My lawyer {BBANGSAZ}

Chapter 2

Minji

Miss Pham is my trust worthy secretary and she also has experience in the world of law, so despite my discomfort in asking her to be my lawyer, dad insisted that it would be easiest to get her to do so. Why was I so uncomfortable you may ask? 

I'm convinced Pham Hanni hates me to no end. She always has this cold glint in her eyes that screams 'don't mess with me'. I've never seen her smile or show any emotion whatsoever. And she doesn't talk to me unless it's for business related things, even then, she keeps her words to a minimum. To be honest, it's not just me she hates, she seems to hate everyone. Despite this, she still brings me a sense of comfort. She's just like the moon. Cold and distant, but beautiful and comforting. Wait, did I just call my secretary beautiful? Shit, snap out of it Kim Minji!

"Miss Kim?" the very voice of the girl I was thinking about, snapped me out of my thoughts. I immediately noticed how pale she looked and how weak her voice sounded. This was new for her, because she always had the demeanour of a brick wall, emotionless and cold. My eyes softened and I gave her a smile which...she of course didn't reciprocate back.

She bowed and sat down on the chair next to my bed when I signalled her to come over. We sat in silence, the only sound being the hustle and bustle of doctors rushing around outside and the beeping of my heart monitor. I knew I would be the one to have to start the conversation, but to my surprise, just when I was about to talk, Miss Pham spoke up first. 

"Are you ok?" she asked, her usual cold tone seemingly thawing a little.

"Yeah, I just got into an accident," I casually stated. I turned to the girl next to me and she seemed to be blinking back tears. Huh? Pham Hanni showing emotions was so rare I would confidently say that it only happened once in a blue moon, or perhaps as often as a solar eclipse. But I was kind of glad that she was finally opening up. 

Miss Pham remained silent after that and I started noticing the many scars on her arms, her skin raw with the wounds she inflicted on herself as she scratched at it, damaging it. She didn't even seem to notice what she was doing. So with my free hand, I reached out and  gently grabbed the hand that was responsible for the assault. My secretary looked up at me with an irritated and confused look etched on her features. But when I nodded down to her arm, her blue eyes widened in surprise. Yep, she definitely didn't know. 

"Don't hurt yourself," I stated firmly. 

"Why would you care?" she scoffed, her voice trembling a little. She was clearly trying to sound indifferent, but failed miserably. 

"Because you're my friend," I replied without really thinking.

Miss Pham turned to me, her gaze scrutinising yet with a softness that I've never seen in her eyes before. I noticed that her eyes were shiny with tears, a lake threatening to spill over. I inched closer to her the best I could in the bed, and pulled her into an awkward hug. I'm hugging my secretary. A blush crept onto my cheeks as I tried to ignore the rapid beating of my heart.

Kim Minji, what are you doing?

Hanni

My chest welled with a sense of warmth when Miss Kim called me her 'friend'. Did she really see me that way? Perhaps she was saying it out of pity. I looked up at her, trying to decipher the look on her face. My gaze softened when I saw nothing but genuine care and support in those brown orbs. 

I felt tears prick at my eyes, the exhaustion of the little time I had been out of bed crashing into me like a car. Damn it Pham Hanni, you can't be weak, you shouldn't cry now. I was about to turn away to hide my teary eyes, but Miss Kim suddenly leant over and wrapped her arms around me in an awkward embrace.

My body became as stiff as a board and my breath hitched from the sudden gesture. I thought of pushing her away, but for some reason I couldn't. It felt so comforting and warm to be in her arms, I didn't want it to end. The tears I've been holding finally spilled over. At that moment I didn't really care anymore. It was all too much to handle. I melted into the hug, sobbing into her chest, my body shaking slightly.

"I'm here Hanni, it's ok," she whispered, her voice as warm as her hug. Hanni? Were we suddenly dropping formalities now? I normally would've protested against the sudden drop of formal speech, but I didn't care anymore. 

It just felt so painful to even breathe, to have to hear my heart beating. All I wanted to do was sleep and never get up. 

"I don't want to breathe anymore," I gasped, my voice muffled. I don't know why I confessed my suicidal ideations to my boss, when even my best friend Haerin doesn't know. It just felt like I needed to. I just felt like I could trust her. 

"But I want you to," Minji simply said, staring right into my soul with warm eyes.

Silence blanketed us, but this time it wasn't even in the slightest bit uncomfortable. Minji kept her arm wrapped around me as I calmed myself down, my tears drying up. This felt wrong, we were tied together by a professional relationship and this felt like breaking boundaries. But I couldn't bring myself to run away from it. Because it felt nice.