Sometimes doing what's right for me can also hurt me... I dropped someone who was considered a close friend. We were friends for a few months, got pretty close, hung out, we told each other personal things. The only thing that I didn't notice was that the friendship was toxic... Me constantly being made fun of for things that I liked to do or that I did, them making comments about my clothes, using me for stuff that they needed, them not caring that i also have things to do, me starting to fail my classes as they took my work and claimed it as theirs, them always making a negative comment about something about me. i didn't notice that it started to affect me and my personal life. i ended up changing things about myself, almost changed my whole personality, I became more angry even slightly rude, I changed who I once was because of this.. I changed too much and I kinda just ended up becoming depressed, stressed, and just upset and unhappy with myself. Some people started to notice this and tried to warn me, I thought 'this is a really close friend, they wouldn't do it to hurt me'. Then, the negative comments and insults became more personal.. Making comments not only about me, but about my family as well. These insults and comments started to make me frustrated, and angry, they even made me believe negative things about myself. They started to influence me to do things I promised I would never do, and when I was clearly not interested they still pressured me into it.. once i started to realize this whole "friendship" was just kinda off, i attended therapy sessions to talk about it. During these sessions I would also talk about how I felt conflicted, not sure how to handle it as this "friend" was related to my best friend (they are close cousins) and I didn't want anything to change between me and my best friend. Eventually I decided to do what I thought was best...I slowly distanced myself from this person, although it also meant I distanced myself from my best friend and although it did hurt me in the process, I did it. I managed to block this toxic person out of my life. I noticed an improvement in me. At first, it was hard..I had this mindset that i just couldn't be myself, I felt that being myself was weird and I was scared to be myself again, but i eventually got through it. I started passing my classes, being more like myself and found people who accepted me for who I was and respected my boundaries. My relationship with my best friend did change a bit, after distancing myself due to the fact that my best friend was related to this "friend". I do think me and my best friend are rebuilding our relationship, especially over the summer, she invited me to hang out (with her family/friends), i invited her to my soccer games (i dont invite any other friends to these games). I really hope we can stay best friends for as long as possible.. Obliviously stuff happens and friend come and go but I'm just hoping this friendship can last longer than the last one...
If you read this whole thing,
You a real one 😮💨
thank you :)
I greatly appreciate it 🙏
