Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
My 20s taught me a lot about myself. I'd gotten married, gone to college, got divorced, surprisingly made a good career out of being a freelance artist and photographer, and I was a mother. My life had been a series of trial and error and self discovery throughout my 20s, so turning 31 was a big fucking deal to me.
My mama decided that she would throw a huge party. My birthday was in a few days, but an early celebration with all of my family and friends wouldn't hurt. I was looking forward to it at first. My mama threw the best parties. She was the life of the party, and I swear the woman thought she was still 21, so trust me when I say I was looking forward to it, but once I heard that she invited my sister, I didn't want to go anymore.
I hadn't seen my sister since she ran off almost 20 years ago. I spent so many years being angry at her. She was my big sister and I needed her, but she left me and never reached out. As I grew older, I made peace with the situation. There was nothing I could do about it but pray that my sister was safe wherever she was. I thought I made peace with it, anyways, but the day my mama called me crying about my sister being in jail, I just hung up. I didn't want to hear shit about Beyoncé Giselle Knowles.
She'd been out for 3 years, and I still made it my mission to avoid her. I'd heard some rumors through the family about her having a drug addiction and stuff like that, but I chose not to engage in the gossip. I didn't know anything, and I didn't want to know anything. Beyoncé was dead to me.
"You don't look drunk enough to me!" My cousin Angie yelled over the music, shoving a shot glass into my hand.
She was clearly already drunk with the way she was spilling this shot on my hand. I laughed a little and took it to the head before frowning my face up at the burning sensation in my throat. My mama's backyard was packed with family members, friends, and the staff she hired to run the party. She really went all out, and I wasn't even mad. I was having fun and the DJ was playing all of the old school music I loved.
I was dancing with Angie, Kelly, and Michelle, and mingling with all of the guests, but I couldn't stop looking at the sliding glass door on my mama's patio every time somebody stepped out. Each time, I thought I would see my sister stepping into the backyard, but it was just people running in and out of the house.
"Another round for the birthday girl!" Angie yelled, causing cheers to erupt throughout the backyard.
I laughed loudly as one of the bar tenders brought over a tray full of shots. My mama had an open bar for the party, so I honestly didn't mind getting shitfaced. I was about to be 31. This is what it's all about, honestly. After downing another two shots, I felt someone grab my elbow. I looked over, seeing my mama. I smiled widely, throwing my arms around her.
"Thank you for the party, Mama! I'm having a good time," I smiled.
She laughed softly, hugging me back. "Of course, baby. Come inside. I gotta talk to you."
