Chaotic Love

Confessions Part-I

A couple weeks have passed since the war against the sleeper has ended. It seems like nothing and everything has changed at once. My friends and I still continue our training meticulously, courtesy of Mini, who has sort of become Boo 2.0 at the time.

Everything seems to have changed for the better. Everyone is getting their version of happily-ever-after. Brynne and Hira got together a few days after the war (no surprise there). Mini and Rudy (or his dark benevolent queen, as he calls her) have been going on not-dates, but they might as well be dating already.

Meanwhile I am stuck with my feelings here, like the pathetic loner I am. Brynne has threatened me too many times that she would tell Aru everything if I don't make a move soon. I told her that I was only giving Aru some time. On the bright side, I no longer denied what I felt towards Aru. I loved her, and I knew she was the one for me. For the longest time, I was worried about what I felt. That was when the prophecy was looming over my head like a guillotine, and when I didn't even believe in things like love. I had seen my parents' lives, and I didn't want to end up doing something stupid for a love that didn't last.

That, however, was before.

Before I fell in love with Aru. It was terrifying at first, to come to that realization. Using the key in Home Depot had only made me more aware of the fact that I didn't just see Aru as a friend, as I kept reminding her. I tried to suppress my feelings, to no avail.

When the Sleeper took Aru, I spent long nights worrying over her, thinking about what she was doing. If she was being fed or not. If she was being hurt. Those thoughts filled me with a rage I'd not thought I was capable of.

And when she returned, tired and weary and hurt, my heart clenched at the sight of her in such a condition. That was when I knew I was falling for her.

I spent months avoiding her, to the point where she thought I hated her, as she told me on birthday. I hated myself for making her feel that way, for making her feel unwanted. But I was terrified, and I didn't want to die. Though my actions didn't quite match my thoughts, considering I couldn't stop myself from kissing her. In my defense, she looked gorgeous in the lehenga, glowing with a regal aura, as she carried herself like a queen.

Later on, I might have told Aru that I regretted kissing her, but it was all a lie. I could never regret anything when it came to her. But as the lyrics of my song for her said, I had too much pride to admit it.

Our last quest together was when I finally came to terms with the fact that I loved her. She might've hated me, and I didn't blame her. But I knew about myself. And I knew that my feelings for her were real. Everlasting. It was funny how I didn't believe in any such thing before, and yet I believed in everything when it came to Aru.

It was because of this that I didn't feel a shred of regret or doubt as I sacrificed myself in the Halls of Nidra. I knew she was it for me, and I believed in her with every fiber of my being.

The only thing I want to do now, is to tell her about how I feel.

I've also come to terms with the fact that she might not feel the same way about me. I had been a jerk to her for months, lying and pushing her away because I was a coward. But I know the uneasiness in my heart won't go away until I've spoken my heart out to her.

Rejection is bad, but regret is the worst.

I took a deep breath, and steady myself as I knocked on her door.

Today is the day.

NOTE:

Continued in Part II. That's when they'll talk.