Truths, Secrets and Discoveries

Relationship Problems

Hey, Silver Fans! My life has officially hit rock bottom. My brother gets the news of a lifetime. His birth mother dies and finds out he has a brother, who's black. He was raised by their mother. Which caused my brother to feel upset. His mother couldn't provide him with enough food, and was stressed to the bone. She was so stressed that she couldn't remember her own son's name. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if my brother had a normal childhood. No drama and no problems. I know, we all have problems. But none of them could ever compare to my brother's problems.

I logged off and I just had this feeling. Maybe I should quit the Silver Eyes blog. No one knows who Silver Eyes really is. They just know she's a 17 year old. Maybe I started this blog because it became my comfort zone. I could say anything and no one would judge, because I'm just another person online. I heard my door open and I closed my laptop.

"Hey, Silver."

"Hey, Car. What's up?"

"Nothing much. I just wanted to see how you're doing. I haven't heard or seen you in a while."

"I know, I'm sorry. I've just been busy."

"Does it have anything to do with your blog?"

"How do you know about my blog?"

"Blaze told me. I think he's been trying to get some dirt on you. Why didn't you tell me about your blog?"

"Because I didn't think I'd need to tell you everything that happens in my life."

"I just thought that since we're friends, we'd tell each other everything."

"I have a private life, ok? If I want to tell you about it, I will...when I want to. If I don't tell you everything, then there's a reason. And I need you to respect that."

"I just want to know everything."

"Why? You're not my father. And you're definitely not my boyfriend."

But I want to. I want to be her boyfriend. I really like Silver. She's everything a girlfriend can be. But I don't want to ruin our friendship because of my needs. How did we go from BFF's, to friends who kiss and go on dates?

"We're done here. And maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore. Because this, us, is causing some relationship problems or friendship problems or whatever you'd call it."

"So, this is the end?" Carson asked.

"I guess so."

Carson walked out and I saw him walking down the street from my bedroom window. My friendship with Carson got tested the second we kissed. I blame myself. I was the one who made the move. I was feeling something. It felt like the feeling you get which causes you to cry, I think? Is that what I'm feeling? Sadness? Because my friendship with the one person who never saw me as a pretty face has ended? I felt a tear slide down my cheek. I tasted the saltiness from the tears. I was crying. I guess I never knew what I had, until I lost it.