Joseph's Journal

May 11 2015, Saturday

4:20 a.m.

We finally got to Idaho Falls because we stopped and took a few naps in between. 

"Hey" Said Joseph. He just woke up.

"Hey"

"Can I tell you something"

"Yes, of course"

"Maybe we arn't meant to be" I stop the car and pull off the road.

"What, Why?"

"I don't feel that vive anymore"

"Neither do I, but I feel love. Like maybe we have gotten used to the vive feeling, right? That's a possibility" I say as I'm looking into his eyes trying to cry.

"Just take me home Austin, I'm done with you"

"What" I said with a small screech at the end because the tears we're about to come.

"Take me home, I'm down dealing with you."

"Okay" I said as I pulled back onto the freeway.

We got to his house 30 minutes later. I pulled up and unlocked the doors. As soon as he got out and closed the door and just sat there and started bawling. My eyesight was blurry and I had problems seeing, then my throat was burning. I got home ran inside. Walked to my dad's Vodka cabinet and grabbed his vodka. I opened it up and started chugging it down. It burnt the back of my throat but it was so good. It felt so amazing. I finished the bottle and threw it on the ground. I started crying even more. I walked around the kitchen knocking things on the floor, breaking plates, cups, vases. Everything in sight. I grabbed another thing of Vodka opened it and walked up stairs taking sips as I walked up. I went in my dad's room and grabbed the safe. The pin was 0529 and I unlocked it. I grabbed the money and walked back downstairs. I put things in a bag and ran back up. I grabbed my clothes a suitcase and my mom's keepsakes. I ran back down, opened the door and got in the truck. I grabbed my vodka and started driving. I was crying and it felt like the world was just dying all around me. It was. It was dying. I just lost my special someone for some reason and now I'm gonna disappear. I had grabbed another bottle of vodka and I had a lighter in the truck. I drove to his house and lit it on fire. I stood there. Crying. I got in and drove away. I left and I'm never coming back...