𝙴𝚚𝚞𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 4 𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 | HAOBIN AU

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 24

The hallway felt unusually quiet as Hanbin walked beside Hao after their morning classes. Something was off, but neither of them had the courage to address it. The day had started out fine, but now, there was an underlying tension building between them that neither could ignore.

Hanbin glanced at Hao as they walked. He hadn't missed the way Hao had seemed distant today, not in the sense of pulling away, but more distracted, his mind elsewhere. Hanbin’s patience had been wearing thin. The past few weeks had been filled with stress from both school and their relationship. Exams were looming over them, and although Hao seemed to handle everything with ease, Hanbin struggled to keep up.

"You okay?" Hanbin finally asked, his voice breaking the silence.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Hao replied, his tone clipped, as though he was trying to hide something.

Hanbin bit his lip, frustration bubbling up inside him. "You don't seem fine. You've been out of it all day."

Hao stopped walking and turned to face Hanbin. "I said I'm fine. Why do you always have to push?"

"I'm not pushing," Hanbin snapped back, "I just...I don’t get why you won’t talk to me. You're always brushing me off like everything is perfect with you. Meanwhile, I'm barely keeping it together!"

"Maybe you should just focus on your own issues then," Hao shot back. "Not everything is about you, Hanbin."

The words stung, and Hanbin felt his chest tighten. He hadn't expected this coldness from Hao, not after everything they'd been through together. "I know it's not about me, but I'm worried about us! You act like nothing bothers you, like I don’t even matter."

"That's not true!" Hao's voice cracked, a flicker of guilt passing through his eyes. "You do matter, but—"

"Then why are we always fighting?" Hanbin cut him off, his voice rising in frustration. "Why do I always feel like I'm not enough for you?"

Hao stayed silent, looking down at his shoes as if searching for the right words. "Because..." he finally whispered, "maybe you're trying too hard."

The silence that followed was deafening. Hanbin felt like the ground had been pulled out from under him. He stared at Hao, waiting for him to say something—anything—to soften the blow, but Hao remained quiet.

"Trying too hard?" Hanbin's voice wavered, hurt clouding his features. "Is that what you think?"

Hao winced, realizing how his words must have sounded. "Love, I didn't mean—"

"Forget it," Hanbin muttered, turning away before Hao could see the tears welling up in his eyes. He couldn’t bear hearing any more. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I should stop trying so hard."

Without another word, Hanbin walked off, leaving Hao standing alone in the hallway, his heart aching as he watched Hanbin disappear down the corridor. He wanted to run after him, to take back what he said, but something held him back. The weight of his own struggles, his illness, and his guilt over keeping secrets from Hanbin, chained him to the spot.

He sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair as he whispered to himself, "What am I doing?"

ᯓ★

tension between Hanbin and Hao hit its peak. The two of them had been inseparable for months now, going through ups and downs in their relationship but always managing to find their way back to each other. Until that day.

Hanbin had been struggling with the recent exams. No matter how hard he studied, it felt like Hao was always one step ahead, effortlessly topping the class. While Hanbin usually admired Hao's brilliance, the mounting pressure from school, his own insecurities, and the expectations he placed on himself started to weigh heavily on him.

One afternoon, Hanbin sat with his friend, Jay, in the library, stress evident in the way he hunched over his books. "I don’t get it," Hanbin muttered, voice tight with frustration. "I study every night. I barely sleep, and I still can’t catch up to him. Hao just… it’s like everything comes naturally to him. What am I doing wrong?"

"Dude, you’re not doing anything wrong. Hao’s always been that way. You’ve been pushing yourself way too hard. Maybe you need to chill for a bit?"

But Hanbin couldn’t shake the gnawing feeling in his gut. Hao was so perfect, so untouchable. And here he was, trying his hardest, only to keep falling short. The jealousy, though small at first, was growing into something ugly.

Later that day, Hanbin approached Hao in the hallway after their study session, a cloud of frustration hanging over him. He’d meant to ask for help or maybe vent a little, but his words came out harsher than he intended.

"You know," Hanbin started, leaning against Hao’s locker, "it must be nice, being you. Never having to worry about failing. You don’t even have to try, do you?"

Hao paused, caught off guard by Hanbin’s tone. "What’s that supposed to mean?"

"You know exactly what it means," Hanbin muttered, his jaw clenched. "I’m always trying to keep up with you, but no matter what I do, you’re always ahead."

Hao frowned, his usually calm demeanor faltering. "Binnie, it’s not a competition. You know that, right?"

"It sure feels like one." Hanbin’s voice was colder than he wanted it to be. "You don’t understand how hard it is for me, do you? You just breeze through everything while I’m left struggling."

Hao’s eyes softened, but there was a flicker of frustration in them too. "I do understand, Hanbin. I know it’s hard. But you’re making this into something it’s not."

"Am I?" Hanbin shot back, his frustration bubbling over. "You’re the one who always acts like everything’s fine, like nothing ever bothers you."

And there it was—the moment it started. Hao flinched, his own frustrations finally surfacing. "You think I don’t have problems too? Just because I don’t show them doesn’t mean I don’t feel them."

Hanbin blinked, thrown off by Hao’s sudden outburst. Hao, the one who always had it together, was finally cracking.

"I’ve got my own stuff to deal with, Hanbin," Hao continued, his voice quieter now, tinged with sadness. "But I didn’t think you’d be the one to assume I have it easy."

Hanbin felt a wave of guilt crash over him, but his pride wouldn’t let him back down. "It just doesn’t seem like you care, Hao. I feel like I’m always chasing you, and you’re never waiting for me."

The silence that followed was thick and suffocating. Hao looked at Hanbin, his eyes filled with a hurt that Hanbin hadn’t expected.

"I didn’t realize you felt that way," Hao finally said, his voice barely above a whisper.

And just like that, the seed of their fight had been planted. Hanbin had walked away that day, feeling both guilty and justified, his emotions a whirlwind of confusion. He didn’t know how to fix it, didn’t know how to reach Hao anymore.

The distance between them started to grow, not because they wanted it to, but because they didn’t know how to close the gap.

Deja Vu...