Do You Know Eva?

Do You Know Eva- Chapter Fifteen

Do You Know Eva?

 

-Chapter Fifteen-

-Acceptance–

I knew the day would come; there was no denying it, no putting it off. It would have been a typical school day; I would be sitting in her class now. I kept on saying to myself, its okay Eva; it’s not for another three days… two days… tomorrow. But some time it had to come, whether I wanted it to or not. But today I couldn’t think of myself. Today is the day; Jones’ funeral.

          There is a deafening silence as the coffin is lowered into the ground. I was expecting sobs, but the numb feeling has taken over everyone’s emotions. This was not expected. It was not supposed to happen, not to a thirty-something, small town, high schoolteacher. She died the way she lived, helping others. The church bell begins to ring, slowly. There is a slight drizzle, it wouldn’t be Rivendale if there wasn’t. Jess wraps her arm around my shoulder; my eyes water up. There’s something about another person consoling you that makes it even harder not to cry. Maybe it’s because it is an open invitation to cry; its okay if you cry, I’m here for you. The priest throws the first shovel of muck on top of the grave. Jones’ mother bursts into uncontrollable sobs. Her husband rests his head against hers. To my left, Susan stands. I was surprised to find that she was waiting for me when I got up this morning; she was wearing her black dress. She actually looked… beautiful. Her blonde hair is a refreshed golden, she had gotten it done the day before, and it hangs in thick curls to her neck. She takes my shaking hand.

“Its okay baby,” she whispers to me, “I’m here for you.”

Jessica, too, takes my hand. It’s okay to cry.

The crowd at the funeral travel to the local bar, which is also a hotel. A toast is said for Jones. Her mother shares stories about her daughter, all of them happy. Jessica sits opposite me, watching me laugh, smile. Susan takes hold of my hand once more.

“I’m going to get a drink, you want anything?” she asks.

“Mum, you can’t. You’re supposed to stay off.” I remind her.

“It’s okay Eva, I can control it now. And besides, it’s for a toast. It’s disrespectful if I don’t.” she replies. She walks to the bar and Jessica takes her seat.

“You okay?” she asks.

“Under the circumstances… I’m okay, yeah.”

“You know I’m here for you Eva, whatever you need, I’m here.”

“Thanks Jess, I appreciate it.”

On the table next to us, the priest who did the ceremony sits watching us. Jessica caresses my leg and then, lightly, kisses me on the cheek. I smile, knowing all the while that the priest is watching with disgust. I nudge Jessica away. She notices me looking at the priest, she turns around. He looks away, but lets us know that what we are doing is wrong.

          The night continues much the same, there are tears, and there is laughter. Then there are those silences where everyone in the room reflects on their time spent with Jones. Everyone knew her on a different level. Her mother knew her as a daughter, her brother knew her as a sister, and her colleagues knew her as a co-worker. I knew her as a friend, when I had none, she was my friend. As the night progresses I start to notice how many drinks Susan is having. It started with a small brandy and now she is drinking glasses upon glasses of vodka, wine, beer. I knew I shouldn’t have let her. I tap her on the shoulder.