The knight nursery

What's gotten into Gareth

At 5:30 I finished my shift at the nursery and headed to the office to sign out "Marjorie I'm really sorry to pass the book to you with Sylvie,  but I really do need to leave on time Gareth is taking me out for a date night so I can't be late home tonight"  "char honestly it's no problem, you go and enjoy your night with hubby" I felt bad having to lie to Marjorie but I couldn't face telling her that my marriage was rocky right now, I knew I could fix it I just had to talk to Gareth.

It was a nice and quiet walk home I had messaged Gareth to let him know I was on my way home, just to give him the reassurance that I was being true to my word about us talking tonight, as I arrived home Gareth preparing dinner "hey why don't you, just do the girls something and when they are asleep, we can order something in and talk?" Gareth looked at me confused and sarcastically said "what so we can have a date night like you told Marjorie we were having" I looked at Gareth dumbfounded "yeah she told me charlotte about the date night we were supposed to be having" I was still looking at him completely dumbfounded thinking to myself what has got into him, is he really trying to start this in front of the girls I wasn't letting that go "we will discuss this when the girls are in bed, I really can't believe you right now doing this in front of them" I picked Sophie up and Layla was stood by my legs "come on girlies let's leave daddy to make food and we will go and read a story" "yay story" Layla shouted as I was walking away "whatever" was all I heard from Gareth.

After the girls bathtime I put them to bed Sophie was still a little snotty and rosy cheeked I gave her some teething gel and hoped it would keep her settled for the night, once the girls were finally asleep after 3 different stories because Layla wouldn't settle, I breathed a sigh of relief, but my troubles were only just beginning it was going to be a long night.

I showered and made my way down to the living room where Gareth was seated "can we talk about what's in your head please?" Gareth looked at me and snapped "nothing I'm FINE" shouting the last part at me, I closed the living room door so we didn't disturb the girls "Gareth you are not fine, something is bothering you" I replied calmly "how would you know? you're not here your "work friends" seem to come above me and the girls" he responded I could tell from the tone in his voice that the last few days had been bothering him "I thought you understood the bond I had with Carly do you know how much it took for her to trust me Gareth, she had a serious incident happen, and couldn't tell anyone she needed my support" I took a breath before I carried on "which by the way her support network has grown now because I had to break the promise I made to her and make her tell Marjorie" we were both looking at each other the rage building inside us both "it just seems she comes before your family lately,  oh and your nights out with Marjorie they bother me too what break do I get hmm, I get up I take the girls to nursery" Gareth took a breath so he could carry on his rant "I pick them up and then I'm here till you come home when you're not busy with your "work friends" to take over for the night routine" I was proud of him for being honest with me "thank you for your honesty sweetheart, but we need to sit and talk about this calmly now please" he looked at me and nodded.

I went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of larger for Gareth and made myself a cup of hot chocolate, as I went back into the living room Gareth had sat back on the couch his head in his hands "here you go sweetheart" I said handing him the bottle "listen to me for a moment" I paused till I had Gareth's attention "you talk, I will listen and then we can both talk" I understood his need to get all of this pent up frustration out "but" I paused again "please try not to shout I don't want to wake the girls" Gareth nodded in agreement.

I sat beside him and waited for him to talk "char honey I love you but lately it's as though you're not here for us anymore, it doesn't feel like we are a team anymore" tears had started to flow down his face "I feel like I'm on my own I'm trapped here at home with the girls or at work, we don't have our time anymore because when you come home your head is still stuck at work or on your friends, I'm on my own here and I'm drowning, I've been having problems at work and may lose my job. You told Marjorie that we were having a date night why lie?"  I had no clue and was starting to feel bad after a few minutes of Gareth not talking anymore "sweetheart" I said pulling him into a hug "thank you for sharing how you're feeling I'm proud of you for opening up, I'm sorry your feeling alone but I have been here and will always be here, I'm sorry I've been so distracted with work which leads me to why I lied to Marjorie, I lied because an issue came up and I knew I needed to get out on time so we could talk, I haven't told her about our fight" I looked at him and I could see the sorrow in his eyes "how about we make a plan?" Gareth looked at me confused "we make a plan to allow you time to unwind and have time with your friends or on your own, we set a night for us to have our time so basically a date night I can ask Carly to baby sit and I can arrange with Marjorie for the girls to come in with me a couple of days a week and please promise me, you will talk to me before we get to this point" Gareth looked at me and nodded in agreement I wasn't going to push him about his job he looked mentally and physically drained.  We cuddled and then I allowed Gareth some time on his own "I'm going to head up and read, you stay down here and relax have some more beers and just take some time for you to process what is in your head, but I will be awake when you come up and we can snuggle, I've missed our snuggles" Gareth agreed to take the time for him. 

I headed up to our bedroom as I was passing the girls room, I looked in to see Layla had kicked her covers off, so I went in to cover her back up and gave both girls a light kiss whispering "mamma loves you so, so much" I snuck back out of the girl's room and headed to the master bedroom, picking up my book, I couldn't concentrate on my book what Gareth had said going through my head,  my mind racing, I knew I had been distracted with the girls at work but I had been here, yes I did need to take time when I got home to wind down and process but I would always allow him the same, why did he all of a sudden have an issue with my nights out with Marjorie.

After a while Gareth came up to bed, "hey sweetheart how are you feeling now?" I asked him as I was watching him get undressed for bed "slightly better" he paused "I'm sorry for some of the things I said I was angry and hurting and I'm sorry for trying to cause an argument Infront of the girls" he bowed his head the next thing I heard was "I love you" before he embraced me in a long hug.