The knight nursery

The new staff member with battle scars

Tw for sh and emetophobia
If you have every had to deal with anything like what is in this chapter remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think! But most of all you are loved more than you will ever know.

I watch as Gareth heads back into our bedroom and closes the door. I go back into the spare room and get myself ready for work.  I couldn't eat this morning due to the bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.  At 6:45 I start the walk to work I couldn't focus enough to drive this morning.  As I arrive at work, I could see Marjorie was waiting for me to open (there had to be 2 members of staff there to open the building) "morning char my love you, ok?" I heard Marjorie call out as she saw me approaching "um morning Marjorie yeah, yeah I'm ok" I said coming up to the building and being in the present moment again.

As we both entered the building Marjorie was looking at me "you sure you're, ok? my love, you look shattered" being quick thinking I responded "um yeah sorry Sophie had me up in the middle of the night her molars are coming in" which also made me think I needed to tell Sorcha or Maddison as Gareth wouldn't think to tell them. I headed to the staff room to drop my belongings off in my locker I decided to message Gareth "morning sweetheart, please can we talk tonight please?" and put my phone in my locker I didn't expect a response till I was on my lunch.

I headed back downstairs to Marjorie's office.  Thinking as I'm walking you need to shake this and pull yourself together, I took a few deep breaths "Marjorie where do you need me today?" I asked smiling even though I wanted to cry "preschool please, you will be working with a new staff member today char, she's Nessa's replacement" I turned and left the office and headed over to the preschool room. At 8 am the new member of staff arrives it was a young woman around 20 years of age with bright pink hair "good morning I'm charlotte, you're going to be working with me today" the young woman looked around  "hi my name is Sylvie" she shadowed me during the morning hand overs with the parents, then I showed her where the breakfast items were to be taken and that is when she asked me a strange question "erm charlotte am I allowed to take my jumper off please? Its rather warm in here at the moment" thinking this was a strange a grown adult asking for permission to take a layer off "yeah of course you can, you don't need to ask for permission" as we headed back into the room Sylvie took her jumper off but kept it close by.

A short while later Sylvie approached me "erm charlotte one of the children saw my arms and asked me what the marks on my arm were" Sylvie looked at the floor as she finished speaking "hey Sylvie its ok I'm here to support you" I replied getting her attention back on me "what did you tell them?" I asked but was also curious, "erm I told them they are the scars of a battle I survived" we both chuckled at the children's innocence "well children's minds are incredible, so to all of them now, they probably think you slayed a dragon" I replied with a smile "ok you think that's ok what I said?" Sylvie asked with an even bigger smile on my face I replied "yeah I imagine you're a hero to all of them now" "thanks" Sylvie replied "your welcome and don't worry you don't have to hide them from anyone here we are all on big happy work family, you won't be judged and if anyone does send them to me or Marjorie and we will set them straight" Sylvie instantly relaxed I could tell she was nervous "thank you charlotte" Sylvie went back to join the activity with the children.

I settled my group with an activity "Summer I will be back in a moment; I just need to have a word with Marjorie" summer was not impressed by being left alone again and especially with the new staff member "you're leaving me again and with her she's weird" it took all of my strength to not tear summer a new one right there and then, but knowing there was already a case building against her I opted to tell Marjorie instead "yes" I said through gritted teeth "I will be back in a moment" "ugh fine" summer replied.

I went across to Marjorie's office and knocked on the door "come in" I heard Marjorie shout through the closed door, I enter and sit as Marjorie finished her phone call.

While I was waiting my mind was elsewhere, I just couldn't shake the feeling something was going to happen "Marjorie I will be back in a moment I whispered" I had to dash to the bathroom I felt like my stomach was twisting and I was going to be sick. I barely made it into the bathroom stall before the bile burnt my throat.  I was washing my face before heading back to the office when I heard footsteps "char my love you ok?" Marjorie came into the bathroom "erm yep I will be back with you in a" I had to quickly dart back into the stall.  My stomach finally settled down after 15 minutes "char my love I will get an agency staff member to come in and cover you for the rest of the day my love, you don't look well" Marjorie said I started to cry "Marjorie no, no please I will be ok, I just didn't eat this morning please I promise I'm ok" Marjorie looked at me again "right I will give you half an hour and then if don't look any better you're going home". We headed back to the office Marjorie closed the door as summer was watching through the window "here char I can replace these, try and eat some of these please?" I noticed Marjorie had headed to the 'Carly emergency' drawer and pulled some digestive biscuits out, I gladly took them my stomach was hurting so much.  After I had eaten the biscuits Marjorie, I eventually spoke to Marjorie about what I had needed to see her about and made the complaint about Summer.

I went back into the preschool room and was met with an angry Summer "what took you so long? I've had to do everything for the last hour I was at that point I didn't care anymore "oh I'm sorry Summer did you have to actually do some work, while I was speaking to Marjorie and throwing up" Summer didn't even bother to answer back "yeah that's what I thought" I shouted after her as she stormed off, I looked over at Sylvie and noticed she had put her jumper back on had she heard summers comment I wondered.

There wasn't any more issues till it came to collection time, I allowed Sylvie to complete a handover so she could get the experience. Little did I know it would be Daniels mum that arrived first she had been known to be rather arrogant when it came to mental health issues "evening" she said to Sylvie as she arrived, Sylvie was washing her hands "oh hi" Sylvie replied, "how are you this evening?" Daniels mum was now looking at Sylvie "fine, what are those marks on your arm?" Daniels mum asked "oh erm there just some old scars" things were starting to get a little tense now "you're walking around showing those off" I could see Sylvie getting worked up "no, no I was washing my hands as you arrived" pulling her sleeves back down "you should be keeping those covered up" I could see the tears forming in Sylvie's eyes "I do keep the covered up most of the time" Daniel's mum now getting more  irritated by what was in front of her right now "obviously not enough because I walked in and saw them straight away" Sylvie looked anywhere but directly at Daniel's mum "oh I'm sorry I was just washing my hands" "they should never be on display" Daniel had now approached his mum and was tugging at her arm "Daniel what are you talking about" she asked her son "what do you mean Sylvie's a survivor?" shooting a dirty look at Sylvie "I just said I was in a battle once and I er I won that was all" Sylvie's confidence had come up a little "you've been telling all the children about those, I will be informing the parents about this immediately" Sylvie looked at her confused "why?" she asked but Daniel's mum continued her rant "because it's completely inappropriate ok I will see to it that every single parent of this nursery knows about you and what you are, so they can make an informed decision about whether they want you caring for their child" "ok" Sylvie replied Daniel was still tugging at his mums arm "Daniel stop calling her a survivor ok she didn't survive anything" "well actually" Sylvie started to speak "we're going ok goodbye" and Daniel and his mum left.

Sylvie ran out of the room to the bathroom, I knew I couldn't stay late again I needed to get home and speak to my husband,  I went over to the office and explained everything to Marjorie and asked if she could check on her please,  I explained that I needed to leave on time today as me and Gareth were going out for a date night I had to use something cause I couldn't say why I really needed to get home.

Little did I know a storm was brewing at home.