My lawyer {BBANGSAZ}

Chapter 4

WARNING: This chapter contains elements of gore and horror

Hanni

Where the fuck am I? I find myself standing in the middle of an isolated hospital corridor. The lights lining the ceiling were blinking menacingly, confusing the shit out of me. The familiar smell of antibiotics and anaesthetic filled the air, but there was not a single soul. My heart was pounding like there was no tomorrow as fear and confusion washed over me, sending me tumbling into the dark ocean of my own mind. 

Usually a hospital would have a whole tide of nurses and doctors constantly rushing around the narrow halls 24/7. But this one was eerily quiet, sending shivers down my spine. I was about to call out for someone, when I heard the faint click of a lock being turned. Relief pulled me into its arms as I turned to the door that had emitted the noise that felt like the sun on a stormy day. But it was soon replaced with shock and disbelief, causing my heart to plummet to my stomach. 

"M...Mum??" my voice came out as quiet as a mouse, cracking like the dry Earth in a desert.

Mum seemed shocked to see me too, and she gave me that warm smile I missed so much. I ran into her arms, sobbing like a child as I clinged onto her like she was gas in a bottle I was trying to contain, or she was water I was trying to conserve within my palms. I pulled back slowly when she didn't reciprocate the hug.

The warm smile was gone from her face and her eyes were suddenly burning with an inextinguishable hatred. 

"Why didn't you try harder for me Hanni?" she asked, her words as sharp as knives as they dug into my heart. My breath hitched and tears knocked on my door. "You're so fucking selfish, you were too busy trying to save yourself," Mum snarled, gripping my shoulders tightly. 

My eyes widened as I watched her skin slowly peel itself off like wallpaper, falling at my feet, her flesh dissolving into mere blood that created a pool, soaking my shoes and socks. I looked up at her, and she was nothing but a skeleton. With my shaky hand, I reached for her, but the second my finger tips brushed the remains of my mother in front of me, it dissolved into dust.

"This is all your fault Hanni," the dust swirled around me like a tornado, blocking my vision as her whispers of hatred squirmed its way into my ear like an ear worm. I loved hearing her voice, not the words it was utilising. 

Stumbling back, and swatting the dust, I ran down the hall. Tears were streaming down my face like a river, my shoes clunking on the white tiles of the empty hospital, echoing hauntingly . I didn't know where I was going, but I stopped abruptly, my breathing as ragged as mountain tops when I found myself at the reception.

Our car was placed right in front of the closed glass double doors, in a complete wreck, smoke escaping it. The structure that once brought me joy only brought me horror, as I watched the pile of metal combust into flames that devoured it hungrily. 

"Why hello Han, it's so good to see you," my dad's voice sounded from behind me and I turned around, and he was smiling at me with that same smile I last saw on him. My heart broke as he opened his arms for me. But after what happened with mum I was too afraid to run into his embrace. 

When I didn't do anything, he slowly lowered his arms, his eyes darkening. 

"It's your fault I died you know, you clearly didn't try hard enough for me, you don't love me do you?" he snapped, clenching his fists.

"I...I tried! I really did try! I didn't know what to do!" this time I spoke up, my tears falling uncontrollably and guilt drowning me. 

"I hate you," he simply said, as though ignoring my protests. He coughed up blood, collapsing on the floor suddenly, convulsing and making inhumane noises. I slowly backed up towards the door, watching as he started trying to grab at my ankles with his bloody hands.

Both the accusatory whispers from my parents whirled around me.

But one voice stood out to me.

"Hanni, Wake up!"

My eyes snapped open, and I sat up abruptly, tears streaming down my face like a never ending waterfall. I was met with the same smell of the hospital, the white walls and the luminescent lights. 

"N...No! I...I don't w....want to be here!" I cried out, my heart doing a million somersaults in just a mere second, my breath leaving me as I struggled. The scenes from whatever shitty ass nightmare I was in replayed over and over and over again like a broken record. I could hear the faint beeping of my heart monitor that seemed to mock me too. 

I shouldn't be alive. I can't be alive. My parents are dead and I should've died instead. I'm a useless and selfish daughter. I should've tried harder. I hate myself so fucking much.

Without really thinking, I reached for the clear wire of my IV drip, wrapping it around my neck in an attempt to end it all. 

"Hanni!" Minji's voice seemed to break through all the noises in my head, grounding me as I felt her snatching the IV drip's wire away from me, after removing its grip on my neck.

I could only sob and whimper, clutching my chest that was beginning to hurt. I felt warm arms wrap around me, pulling me into a hug. I tried resisting, only reminded of the mocking warmth of my parents' arms, but a voice stopped me.

"Hanni, it's ok, I'm here, please calm down, it'll be ok, you're ok," Minji whispered, rubbing circles on the small of my back to soothe me. "Follow my breathing ok?"

Minji

Once I managed to get Hanni out of the frenzy of panic she was in, she spent almost half an hour sobbing into my chest, her body trembling uncontrollably, her pain evident in her desperate cries. 

I've always thought she didn't have emotions, because that's what she displayed. She never smiled, she never laughed, she never frowned and she never cried. She always had the same stoic ice cold expression and exuded the demeanour of a brick wall. Her eyes were always empty, those blue orbs never holding anything within them. They were dull and empty.

But here she was, crying her heart out in my arms, her cries broken and desperate as though she was trying to communicate something she couldn't. I never thought to look deeper into why she was the way she is. I merely assumed that was just Pham Hanni. 

My heart was breaking into a million pieces with each sob that escaped her, further complicating things for me. This was wrong. I'm her boss and she's my secretary. I shouldn't care so much about her, I shouldn't want to take all her pain away no matter the cost. But I couldn't help it, I just felt like she needed me and I wanted to be there for her.

I wonder if she'll ever let me into that heart of hers. The heart that holds so much pain and secrets, an artwork so enigmatic that even the painter doesn't know what it is anymore.

Hanni, I want to help you, and I hope you'll let me, even if it means crossing the line as boss and employee.

How is it so far?