Ouch: i'm still not over you

I was only-

you're becoming a memory

and it's scaring me

baby 

I was only

 thirteen

filled with glee

so guilty

embarassed

sore

ew

gross

what a shameless whore

I adored you

ew 

even through the doubt

and the fun

only twenty one years

not much 

compared to 

a thousand billion tears

and I still hear 

you in the rain 

echos soft 

and vicious through my brain

manipulated

me 

were you

naive?

or did you want 

me?

I slave over the clues

and ew

you looked at me like that

I wrote a poem

more than one,

in fact

was there proof in my eyes?

my starry gaze?

or did the evidence lie in a child

betrayed?