𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆, tim bradford

𝟬𝟭𝟭. title of your sex tape

╭── ✿ ❀ ღღ ✿ ❀ ──╮
011. title of your sex tape
╰── ❀ ✿ ღღ ❀ ✿ ──╯

penny and tim were sat in the patrol car while it was pulled over on the side of the road. parked just as it had been for the past ten minutes since tim stopped the car. he'd pulled over to fiddle with the cars radio after it began making strange noises. "okay, and you were born when?" penny asked, looking at the newspaper she'd picked up that morning. she hadn't spoken in a good few minutes after she'd tried getting out to grab her drink from the bag that was in the boot. the man quickly stopped her, insisting that he would be done with the radio in a few seconds.

he was not.

"i don't believe in horoscopes" he commented.

"okay?" penny asked as if her question had nothing to do with the page full of horoscopes she was staring at "when were you born?"

"april 2nd" tim gave in, knowing there'd be no peace in the car if he didn't.

"you're an aries?" she asked, slightly surprised until she had another think about it "actually, that makes sense" the woman nodded. the car instantaneously devolved into silence again, and it was a while before penny spoke again "can i get my drink now?"

"no"

"can you get me my drink then?"

"be patient, doc!" he snapped. at that, penny pulled a pen out of her pocket, leaning against the dashboard to scribble on the page including the horoscopes. she handed the paper to him, making him look down at it.

'you will encounter a very thirsty woman today. she will nag you. get her a drink and she will go away' was written underneath 'aries'.

with a heavy sigh, tim got out of the car with the paper still in hand and slammed the car door behind him. he took a few minutes before reentering the car and forcefully pushing the drink towards her. unfortunately, the lid wasn't all the way on and penny's apple juice spilt over her a little. "dude!"

"i'm sorry" his eyes widened, genuinely apologetic.

"you did that on purpose" she joked with narrowed eyes while simultaneously trying to wipe some juice off of her.

"i didn't mean to get you wet!" he said.

"i didn't mean to get you wet, title of your sex tape" penelope rattled off instinctively, slapping a hand over her mouth after realising who she was actually in the car with.

"excuse me?" tim raised his eyebrows, unamused.

"i- nothing?"

"that's what i thought. what the hell kinda boot makes sex jokes in front of their T.O?" he grumbled to himself, going back to fiddling with the radio.

"it was only a small one!" she justified her joke.

"i don't care about how small it was"

"i don't care about how small it was, title of your sex tape!" she yelled, getting much to excited over a joke.

"seriously?" tim deadpanned, staring at penelope while to giggled to herself, gasping for breath every now and then "would you stop before you spill your juice?"

"would you-" penny cut herself off, trying to take a breath in between her hysterical laughter "would-" she put a hand on her chest to try and catch her breath "would you stop before you spill your juice, title of your sex tape" she rushed out before beginning another round of giggles.

"that one didn't even make sense!" he threw his hand up, frustrated. a small group of people began walking past the patrol car, looking in through the windows, glancing at penny curiously "valentine, quit it!" he tried through gritted teeth "i'm your superior, valentine! doctor, you're embarrassing yourself!" as he stared at her laughing form, trying not to get too embarrassed over her behaviour, he unintentionally began smiling lightly at her "that took longer than i thought" tim mumbled once penny had calmed down.

"you- you did it again!" she cackled, the innuendo winding her up again.

"what?"

"that took longer than i thought, title of your sex tape" she joked before finally calming down enough to start sipping on her drink "that was way better than i thought it would be" penny referenced her jokes as tim went back to the radio.

"that was way better than i thought it would be, title of your sex tape" tim inputted without looking up from the contraption.

"officer bradford! how scandalous!" she gasped mockingly as he tilted his head to look at her smile. the two stared at each other with wide smiles on their faces for a few seconds before tim's phone began ringing

"bradford" he answered, missing the way penny mocked his greeting silently "when? i-i'll be right there" his tone got much more serious before he hung up and turned back to penny "put your seat belt on"

"what's wrong?" she wondered, complying with his request "where are we going?"

"emergency room" he turned the car around quickly.

"that's it? no elaboration?"

"isabel's there"

𐦍 ❀༄𖥸𓍊𓋼𓍊𖤓𓇢𓆸𖤓𓍊𓋼𓍊𖥸༄ ❀ 𐦍

tim and penny arrived at a hospital and headed straight into the emergency department. "stay here" he told penelope before heading towards the reception desk "yeah, I'm looking for isabel fowler? i'm her emergency contact" just as he finished his sentence, isabel came out of a treatment room to his left, groaning when she saw him there.

"i'm fine, all right? they shouldn't have called you" she dismissed him and brushed past, walking straight ahead in an attempt to leave.

"where the hell are you going? you just O.D.'d!" he asked before dragging her into a side room. the door shutting behind them made it so that penny couldn't hear what they were saying but she took it as a bad sign when isabel stormed out and tim ended up punching a hole in the wall.

she quietly stepped into the room, walking up to tim "are you okay?"

"valentine, i swear if you make a joke about toxic masculinity-"

"-i won't..." she assured "do you want a minute?"

"please"

————— authors note 💭

hey loves! sorry for the break, i failed two of my GCSE's so im retaking them soon and i've been busy. i got a B in english and an A* in welsh tho so that's good 🤭 i haven't done my others yet so im still busy

i got the idea to add jake's 'title of your sex tape' thing in from someone else. they said i didn't have to credit them but i wanted to make sure i wasn't taking credit for their idea anyway.

if my phone would let me tag them i would 😭

anyways, i hope you liked the chapter and please comment and vote 💋💋💋

love u byeeeee