Do You Know Where I Should Go?

Chapter 14

Standing on the bridge in the middle of the pool, I watched Tyrone socialize and couldn't help but question my life. Yes, I'm the eldest daughter of a tycoon. Yes, I get what I want, and yes, I will inherit all the family businesses. But at this age, I still don't have the ability to even understand the basics about running them. Yet, there he stands, effortlessly discussing business strategies, forging partnerships, and negotiating investments. Meanwhile, here I stand, envying him.

The ambient noise of laughter and clinking glasses filled the air, but it all felt distant, like a muted soundtrack to my sudden insecurities. 

Tyrone moved through the crowd with ease, his confidence and charisma drawing people to him. He was in his element, thriving in the very world I was supposed to inherit yet felt so disconnected from.

I sighed, gripping the railing of the bridge, the cool metal grounding me for a moment. The water below reflected the shimmering lights of the party, a mirror to the glamorous life I led but didn't fully grasp.

It was frustrating to watch someone like him effortlessly blend into the crowd, exuding confidence without a hint of awkwardness. He moved through the group with ease, his laughter infectious and his conversation engaging. I can't be like that. Not when the voices inside me are blabbering things like they don't want me, and I'm too young. 

Seeing him made me feel even more self-conscious, as if my awkwardness was on full display for everyone to see.

I thought back to our conversations, the times he had patiently explained things I struggled to understand. He never made me feel naive, yet standing here now, the disparity between us was painfully clear. 

A gentle breeze stirred, carrying the faint scent of chlorine from the pool. I took a deep breath, trying to shake off the negativity. It wasn't his fault that I felt this way. In fact, I admired him for his bravery.

Our eyes met. I quickly looked away, feeling a flush of embarrassment creeping up my neck. Why did I always feel so out of place in these situations? It was wrong for me to feel this way, especially when I had everything anyone could ever want. But still, the insecurity gnawed at me.

I took a deep breath, hoping to steady the racing of my heart.

I found myself walking away from the crowd, seeking solitude under the large oak tree at the far end of the garden. Staying by the shore would definitely make people see these emotions of mine, so I'd rather stay here.  

Tears prickled at the corners of my eyes, and I angrily wiped them away. Why now? Why am I being so emotional all of a sudden? I couldn't pinpoint a single reason...

I sighed deeply, trying to shake off the overwhelming emotions. The night air was cool against my skin, a stark contrast to the warmth of the lanterns and the lively atmosphere I had left behind. The contrast seemed to amplify my feelings of isolation.

I closed my eyes, taking another deep breath, and let the sounds of the garden envelop me.

Maybe I am the problem.

Am I, right now overwhelmed? With what? 

I waited for a moment before I finally braced myself. I scanned through my white dress and sighed. My mother had insisted I change into this the moment Tyrone and I arrived. He had to change too, swapping his soccer jersey for a formal suit.

Tapping my shoe nervously, I tried to shake off the lingering anxiety. The soft rhythm of my heel against the cemented floor was oddly soothing. I took a deep breath, straightened my dress, and decided it was time to head back to the party.