An unpredictable summer- ONGOING

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚16˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Saturday the 30th of June

After a successful concert, and almost honeymoon like days, our happiness slowly drains as the funeral takes place. Last night he barely said a word, he probably realised what was coming up.

I did manage to convince him we'll take a cab tomorrow though. I wasn't too stoked to sit on the motorcycle to someone emotionally disturbed.

It's currently 10:06 am, I'm standing in my bathroom, getting ready.

My head is filled with bad memories, I haven't been in a single funeral since my mom died.

I'm straightening my messy hair, as I still don't know how to cut it.

Before my mom, I'd only ever been to one funeral, my grandmother. Lillian Park Roberts. The woman I got my name from. She was the sweetest lady compared to my maternal grandparents who has always been distant. Lillian was the kind of woman who makes a mark on people. A confident, skilful and intelligent woman.

*riiiiing* the doorbell rings.

I straighten out my black long sleeved dress and plug out the hair straightener before running downstairs grabbing my bag and phone as I pass the kitchen counter.

The kitchen is dirty and the sink stopped working again yesterday. That will have to be a problem for future me.

I leave the house as it is and get to the door.

"Hi" I say with a slight smile when I open the door.

I hadn't noticed the rain before studying Tyler. His hair is soaked, and his shoulders are covered in rain.

"Hey" Tyler replies. Forcing a smile that is almost painful to watch.

"Didn't have an umbrella" he explains, answering the questionable look on my face.

"I see, I can grab one for you. Come in"

When I have the umbrella I ask him "are you ready?"

The look on his face tells me he just wants to run away. A feeling I'm really familiar with.

"Sure." He says unbelievably.

I walk up beside him and reach my hand out between us. He considers it before grabbing it.
And so we walk to the cab, hand in hand.

The funeral

It's still raining when we arrive to the church. It's a beautiful church. Too beautiful to hold such sorrow.

There's surprisingly many people here, probably 200 hundred or more.

I'm still walking hand in hand with Tyler when we walk towards the church under my umbrella.

No words are said until we reach a giant oak tree on the side of the path.

"Lillian" Tyler says, stopping by the tree "I can't do this. I really can't."
I step closer to him, so that we both are protected from the rain pounding on the umbrella.

I force a smile, "yes you can."

Tears are forming in the corner of his eyes now.

"I don't know how I'm supposed to face him, or not him because he's fucking dead." He dries a tear with the palm of his hand. "But my family. I turned my back to them during my brother's death! It was unbelievably selfish of me"

I run his shoulder. "It wasn't selfish Tyler. You didn't know he was doing this bad. I'm sure they'll understand"

"No. No they won't. They'll never forgive me. You don't understand, Leo was the glue in my family. You don't know them, We don't fit together." He's sobbing now. "And now that he's gone, they'll never forgive me for disappearing."

I hug him, holding my hands around his neck. The umbrella is hanging downwards by my hand and so the rain flows down on us.

"You don't need their forgiveness Tyler. This isn't about them. This is about your brother. About Leo."

Tyler burrows his face in my shoulder. And I'm sure if given the chance, he would like to stay this way forever. But I know we can't. So I pull back.

He dries his eyes and our fingers interlock once again as we continue towards the church.

I suppose i was aware of sit with Tyler on the first bench, but I'm still pretty surprised. It's such a strange feeling, to sit on what many would agree is the worst place to sit in a funeral but still have no connection to the boy in the casket standing before me.

When we reach the bench, a man with short black hair and a woman with dark auburn waves is sitting in silence, but they both stand up when they notice me.

His parents

They're beautiful people, in their fifties probably. The man is wearing a black tuxedo and a big silver clock in his wrist, the woman wearing a long float black dress paired with gold jewellery.

"Mom, Dad" Tyler greets "this is Lillian, a great friend of mine"

I swear I notice his dad rolling his eyes, but I decide to ignore it. His mother reaches her hand out.

"I'm Clarissa, nice to meet you." She smiles a smile with barely any emotion.

I greet her and moves on to his dad.

When he hesitates Tyler interrupts "Don't be a dick dad, just shake her hand." giving his father a look.

"Tyler! Language!" His mother yells out. Looking at him like he's a child.

his father does eventually shake my hand, but its clearly involuntarily.

Off to a great start...

We then sit down beside his parents, Tyler sitting closest to them.

I haven't really looked at what's standing in front of us so I look up.

A white casket with delicate patterns on it is standing in the middle of a sea of flowers. All in neutral pastels. Not far from the insane amount of flowers is a picture of him.

I study is face. So this is Leo Thornes.
He's similar to Tyler. They both have their mom's hair and the tiny freckles on the nose. However Leo is clearly more similar with his father based on his features. Whereas Tyler is almost a copy of his mom.

it's sad to look at him for too long. So I look at Tyler who has his eyes glued to the casket. Reaching for his hand I stroke his thumb.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

He looks at me. There is so little soul in those eyes right now.

He does something weird with his mouth that I guess was supposed to be a smile.

"Not really"

I feel so bad for him I don't bother to torture him with small talk. I just lay my head on his shoulder.

Writers note:
Im visiting my grandma next week! Hopefully I'll get to update but be prepared to not see anything for a while...