Marrying Her Alpha

Ch. 2: Afraid

Does the feeling of not being good enough ever go away?

Sometimes it seemed like I was going to get through it, those days I felt so proud of myself. Other times the fear of disappointing my loved ones choked me until I could see nothing but my flaws. And the worst of all is that at that time I was alone.

Not alone physically; The morning after my meeting with Kilma Faustina was with me at all times, and yet, it was as if she were thousands of miles away.

It was okay anyway, I didn't want to bother them with my problems, especially one as silly as my insecurities.

I kept telling myself in my mind that it didn't matter what Kilma thought of me, but what if other pack members also thought I wasn't ready? I would end up being an embarrassment to Almec.

"Did you finish reading your book?" Faustina asked me, shaking my shoulder to get my attention. "You've been staring at the ground for a while. Why don't you grab another one if you're done?"

"I still have half of it left, I'm just resting," I told her, closing the book and placing it on the small table in front of me.

"You're weird, why would you come to the library if you're not going to read?" Faustina leaned against the arm of her chair to get closer to me. "You should do like me and take advantage of every minute, you can't waste time when we only come twice a week."

If only she knew I could come whenever I wanted. Pretending was difficult when my sister was so observant, although nothing compared to the first time Almec let her into the library. That time she almost discovered the truth thanks to my familiarity with the room, luckily my acting skills weren't that bad.

"You're right, but I'm very tired today. I can always take the book with me to read it in another moment," I insisted, faking a yawn to convince her.

"Is it because of the wedding preparations? I can help you if you want, I have many ideas, the most important is to serve ice cream for dessert."

I laughed, "I will make sure to add ice cream to the menu, you can help Demian choose the flavors."

"Of course, there is no one better than me for that task." She left her book next to mine, more interested in the conversation than in continuing reading. "What are you going to do after the wedding?"

"What do you mean? Things won't be much different from now."

I prayed to Moon Goddess that Faustina's response was not one of her strange occurrences. She could come up with such weird ideas that she sometimes left me speechless and she had never asked me questions about the wedding before.

"Are you going on a honeymoon? Khalia said it's like a vacation but for newlyweds. Can I go with you if you go? Wina told me that you two have to go alone but I don't want to stay by myself in the mansion."

My shoulders relaxed when I heard the question. "We don't plan on going anywhere, at least not for now. Almec has a lot of work to do in the pack."

"Like protecting us from the bad guys?" Faustina stood up and walked towards me. She then leaned down to speak in my ear. "I heard the warriors when we were coming back from shopping with Demian the other day, they think another pack killed Almec's friend and that they are coming for us."

"You shouldn't pay much attention to those rumors," I told her, guiding her body with my hands so that she sat on my lap. "It's true that Almec lost his friend but we still don't know what happened."

"Is that why he's sad these days? I know something that can make him happy." Faustina asked me, she had that mischievous smile on her face that only meant trouble.