𝙴𝚚𝚞𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 4 𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 | HAOBIN AU

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 1

ᯓ★

It's early morning at Haneuljeong High School. The sun is just beginning to filter through the large windows of the classroom, casting a warm glow over the desks. Students are slowly trickling in, some chatting with friends, others hurriedly finishing homework. The atmosphere is a mix of sleepy calm and quiet anticipation for the day ahead.

But not for Hanbin,
the atmosphere in Haneuljeong High School is thick with anticipation. It's the day when the scores for the midterm exams are being posted, and students are anxiously milling around the hallway outside the teachers' office, waiting for the results to go up.

Hanbin stands a little apart from the crowd, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, trying to appear calm. But inside, he's a bundle of nerves. His heart is pounding, and his mind is racing with "what ifs."

What if he didn't score high enough?

What if this time, Hao really does surpass him in every subject?

He rubs the back of his neck, a nervous habit he's had since childhood. His stomach churns, and he can barely focus on the conversations happening around him. Even though Hanbin has always been confident in his abilities, this time feels different. He studied harder than ever, pushing himself to the brink, but something about this exam period felt off-like he was always just one step behind, especially compared to Hao.

"Hyung, it'll be fine! Even if Hao-hyung did surpass you, I'm sure you'll get a good score!" Matthew said

"Not helping seokmae!" Hanbin says while biting his nails

Hanbin glances at Hao, trying to read his expression, but as always, Hao is a closed book. The fact that Hao looks so calm only makes Hanbin more anxious. He feels a pang of envy..

how does Hao manage to be so composed all the time?

How does he make everything look so effortless?

How could someone who appeared so indifferent to everything be so damn perfect?

Hanbin hated it. He hated the way Hao made it all look so easy, while he had to struggle for every point, every inch of progress. He hated the way everyone always expected Hao to come out on top, as if it was just the natural order of things.

The door to the teachers' office finally opens, and the teacher steps out with a list of scores. The students swarm around, eager to see where they stand. Hanbin's heart feels like it's about to leap out of his chest, but he doesn't rush forward. Instead, he waits, taking a deep breath as he tries to steel himself for whatever the results might be.

Hao moves forward with the crowd, his expression unchanged, but before he does, he lightly taps Hanbin's arm-a small gesture, but one that speaks volumes. It's as if Hao is saying, "Whatever happens, it's okay."

He thought it would make Hanbin less nervous, but instead Hanbin shrugged Hao's hand off his arm as a way of saying "Don't touch me."

It hurt Hao deeply. He knew Hanbin didn't like that he always topped him in academics. It was clear in every strained smile and clipped conversation. But what cut even deeper was the fact that, despite their rivalry, Hao had slowly developed a small crush on Hanbin, a feeling he despised himself for.

How could he fall for someone that has a deep hatred for him?

Every time Hao saw Hanbin, his heart did a little jump, a flutter he couldn't control. But just as quickly as it soared, it shattered, knowing the hatred he has for him.

It wasn't just the rivalry that pained Hao; it was the knowledge that his feelings were unrequited, and worse, unwelcome. The very thought of Hanbin's disdain made his chest ache with a mix of longing and despair.

Finally, the crowd thins enough for Hanbin to approach the board. His eyes scan the list, searching for his name. His hands start to sweat, and he can hear his heartbeat in his ears. When he finally spots his name, his breath catches in his throat.

He's done well-better than he feared, but... there it is. Just beneath Hao's name, again.

there's Hao's name, bold at the top, as if it belongs there by right. The sight of it makes Hanbin's blood boil. He clenches his fists, a wave of frustration washing over him.

How could Hao keep doing this?

How could he stay so infuriatingly perfect while MY world seemed to crumble under the weight of his own expectations?

The resentment, the bitterness-it all comes flooding back, stronger than ever.

Hanbin's heart sinks. He was so close, but not close enough. His mind immediately starts racing, replaying everything he could've done differently, every moment he might have wasted, every ounce of effort that might have been just a bit short.

Hao notices Hanbin staring at the board, his expression a mix of relief and disappointment. He steps closer, catching Hanbin's eye. There's a brief moment of tension before Hao gives him a small smile

"You did great," Hao says quietly, breaking the silence.

He forces a smile, but it doesn't reach his eyes. The words from Hao feel like salt in a wound, a reminder that no matter how hard he tries, he'll always be chasing after someone who doesn't even seem to care.

Hao knew it was a fake smile, he knows that hanbin tends to have his aegyosal pop out when smiling and that crushed him.

"Thanks," Hanbin replies, his voice sounded disappointed "But... it's not enough."

Hao's expression softens. He understands the pressure Hanbin puts on himself, the weight of expectations that comes from always being second. He's been on top for so long that he sometimes forgets how heavy that burden must feel for Hanbin.

"Hey," Hao says, his tone more serious now. "It's just a score. It doesn't define you."

But Hanbin isn't sure he believes that. To him, the score feels like everything-a marker of how far he still has to go to prove himself, not just to the school, but to Hao as well. The words of encouragement from Hao only add to the mix of emotions he's struggling with: frustration, admiration, and something else he's not quite ready to name.

As Hao walks away, Hanbin's eyes follow him, a bitter taste in his mouth. Part of him wants to shout after him, to demand how he can be so calm, so unaffected.

How can he just walk away, leaving Hanbin to drown in his own self-doubt?

But he doesn't. Instead, he watches Hao disappear down the hallway, the distance between them growing, not just physically but in every way that matters.

Hanbin turns away from the board, the anger he's been holding back threatening to boil over. He can't stand it anymore-the endless chase, the constant comparison. It feels like he's been running in circles, trying to catch up to someone who's always just out of reach.

He stalks down the hallway, trying to find a place to be alone. Every step feels heavier, his mind replaying every moment he's been second to Hao, every time he's watched Hao take first place like it was the most natural thing in the world. The resentment that's been simmering for so long is now a full-blown storm inside him.

Hanbin finds an empty classroom and slams the door behind him. He leans against it, breathing hard, trying to keep the tears of frustration from falling. He hates this-hates how much power Hao has over him, hates how much he cares. He hates that no matter what he does, Hao is always there, just out of reach, both in academics and in something deeper that Hanbin doesn't want to admit to himself.

ᯓ★

A/N

Angst on the first chapter?? That's crazy doing
Sorry not sorryyy 🫶🏻🫶🏻, expect new chapters everyday. Not good at these stuff soo don't judge my writing skills 🙏🏻🙏🏻