Koi No Yokan (gojo x oc)

28. After Graduation

an: thanks for 7k reads 🫶

March 2009
Two weeks later.

Graduation—a thirty minute meeting with all our instructors in which they handed us leather bound certificates, then told us to move out by the end of the month—was lackluster, to say the least. Then once it was over, I found myself unexpectedly saddened, stagnant. I realized there's nothing left for me here, there hasn't been for some time, and there's also nothing to look forward to. No home to make a triumphant return, no family to share this occasion with. Nothing left to do except pack my things and wait for the wind to push me in the direction I should take.

I finish emptying my closet as Nanami knocks on the door, "I've finished packing," he tells me.

"Already?" There's two nights left before we're expected to leave. Most of my things are tucked away in boxes, stuffed into a suitcase, with no destination in mind. The rest are spread out across the floor and piled atop my desk. "Are you sending them home?"

"Actually," he opens the door wide and steps in. "I've been meaning to talk to you about my plan." He says, "I'm going into the city."

"I figured." The routes for Jujutsu are limited, an on-call sorcerer working from campus, a pay for hire like Mei-san or Satoru, or moving back with your clan to work from home. The third option was stripped from me some time ago. "Isn't that why we've been packing all our stuff?" I finish folding the sweater in hand—an old birthday gift from Suguru, blue and soft—and force it into the suitcase. "I'll go with you. There's plenty of places in Tokyo."

"No, I'm moving on from Jujutsu."

I halt my efforts to fold my clothes. "What do you mean?"

Nanami takes a deep breath, lets his eyes focus on the floor. "There's lots of starting jobs in finance that pay well. I've already found a place to put a deposit for rent. It's not much but—"

"You're leaving me?"

"No." He takes a step closer, puts his hands up in caution, hoping to repair a situation that's already been ruined. "It has nothing to do with you, Kaede-chan. It's this life, it's tiring. I have no intention to be like Mariko, we can still see and speak with each other regularly, and if you need anything at all—"

"You're leaving me." I can't think straight. The room has become small, narrowed down to my only friend left, a final lifeline to my humanity, and it's being pulled away, drawn out into the distance until I can't see him anymore. "What did I do wrong?"

"You haven't done anything. This isn't about us."

The air grows thin, pressing out of my lungs at too quick a rate. "Get out."

"What?"

"Get out!" I scream. "GET OUT! Get away from me!" I push him by the shoulders until he's out of the room, then slam the door shut.

"Kaede-chan," he says from outside, "Let's be sensible about this. I'm not leaving you."

Somehow I've crumbled next to the door, cradling shaking limbs. "Everyone leaves." I gasp for air, but can't find it. The room feels so small, humid. There's a deep seeded pain at the center of my chest, pulsating up into my throat. "Breathe," I try to tell myself, "Breathe." But I can't, I can't feel anything other than the overwhelming terror that everyone I love is gone. Dead or moved on. I've given everything to these people, and they've chipped off what they could, now nothing's left. "Is this what it means to be strong?" I think. "To end up completely alone?"

With every shuddering breath, I feel the heartache I've stored away for years in its fullness. I pry myself up from the floor, vision clouded, hips crashing into the furniture that suffers the worst of my outrage. The closet door snaps off the hinges when my foot slams into it, the drawers of my dresser break to pieces when they collide with the wall, the mirror across from it shatters when my fist passes through. My entire room, everything, is destroyed at my hand.