Joseph's Journal

May 6, 2015 Tuesday

6:30 a.m.

I woke up just looking at the ceiling. I thought to myself I never want to leave, why can't I just adventure with Joseph. Having sex along the way or meeting new friends. We gotta car, we got the money. We have everything we need. I look over at Joseph and smile, he wasn't awake yet but I knew he loved me. By the way he talked to me the way he looked at me. The way he touched me. The way he made me moan. I knew he loved me a lot, by all his actions. Everything he did around, and to me was a sign. A sign that he was in love with me. Deep in love with me. There is a connection between us that no one else will ever experience because it's our love. No one else's. We will share our love forever and ever. No matter what. Its me and him against the world. The giant world that includes tears, laughter, happiness, and so much fucking more! And it's just so hard to explain because we're all so different! No one can ever feel this way because it's our love, no one else's. I'm glad to say that because well I'm in love with him and no one else.

"Good morning" I hear him whisper.

"Good morning to you too" I reply. I scoot into him and cuddle up with him.

"Damn I fucking love you" He tells me with a smile on his face.

"Don't worry I know that you love me a lot" I reply and I grin slightly.

He rolls on top of me and we start kissing a lot. Then all of a sudden I couldn't breathe so I moved my head to my left side. My hair was covering my neck and he moved my hair just to kiss my neck. I didn't want to go to far until I started moaning. We we'rent even having sex. So why the fuck am I moaning? We go back to kissing and I couldn't breathe again, so I moved my head to the right side of me. He started again. That's when I would put my foot down. I try pushing him off me it didn't work. So I tired licking his face. No response. I then start calling his name. Nothing. I finally then use all of my strength and I get him off. I start yelling at him.

"What the Fuck Joseph" I yell at him. He looks at me and just tilts his head back down.

"I don't know, I tried to stop but I couldn't"

"Oh such an excuse!" I scream back at him.

I get out of bed and put my things together I leave about 100 bucks for him and leave. I jump in the car turn music on and pull out of the lot. Joseph runs out of the motel with just his shorts on. I look at him and I have tears down my face. I put the top down and flip him off.

"I'm sorry Austin, I'm really sorry!" He yells at me.

I just ignore him and leave. I pull into a small lot and just sit there. Crying. I thought he loved me. I grab my phone I plug it into the AUX cord and start playing slow love songs. I then change it to "You & Me (Feat. W. Darling) Bassnectar" Damn I love this song. Damn I'm such an idiot. Of course he was trying to stop, why wouldn't he try and stop? What am I doing? I pull back out of the lot and go back to the motel. I see Joseph just sitting there with his stuff holding his thumb out waiting for someone to pick him up and drive him somewhere. I pull up next to him and get out.

"I'm sorry"

"Yea whatever" He says back to me.

"Look we don't have to date anymore or whatever, but you need a ride back to Idaho"

"Yea so?"

"well don't you want to go home?" I ask him.

"No"

"Why not?"

"Because your not their with me" He sighs

"Well I'm sorry"

"Maybe we can just disappear"

"Really?"

"Yea really" I reply

"Yea"

"Get in"

He runs to the trunk puts his stuff in and runs to the passenger seat. He gets in and then I get in. I put the top down and we go on our way.

"Well we should stop back in Idaho get some more money and then leave. I know exactly when my mom and dad are gone so we can go and get all my dads money" I tell him.

"Okay, sounds like a plan"

"But we can stop in Provo and stay the night"

"Yea okay"

"What will we do there?"

"Bad things maybe?" Is all he says.

12:00 p.m.

We got to Provo and we we're renting the same motel room as before. Once we get our stuff inside the room we go out for lunch at a Little place outside of Provo. We got there and just talked the entire time!

2:10 p.m.

We we're heading back and as soon as the door closed we we're doing bad things. The bed then started rocking and we just went all out. Then that's when I remembered, I hadn't taken my pill recently and we had no condom's. As soon as I realized I was jumping out of bed grabbing the keys and leaving. I drove to the nearest store and bought condoms and some birth control pills. I drove back and handed him the condoms then took two pills. Afterwards then the bed rocked again. What a crazy day.