Behind the screen

Thoughts

Kenma's POV:

Kenma left Yuki's dorm, walking through the quiet campus as the morning sun began to rise. His thoughts were a tangled mess, the events of the previous night playing on a loop in his mind. He made it to his apartment, closed the door behind him, and flopped down onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling.

He couldn't stop thinking about the kiss. It had been brief, a drunken moment of vulnerability, but it had ignited something within him that he couldn't ignore. He wanted more. He wanted to touch her, to feel her against him, to go further than a simple kiss. But he knew he couldn't. She had been drunk, vulnerable, and it wouldn't have been right.

Kenma sighed, running a hand through his hair. "What the hell is wrong with me?" he muttered to himself. Why was he even thinking about Yuki like that? She was a college student, someone he barely knew, and yet she had gotten under his skin in a way he couldn't explain.

He sat up, trying to shake off the lingering desire. He needed a distraction, something to take his mind off her. Kenma walked over to his computer, booting it up and logging into his gaming account. Streaming always helped him focus, and right now, he needed that more than ever.

As the screen lit up and he started his stream, he forced a cheerful demeanor, greeting his fans with the enthusiasm they expected from Kodzuken. "Hey, guys! Ready for some epic gameplay today?"

The chat exploded with excited messages, his fans thrilled to see him. For a while, it worked. He immersed himself in the game, letting the adrenaline and focus push aside the thoughts of Yuki. But every now and then, his mind would wander back to that kiss, the feel of her lips on his, the way she had looked at him with those wide, trusting eyes.

It was maddening.

He pushed through the stream, maintaining his cheerful facade even as his thoughts churned beneath the surface. When he finally signed off, he felt drained, both physically and emotionally. He leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

This wasn't like him. He was usually so controlled, so focused on his gaming and his streams. But Yuki had thrown him off balance, and he didn't know how to handle it.

Kenma stood up, pacing his room as he tried to sort through his feelings. He couldn't afford to let this distraction affect him. He had worked too hard to build his career, to maintain the persona of Kodzuken. He couldn't let one girl mess all that up.

But despite his resolve, he couldn't shake the image of Yuki from his mind. The way she had looked at him, the way she had kissed him—it was burned into his memory, and he knew it wouldn't be easy to forget.

He sighed again, sitting back down at his computer. Maybe he just needed more time, more distractions. He opened another game, determined to lose himself in it until the thoughts of Yuki finally faded away.