovered was Sarah, stressed me out. Today was already proving to be difficult but while Leah got ready she let me watch blue planet! Blue planet is one of my favourite shows because it's all about cool animals and all the fun facts about them, Beth calls it boring but I think she just doesn't get animals. When Leah was ready she walked me to the office and me and Halle played the bubble breathing game before trying some reading, we were reading a new book called a Christmas carol, it seems out of season as it is June but Halle says it's good to focus on smaller texts than one big one. As we start reading, there is a knock on the door. Halle tells them to come in and it's Mary.
'Halle can you tell Sarina that I'll be out in an hour, I just need a break'
'Of course Mary, do you want to talk'
'I don't want to interrupt'
'Kiddo is fine, aren't you?'
I nod, 'it's better to get help Mary, I promise'

Mary's PoV
I sat down next to Sam and explained what happened to halle.
'It was too hot and too much and someone asked me why I had long sleeves on, even though it's because I don't like getting stained by grass. It just made me think about it and then I saw a man through the hat that looked like HIM if you remember'
Sam got what i was saying about all of it so she dug through her bag and got out on ice pack, food dye and a bobble.
'Use what you need Mary'
'Kiddo, what's this'
'It's what helps me when I think about doing it'
'Aww baby thank you so I grabbed the ice pack, an old trick Halle taught me for grounding and urges and we just spoke while I joined in with Sammys reading.

Sammys PoV
Mary came in and explained what she was struggling with, although hesitant at first I told her I could go but she said she felt bad for kicking me out. I explained that I can listen and she just let go completely. I understood everything she said and gave her my coping kit for what she's struggling with. While she used the ice pack we went back to reading but somehow I felt kind of dazed.
Halle said 'do you need the bubble game'
I shook my head, unable to talk.
'Do you feel smaller?'
I nodded.
'Ok do you want to do some colouring for a bit?'
I nodded my head frantically.
Mary asked me if I needed a cuddle but I said no because she needed to focus on staying grounded and not looking after me. I got my stuffed animal out my bag and got to work on colouring.
About half an hour later, Mary went to the quiet room and Halle asked me some questions.
'Sam can you talk to me about animals?'
'Cool. Love. Best!'
'Could you read me this book?'
I tried but the letters all jumbled and made no sense.
I shook my head.
'How into the younger age do you feel, like does it just help you feel calm or do you have no control over when you are or aren't in it's
'No. Control.'
'Okay we are gonna carry on with colouring'

Halles PoV
I decided to talk to Leah about this age regression more so she could understand how to help Sammy. I sent her a text asking to bring Sam's food here at lunch but also to keep it plain.

Leah's PoV
Just as I was about to get Sammy for lunch, I got a text from Halle explaining that I should bring Sam's food to her and we can have a chat. I got Sam some fruit as after last night I was sure she would still be a bit on edge. As I walked into halles office I saw manny doing some colouring in, I assumed she would've been doing schoolwork.
'Hey, Leah. Sammys in a regressed headspace right now so I just wanted to show you one of the worse ones. She has no control over when she goes into it, it's when her brain needs protection from trauma so they revert themselves back to the age where they were cared for, no matter how needy it makes them, she can't use any skills past her regressed age either. That's why we stopped reading.'
This was a lot to process.
'Honestly just treat her like she's about 4, that's what seems to work'
So I took a seat next to her.
'Hey baby, do you want some food?'
She nodded.
'Ok can you feed yourself or do you want help'
She pointed to herself, this was like when she goes nonverbal.
When she was done eating I picked up her plate and she flinched.
'Baby I'm not going to hurt you I promise, can you put up how many fingers old you feel right now?'
She put up 4.
'Ok so that makes you a very young child darling, can I carry you to our room?'
She shook her head. 'NO. ROOM.'
'Ok darling I get your reluctance towards the room, how about we go to sarinas office? I need to speak to her'
She nodded.
So I went next door and knocked on Sarinas door.
'Come in'
'Hey Sarina, I was just wondering if we can have a chat about looking after little one, no one else at arsenal really gets it.'
'Of course Leah, my door is always open'
'Ok so she can chat amazingly to viv and most the time to Beth but often shuts down at talking to me about tough situations'
'If I remember from coaching Viv, at the time she was struggling a lot and afterwards was very open about her struggles and helping others. Maybe Sammy finds it hard to talk to you because your her parental figure, not just a sister and her previous parental figures let her down. It seems like she's still a bit scared.'
'That makes sense'
'Hey Mary's in the quiet room let me ask if she can come get her'
Five minutes later Mary pops in, 'anything I need to know?'
'She's in a regressed headspace so she will struggle with stuff like a four year old'
'Ok no problem'
'Thank you so much Mary'
'Right, so Leah. Be honest, how is it affecting you?'
'I mean I only got custody of her like two months ago. And now the ptsd is popping up a lot more but also her autism. It's great she's learning to unmask but I'm still new to it all. And the school basically kicked her out because of her needs'
'That's awful Leah. I know Sammy is seeing Halle but can I put a referral in for you to see Millie, our other phycologist?'
'Sure'
'Leah have you eaten yet?'
'Oh god no, I was worried about getting Sam to eat and about her state, sorry'
'It's ok, so you struggle with eating or does it feel like a chore?'
'I guess it feels like something extra on top of everything else and sometimes I just end up forgetting or neglecting it as it doesn't seem important'
'Leah, you are a top level athlete, I promise eating isn't a chore it's something to enjoy. This is normally for someone who doesn't eat due to weight but should I ask Millie to make you a meal plan'
'If you think it would help?'
' I think it would, it did wonders for other teammates. It just means you don't have to think about what you are having and the chefs can make it ready for you so you can grab and go'
'Thanks sarina'
'Any time Leah, my doors always open'

a/n - this is a longer chapter as I felt it was good to get everyone's PoV of how it affects those around them while also setting up new bonds x