something slight 😩 and no i didn't edit, idgaf.
A. Ealy
Atlanta, GA
"Aww, you had some chubby cheeks!"
I grinned, looking over at my auntie Solange as she flipped through the scrapbook that I made for Mama. After spending majority of the day out, Mama and I decided to come back to the AirBnb to relax for a while before we had to go to dinner with Nicki and her daughter. In all honesty, I wasn't very excited. I was always happy to see Nicki, because I loved her like a mom, but I knew that it would be awkward with her daughter around. I genuinely didn't like her. She was weird, desperate, and rude. I knew that I was rude first, but that girl really had some nerve calling my attitude bad like she wasn't the one trying to steal my damn friends.
Anyway, when Mama and I got back to the AirBnb, Auntie Solange and Auntie Kelly were both back. Auntie Kelly pulled Mama into the kitchen to gossip with her, and I was gonna be nosy, but I ended up in the living room with my auntie Solange, and we started looking through the gifts that I gave Mama.
"Wow, I can't believe that I missed watching my niece grow up. You look so much like my sister in these pictures it's crazy," she sighed.
I stared down at the photos, trying to see whatever resemblance to my Mama that everyone else saw. To me, I just looked like my daddy. I had his entire face, but so far, everybody that saw me and Mama together kept saying that I looked like her. I wanted to believe them, but I just couldn't. I would give anything to look more like Mama.
"Really?" I asked.
Auntie Solange nodded. "Mhm. You look just like she did when she was little, and even now... you look like her when she was your age. I mean, I'm sure you got some of your daddy's features too, but damn. You might as well be Beyoncé Jr."
I laughed a little, watching as she flipped the page. Her eyes wandered over each picture, and I could see the emotion on her face as she stared at the younger versions of me. I hadn't realized just how emotional this one scrapbook would make everybody, but I guess the pain of losing my mama for so many years ran deep, and anything connected to her hurt just as bad. I imaged that Solange would have been a great auntie to me if she would have known me all my life. My mind started racing, and I wondered if I would've been an auntie's girl in the same way that I was a mama's girl when I was younger. I wondered what life would have been like with all of these amazing women in my life from the start. I imagined that I would have spent so much time with my auntie Solange, doing all of the girly things with her and Mama, and maybe I would have spent a lot of my time being up under my grandma. She probably would've had me spoiled rotten, and maybe I would've been a grandma's girl, getting away with every little mischievous thing. This entire fantasy of a life flashed before my eyes, and I didn't even realize I was crying until Auntie Solange had her arms wrapped around me.
"What's wrong, Anna?" She asked, her face frowned in panic and confusion.
"I..I wish I grew up with you and my mama and my grandma," I said quietly, my bottom lip trembling. "Don't leave me, please. I don't want y'all to leave tomorrow."
Solange frowned softly, kissing my temple. "Oh, my baby. I know.."
I wiped my face as best as I could, taking a few deep breaths as I tried to calm down. I didn't want to cause a big scene, because I knew that Mama would eventually come out of the kitchen and start crying too, and I couldn't handle seeing her cry again. I leaned into Auntie Solange, closing my eyes. I just wanted them to stay.
"Please stay," I begged quietly.
I knew that Mama couldn't stay, but I at least needed some reminder of her here with me. I had just met my family and learned what love felt like for the first time in a very long time, and it was already being taken away from me.
