Chaotic Love

Death of Me (NoI)

Have you ever had those weird, sudden, out of nowhere moments—when just everything starts to make sense to you? Like you knew something was going to happen, but you didn't realize it until then?

That's how I feel now in the Halls of Nidra when she says she wants our sleep. Bee protests, and before I can say anything, Nidra adds,

"I have already selected one among you. I want dreams rich with wonder, tinged with sadness, and flavored with hope that will sweeten my land like the rarest of nectars."

My first instinct is to look at Aru, my heart throbbing as I silently pray to all the Gods to not let it be her. Aru has to live. Nidra can't take her.

Apprehension fills me as the pair of eyes settle on Aru and a violet light hovers over her. Aru's expression turns grim, but I can already see the resignation in her face. She is ready to give in. She'd rather Nidra takes her than any one of us, and she doesn't feel regret.

God, I freaking love her.

Realizing this is not the time for it, I know what I have to do. Just like that, everything over the past year flashes in my mind, from the time when I received the prophecy.

The girl you love will be the death of you.

I've thought of this moment too many times to count, but the one thing I distinctly remember is being worried over life.

Right now, I feel no such thing. Because if Aru would put us over her, I would put her over me. Always.

'No' I say firmly, "Not her."

Aru turns to look at me. "Take me instead." I say to Nidra.

"What?" Aru startles. "No way. I can't let you do that."

"I always knew it was going to happen." I tell her. "I'm not scared Shah."

And it was true. I might have been terrified for my life when I first heard of the prophecy, but lately, whenever I thought about it, I felt miserable about getting separated from Aru. It wasn't about my life any longer. It was about being with her.

When I look over and meet Brynne's eyes, understanding washes over her. She looks frightened, her lips pursed, as if preparing for what's to come. She knows. And she understands.

Aru must be demanding answers from her through the mind link, because I see Bee and Mini wince as Brynne must be explaining to her. I hope she mentions the prophecy. I hope she tells Aru what I never could.

Aru turns to face me, but I keep my focus on Nidra, as the hint of violet light falls on me.

"Do you understand what you are doing?" The goddess asks.

"Yes." I answer without a beat of hesitation.

"You understand that my realm is its own form of death."

I clench my jaw. The dread I feel though is not for myself, it's for Aru. To never be able to see her again. I steady myself and nod, "I know."

"You have always known, haven't you?"

I would be lying if I say I haven't. Somewhere in the back of mind, ever since had Sheela asked, "Even lifetimes later?" I could only picture one person.

"You understand that you will not be returned to the waking world if there is no world to wake up to."

"I understand." I say finally.

"What does that mean?" Bee asks frantically. "He's going to die?"

Brynne, Mini and Rudy look stricken, their expressions full of terror. BB gives a soft chirp and looks at me.

"What is the point of returning him if there is no chance of a world worth returning to?" Nidra asks. "Whether he dies or not depends on you, daughters of the gods, for it is your world to save, is it not? And if he does die, that in itself will be a blessing. To die in one's sleep is the hope of all mortals. You should be thanking me."

The only blessing I care about is that Aru is safe. Because if I am being honest, a world without Aru is not a world I want to wake up to.

"You are running out of time. Make your choice now or be thrown from my world." Nidra urges.

Before any of the others do or say anything, I say: "I accept." My voice echoes through the halls, as if a signal my offer is accepted.

I now face Aru.

"Aru." I call to her. She looks shocked by the sound of her name. "I can't let you do that." She says.

"It wasn't your choice to make, though," I tell her, attempting a smile. "It was mine. You'll find a way out of this, I know it. Watch BB for me, okay?"

Tears slip down Aru's face, and somehow, watching her cry is worse than having to sacrifice myself. To watch her in pain.

Even less than a foot apart, it feels like an invisible force is separating us. The glowing light has almost overshadowed everyone, with only patches of darkness visible.

I look Aru in the eyes. I reach for her face, my fingers slipping in her hair. "I lied, Aru." I say, the words releasing me from the burden I'd carried all this while. "I don't regret anything."

Just this once.

"Wait—" Aru starts, but I cut her off with a kiss.

It might only be our second, but it felt we'd done it forever as we set the pace. It was filled with both hope and hopelessness, with both pleasure and pain. It could've been eternities while I stood there, trying to convey all the things I couldn't. To say all the things that were left unsaid.

But I know one of us has to be the one to pull away, to be the stronger one, for now.

And abruptly, I feel an eerie sense of bliss. Because I now know that love is.

And this, my love for Aru, is the kind of love that is worth fighting for, living for, and dying for.

As I turn to leave, I steal a glance of Aru, silently saying the words:

Maybe, when we reach the end, we can finally start again... 

NOTE:

So, these were all the Aruden scenes from the series. I hope you liked Aiden's POV in this one, it's by far my favorite chapter.

I'll be posting a couple more chapters, which will follow these two when Aiden confesses to Aru (like in words) and these two officially get together. Those will be the last chapters.