Truths, Secrets and Discoveries

Learn To Forgive, Learn To Forget, Learn To Love

For days I sat in my room, doing nothing. I guess my family saw my depression as well because they tried getting me out of this room, but it didn't work. I'm the one who ended it with Carson, so why am I the one upset? Maybe because I thought it would become like those 'Fight for love' or some bullshit. I finally found myself and got dressed for school. I got to school and saw Brooke at my locker as usual.

"Hey, I thought of the perfect dress for your next outing with Carson."

"Um...about that."

"What's wrong?"

"Carson and I are no longer friends."

"What? Why? You guys seemed so close."

"That's the problem. We've gotten too close, and it scared me."

"Is this about the kiss?"

"No."

"Then why did you end it? Is this about your blog?"

"Oh, come on! How do you know?"

"Everyone knows. The blog is called Silver Eyes, and you're the only person with silver eyes. Also, some people saw you writing in the library."

"I guess my secret is out."

"Silver, sit down. We're gonna have a long talk."

Brooke and I sat on a bench outside.

"Silver, what is it about your blog that makes it a secret?"

"I kept it a secret because I was afraid my parents would find out about it."

"And what makes that so bad?"

"They want me to be a lawyer."

"Ok, and do they now know about your blog?"

"Yes."

"And what did they say?"

"They said they're proud that I'm their daughter and I should do what makes me happy."

"Ok, and how long has it been since then?"

"Months."

"Ok, now your parents know about the blog. Why did you still keep it a secret? You've kept it a secret because you thought they wouldn't understand. But now they know, what's the point in keeping it a secret?"

"I don't know. I guess I was being extra."

"Yes, you were. Now, on to Carson."

"No!"

"Yes. Why did you end your friendship with him?"

"He wanted me to tell him everything. He wanted me to tell him about my blog. I told him he's not my father or boyfriend. I felt like I was in a toxic relationship."

"How do you feel about ending the friendship?"

"Hurt."

"Ok, now try to think about how Carson feels."

I thought about it, and it all clicked.

"Oh." Silver said.

"Yeah. He probably felt hurt that you didn't tell him about your blog. And do you know why?"

"Because he thinks I don't trust him."

"Exactly. You 2 tell each other everything. Has he ever kept a secret from you?"

"No."

"Now, out of all the secrets you have, how many have you kept from him?"

I counted in my head.

"3."

"And how many secrets have he kept from you?"

"0."

"Silver, everyone has a fear. Your fear is trust, Carson's fear is losing you. You're the one good thing in his life, and he doesn't want to lose that. You're scared that Carson will become like every other guy that even looks your way. You're comparing him to everyone else, and that's not good for you, or him."

"But how do I know he won't hurt me?"

"You don't, but isn't it better to have a friend than to have nothing at all?"

Brooke is right. Every time I look at Blaze, I see a guy who sees women as objects. But when I see Carson, I see a guy ready to fight for my happiness.

"Silver, I know what it feels like to feel like every guy will hurt you. But in my experience, I've learned to forgive, learned to forget, and learned to love. If I can do it, so can you."

"Brooke? Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now go get your man!"

Goes to show that everyone can love, including me.